our dd has been asked to be bridesmaid for a large church wedding she is 2.5 and will be just 3 when the day arrives. She has met the bride and bridegroom, maybe 5 times in all her life, and knows none of the other wedding party. The bridegroom in question is my husbands cousin who has recently emigrated here from canada, when he first moved here we saw them more often, although not that much, and when we agreed (a year ago) it seemed like a nice idea, but now we are not so sure. despite us inviting them they never come to see us (there has been some family politics and it would seem they have sided with the others!). I have no idea what they expect from my dd on the day, my husband spoke with his cousin who said they envisaged her walking up the aisle, in a crowded church, hand in hand with the page boy (also 2.5), and stay at the alter patiently throughout the whole fu**ing service! My DH told them it was a nice idea but might not go to plan. but they are not listening. Bride sent me a text message telling me that DD needed to be at rehersal the day before, so that would mean, DH has to take another day off (wedding on a Friday)and we'd all (we also have DS who is 1) have to travel 2 hours to the venue, all stay in a hotel, just for a rehersal FFS!! We just can't do all that so we've declined and said we just can't be at rehersal. I don't know what her dress looks like, (is it not normal for bride to shop with mum and child in these circumstances?). I thought when bridesmaids were this small they just needed to potter about looking pretty on the day perhaps be in a few photos, not walk up the aisle, dd is quite headstrong and i'm thinking she's gonna be scared stiff walking up the aisle without us in front of all those people she doesn't know. I just feel like we are being kept in the dark, and being told you shall do this and she shall wear this. Gonna call the bride today, to straighten things out a bit but don't know what to say. Just hope i can stay calm and collected! AIBU?