Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Suspected child abuse

28 replies

Whatshouldido91 · 01/07/2024 03:00

I was friends with a woman who has 2 DC, a boy and a girl. I would frequently babysit both children alongside my own and we were very close

We fell out last year as my DD was supposed to stay at hers for the night but when I rang my DD to wish her goodnight she sounded really u comfortable so I went and got her but ex friend didnt want me to come to the house and met me half way, she said a mutual friend was watching her children whilst she brought me DD and I repeatedly asked her if she was telling the truth as I knew for a fact mutual friend would never go to her house

It turned out my friend had asked DD to lie to me about friends abusive boyfriend staying whilst my DD was there, she had taken DD out for a nice meal but told me she was eating pasta in the kitchen & she had told me DD was sleeping in friends old tshirt but she had actually gone and bought DD new pyjamas but not sent her home with them. She told my DD to say mutual friend was there instead of her boyfriend

When I asked her about all of the above she said she didnt get children to lie because of sexual abuse and at the time I thought it was really odd that she randomly mentioned sexual abuse. She denied getting my DD to lie and called my DD a liar until mutual friend confirmed they never went to my friends house to watch her children all she said about it was " I thought we'd moved past it"

There had been occasions in the past where I knew shed gotten her children to lie about things + she had lied about things but as they were minor things i just looked past it,

It has recently come out that my ex friend has accused another child of sexually assaulting her DS. At first it was that her son had pulled his pants down and said another child had showed him and now it has progressed to the other child has raped her child, other child is a girl. Children in question are 4 and 5

I used to frequently pick up her children from school and her DD would frequently wet herself at school and complain she was getting pains. Teacher mentioned it to me several times that she needed to see a doctor and I passed the message onto ex friend

The reason I didnt like her boyfriend was because the children would frequently tell me he was horrible to them, had locked them in the car for 2 hours ( ex friend and friends colleague confirmed this was true ) and that they didnt like him. Friend knew I didnt want him around my children. I had the children a lot because I knew ex friend was struggling and I'd rather have the kids at my house than them being with her boyfriend

Since she mentioned sexual abuse I've been worried about her children but I've never had any solid proof, I still dont now I suppose,

But none of this looks good does it? Her accusing another child of sexually assaulting her child has really rang alarm bells for me and I'm really wondering if she has only said that because shes trying to cover for her and her boyfriend, especially with Her mentioning sexual abuse when co fronted about asking my DD to lie to me.

It's a big accusation for me to say though isnt it?

What should I do? I feel horrible, not that I might have to make this accusation to a proffesional, but that I didnt say somthing sooner

What do you lot think? Should I speak to social services?

OP posts:
skyandocean · 01/07/2024 05:04

This is all very concerning, why would she take ur daughter out for a meal, buy her new pjs but not tell you? Why lie she's eating pasta in the kitchen when she's been out for a meal? This is very concerning behaviour, n exactly what happens in sexual abuse victims, the victims are treated to nice things n then are abused to confuse the situation. N then for her to randomly mention sexual abuse to you n now accuse a 4/5 yr old girl of raping her child! You need to report this now, there is something very sinister at play here, I worry what's happening to those kids

I have a very bad feeling about this, report to school, police n ss

Nottherealslimshady · 01/07/2024 05:14

100% call the school, social services and the police. A family is currently going thorugh the turmoil of their insanely young child being investigated for rape. Put your side to the police for their sake as well this woman's kids.

As far as "I dont want to cause any trouble for anyone" goes. Fuck her. Absolutely cause trouble for her. Look at what she's doing to her children and what she tried to do to yours. She is behaving so dangerously.

I think it's a huge red flag the way she treated your daughter that night. She bought her new pyjamas, and tried to hide that. Had her boyfriend round and took her out for dinner (lovely date) and tried to hide that. Tried to get your daughter to lie to you. It smacks of grooming given the circumstances.

Taking your kids friend along with you on a family dinner and grabbing some new pj's so they don't have to wear someone else's clothes. Kind and considerate. Doing that in secret with your abusive boyfriend and lying about it. Creepy af.

Calamitousness · 01/07/2024 05:17

You are right to be concerned OP. This definitely needs discussion with Social services and I would inform the school as well. This is extremely worrying and needs investigated appropriately by the right people.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page