AIBU to be worried by this PT's advice to fast every day

[Whatisgoingonheredear]

Sorry to post in AIBU but I couldn't find the right topic.

DH used to have an eating disorder which he only told me about in recent years and I was devastated to never have noticed. He'd make himself sick after eating, regularly.
He stopped doing this a couple of years ago.

He has recently hired a PT because he is struggling with weight loss. DH is NOT in any way obese, he exercises daily and just wants to be a bit more slender so you can actually see the muscle he's worked hard to gain. Fair enough.

He acknowledges his family traumatised him about food/exercise as a child and this likely contributed to his previous eating issues. He's recently got a lot better with all of this but just wants to drop a few kilos in a healthy way. He's asked the doctor for blood tests as he struggles to lose weight despite eating well and exercising regularly, closely tracking his fat intake etc. The doctors brushed it off.

He followed the PTs plan and hasn't shifted anything. The PT has now told him to stop eating, basically. They've said he shouldn't eat anything until 3pm every day except protein shakes. They use a colour coding system for processed food and prior to telling him to stop eating, he got a "red" day for having one biscuit bar and a slice of bread.
Prior to signing him up, DH told this person he had an eating disorder previously, to which the person said sort of "we all have eating disorders mate" and skimmed over it. Didn't ask any questions.

I've expressed my concerns to DH but I'm really worried about this.
I understand the purpose of fasting but you shouldn't have to fast daily to lose weight and personally I think the PT should be sending DH to the doctor and not have ignored his history with food.
I just want to see if anyone knows if this is common practice? I have a PT myself but she promotes loving your body for what it is capable of and doesn't make it about weight. This other one promotes weight loss, dropping dress sizes, and I've even seen him use the pig emoji on his socials...

I don't want to over react if fasting in this way would be considered standard to kick start somebody's metabolism but I'm worried.

If he is having protein shakes he isn't fasting

Are they proper meal replacement shakes with adequate nutrition?

How does he know he is in calorie deficit? Is he tracking everything or just fat?

Not that it sounds like he needs to lose weight at all and I don't want to encourage him...but he would be far better off eating healthily.

There seem to be some people who think maximising protein intake is key to weightless but protein is calories too and protein shakes are only good for putting weight/muscle ON.

Is he encouraged to buy these protein shakes from his trainer by any chance?

A PT at my gym did a talk on nutrition which was just rubbish - he said to drink coffee to boost metabolism and also to drink milk after a workout to replenish, but when I remarked "ooo lovely, latte it is" he said I couldn't have latte. When I pointed out that it was literally coffee and milk that he'd just recommended, he wouldn't have it. Made me question absolutely everything in his presentation.

If he is going to fast he needs to have nothing except water. Drinking shakes is not fasting.

The fact that the trainer has this utterly basic bit of terminology wrong shows you how little they understand about diet.

I am a member of a fitness group. They sometimes have marketing campaigns towards women over 50 who want to drop dress sizes etc.
I am over 50. I do not need to drop a dress size. I love the classes - strength, held outside, people I really enjoy spending time with, the times suit me etc.
I opted out of all the emails and the whatsapp groups which support weight loss, and the app that asks you to submit your weight and measurements.
I have a history of an ED and know that engagement in any of that would be VERY BAD for me.
If your DH doesn't have that insight into his own health and the PT hasn't accommodated your DH's history then I really think your DH should not go.

The fact that DH is "tracking his fat intake" and UPFs whilst consuming biscuit bars, protein shakes and bread, shows he has never had (or not acted upon) decent nutritional advice in his life. It seems so extremely over-complicated.

Eat three wholesome meals a day made from scratch - some wholegrains, animal protein and plenty of plants. Make snacks protein based (an egg, a glass of kefir? ) on exercise days.
Done. There is no rocket science involved.
Heavy strength training and meat consumption are also testosterone promoting activities, so even IF he was struggling with his levels, the above would help.

I used to be a bodybuilder and PT. It is much, much easier to be slim, than be muscly-slim. Being muscular, equated with rising appetite for me. It's hard, unpleasant and not something I'd recommend to a person already struggling with maintaining their weight.
I'd suggest DH starts with wholesome and nutrient packed diet, combined with moderate strenghth exercise 3x a week and plenty of walking in between. It really is enough for most people to feel&look their best.

