Second best - would this annoy you?

[cloudyapples55]

My auntie (mums sister's) birthday is on Wednesday and my younger cousin is trying to arrange an evening meal for her with our family. As always everything is disorganised and last minute though. I don't think she understands that not everyone works 9-5 and needs some notice for plans.

Anyway, that isn't really the issue. My cousin asked my mum if she wanted to go for dinner and my mum replied to her today to say that she couldn't get any time off work so wouldn't be able to make it. She's just text me this evening and asked if I want to come. I'm also working and can't get time off work at such short notice so won't be able to go either but I seemed to be an after thought (well, that's how I've taken it anyway). Because my mum couldn't go so she asked me instead.

Apparently I'm being sensitive and have taken it the wrong way (so my mum says) and that my cousin probably thought that my mum would tell me but we don't even live together or speak every day, so why didn't she just contact me on Saturday like everyone else?!

Maybe you were an after thought OP, but as you can't go anyway, does it really matter?

I mean, your aunt is probably closer to your DM than you. If this is the case then of course you would be a lower priority guest.

The whole thing sounds chaotic in that plenty of people seemingly weren't given enough notice. As you said your cousin assumes everyone works 9-5 when lots of you clearly don't.
You can't go, so say so and tell cousin to please give more notice next time so both you and mum can attend. I'm sure there's no malice in it, so don't take it badly.

Because “As always everything is disorganised and last minute though”

She just hasn’t got round to inviting everyone at the same time.

Also… if you were invited to fill your Mum’s place, so what? Sisters are closer relatives than nieces.

But it doesn’t sound a restricted numbers sort of ‘do’, she just invited you on a different day to when she invited your Mum.

You do sound v high maintenance.

You can't go anyway so it really doesn't matter does it? Your mum is right, it's not a big deal so let it go!

my cousin probably thought that my mum would tell me but we don't even live together or speak every day

Your cousin is chaotic and doesn’t think ahead, and if she and her Mum text a lot every day she probably imagines you do.

Whatever the reason your invitation came as it did it is not something to take offence over.