Apologies, this is (as with all my posts- under whichever name I've used!) way longer than intended.
TLDR - do I (publicly or otherwise) hold my snobby, nasty neighbour to account for insulting my child (and me)?
Some background:
Single mum to 13 year old daughter. She's not seen her (another's thread's worth) dad for 10 years and he pays no maintenance, no contact, lies to CMS, abusive, etc etc. (only vaguely relevant here).
I have my own issues with dd at home, but ultimately she's polite to others, is bright (but doesn't try her best at school) and caring. She wears too much makeup for my liking, rolls her school skirt too short but not unlike the vast majority of year 8 girls IME. Anyway, I've seen worse!!
As for me- i keep myself to myself, love time alone and absolutely don't get involved in dramas (even typing that made me cringe).
Final background info- we live in a small flat but on a fairly nice road with some big detached houses.
Last year, she made a friend down the road (goes to a different school). They get on well. Girl seems nice, fun, bright and a bit quirky - maybe slightly wild (but not in a bad way)- hence they get on! Not sure it's relevant, but she is adopted, and an only child.
After a few times hanging out on our road, her mum calls round to say hi- basically, to check me out. I didn't invite her in- only because I never invite anyone in as, much as I hate to be, I'm quite ashamed of our flat and the look of the communal hallway. But we chatted outside the front door for a minute or two.
She then invited me round for a drink one Friday eve shortly after (to complete the vetting process). She's definitely not my kind of person (Mrs Bouquet) and seemed v keen on boasting about her many parties with all the other (wealthy) neighbours - but i thought we had a fairly amicable evening.. although i do recall leaving with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth - couldn't quite put my finger on it (to mix my metaphors!) and i remember her reply to my friendly text, thanking her for a lovely evening, was a bit dry.
Whatever, I really wasn't interested in being friends, just glad to get the dreaded drink over with.
Anyway, since then, her daughter has told mine on several occasions that her mum isn't keen on them meeting up because she thinks I'm 'sketchy' (apparently on account of the fact that she doesn't know me) and that my daughter, too, is 'sketchy' (i imagine this may well be the dd's own interpretation of a different word).
But still - having half ignored it initially thinking I can't take it at face value, I've heard it said now several times, not to mention some other obvious signs she looks down on me: she recently insinuated in text that her dd only buys junk food when she's with mine (after having also recently patronised me about having to 'clip their wings' ).
I had also always noticed that she never had my d to their house despite her daughter having been here numerous times (presumably because it helped her out). We've never really communicated with each other apart from a few texts very recently.
ANYWAY - to the point.
Today, my dd tells me her friend wasn't allowed out at first because - to quote the quote from her friend, at least:-
"My mum thinks you look like the kind of girl who steals vapes and alcohol from the corner shop".
My questions are:
A) Do I text her about this? (Don't say no- I've composed a masterpiece!)
B) or........ Do I post said text on the neighbourly group WhatsApp (either accidentally, or just brazenly tagging her)?
My obvious problem is I can't be certain she even said those things - but my gut says she absolutely did.
If I do the group chat thing, is that just giving her license to call me the 'sketchy chav' she thinks I am??