@Whatisgoingonheredear
And I don't think your husband needs his body medicalised - it can have it's own unintended consequences on mental health and weight.
Depending on his struggles, I'd be inclined to guide him towards Over-eaters Anonymous. It might help to break restrict-binge cycles.
He needs advice and suport to see food differently and fix his relationship with eating.

Are you 100% sure this weird dirt was recommended by the PT? It sounds like your DH is using him as an excuse for his new habits.

Yes it has, I've seen the messages.

For those who have asked, he tracks everything down to the letter.
Currently under this PT he is sending a diary of what he eats daily. The biscuit bar was a one off while he got both our kids out the door. Stuff happens and I don't think anyone should be penalised for having a biscuit bar and a bit of toast or whatever he had.

DH and I had a PT for a few weeks, he told us we needed to eat as otherwise our body goes into starvation mode, and hangs on to every bit of fat etc. it can. He gave us a nutrition sheet to give us a guide about healthy foods and the amounts we should be eating. He stressed the importance of getting enough calories.

Sounds like you DH's PT may not actually be qualified.

You sound very sensible, OP. Your dh's PT really doesn't. If you can, try to get your DH to work with someone else.

I don't think it takes a PT qualification to know that we need to eat, and that we need to eat food that is good for our bodies (in terms of quality and quantity).

Hi OP, can you guys afford a private blood test? I think given his ED history he can be referred to a nutritionist on the NHS by the GP. See if he can see another GP and not the one who brushed him off. Also, I know it doesn’t sound great but you have to be tactical when asking for blood tests. If he is within the healthy BMI the GP is unlikely going to refer him for bloods to help with weight lose or how he can better his physique. For testosterone he can say he has a low sex drive and for the thyroid he can mention feeling tired 🤷‍♀️.

PT's have very varied levels of knowledge around training, some have some (limited) knowledge of nutrition. For a lot of them their nutrition knowledge extends no further than maximising protein for muscle, bulking and then cutting.

But whatever level of knowledge they have, they have no knowledge of medical conditions, that is the responsibility of the individual to ensure what their PT tells them does not conflict with any medical conditions.

Stuff happens and I don't think anyone should be penalised for having a biscuit bar and a bit of toast or whatever he had.

I disagree with that actually - if you’re following a strict programme, you do need to be “penalised” (it’s not really a penalty, just being noted as red) if you don’t follow it - whatever the reason.

But I think he shouldn’t be following a programme like that in the first place.

For those suggesting OP's H goes to the doctor or gets blood tests... he is a healthy weight and wants to shift a few pounds for VANITY reasons.

This is not a good use of NHS resources, nor would it be a priority.

I felt anxious reading the first few paragraphs of your post - I think you’re right to feel alarmed.

He's not being penalised though is he?
I don't really understand classing toast as ultra processed, then advocating protein shakes.
Or tracking calories but then focusing on the type of food.

His metabolism may be less than optimal but otherwise calorie deficit will always result in weightless....if its not its either because he is not tracking intake properly, or he is overestimating his calories out, or he is retaining water.

A healthy weight doesn't mean there is no eating disorder (especially with bulimia). If he was ever diagnosed and can feel himself slipping again then a talk with his GP could be very helpful. The resources used to prevent a relapse would cost the NHS less than treating someone with a full blown ED.

Maybe his trip to the GP to ask about blood tests was a failed attempt to open up about feeling unhappy and slipping into old behaviours.

OP hasn't said more so we don't know, but I did want to respond to this comment.

@CharlotteBog I was referring to other posters' comments, not the OP's. But she does say "The reason DH wanted to go to the GP was incase he has thyroid problems or similar." IANAD but there has been no mention of any other symptoms associated with thyroid problems.

This man is a healthy weight and is just being sucked into the fantasy of achieving a ripped body by staged or fake photos of men. Just like women aspire to unrealistic hair/skin/body shapes because of digitally enhanced photos of celebs. He needs to be told honestly that it's probably not possible for him to achieve that look in a sustainable and healthy way! He doesn't need advice on how to fast better and if he needs therapy then he needs to go and get it.

He'd need to get down to 5-9% body fat for his muscles to be defined like those in bodybuilding competitions and what he needs to realise is these men (and women) go through a strict process leading up to these competitions. It is not how they look everyday because it's pretty much unachievable to do safely with n a long term basis.