To think that my ex should have told me he was introducing our 2 year old to his new partner?

[Butterfly757]

I have a two year old DD with my ex. Had no idea he was in a relationship until my daughter started being dropped home in a woman's car who I have now found out is his girlfriend. Obviously have no issue with him being in a relationship but just feeling pissed off that I wasn't made aware out of courtesy that this woman would be in my child's life and she would be dropping her home. AIBU?

I would have expected a text to advise that the new gf would be dropping off the child. It's just common courtesy. I would have thought but not said, 'who the fuck are you and what are you doing with my child?'

I agree op. Just a simple heads up, that’s all. I think it’s basic. Perhaps he found it too awkward to say - or it didn’t cross his mind?

You’ll get a lot of people saying what happens on his time isn’t your concern, which is true to some extent. Morally though I think he should have told you. When I was about my meet my now DSD, DH told his ex and vice versa when DSD met the man who’s now her stepdad. It’s just manners to give a heads up IMO.

Common curtesy means he would tell you. But he doesn't have to.
I found out my ex was seeing someone when I got a text from his number saying "R be dropping the boys home today"
I replied "who's R?" As it isn't the inital of any of his family. I got back "R!!!! You know as in I will, his fiance, <name>"

FTR her name doesn't begin with R, R isn't short for 'I will' AFAIK, and I didn't know she existed!

You're unreasonable to expect him to tell you if he's introducing child to someone.
You're not unreasonable to expect him to tell you someone else is looking after your child and dropping them back.

I didn't tell my ex everyone my 3 year old met. I met up with lots of people with the 3 year old, several of my colleagues and their children, old uni friends and their kids, a (very) ex-girlfriend and a couple of dates. I didn't take kid on first dates obviously but by date 3 I was happy to meet. I wouldn't have wanted to spend 6 months dating someone to find that they didn't get on with my child or vice versa. The first person I went on a date with my kid on I didn't see again as between us we had too many kids and... it didn't work out - but we all had a good day out, the next woman ... I married. No way was I going to tell my ex about my dating life - nor was I going to say anything to my child other than we're going to place X with my friend called Y. I wasn't going to introduce them to my child as a girlfriend until we were sure though.

Once I was serious with my now wife, and she moved in with me, my ex demanded to meet - which was a weird meeting for all of us but an understandable request - although in some ways it was a double standard as my ex had not considered that I might want to know about the au-pair she'd moved in with her.

I don't think people have read your post correctly.

So a women you've never met,or know of , has come to your front door and handed your child to you.

No wonder you're shocked.

This is MN so of course YABU 🙄

In reality though, yes of course he should've told you. It's just common courtesy. Plus it impacts your child, just as any other significant event would.

I think it's very wierd that an unknown. Woman (to you) drives and drops off your toddler with no message. You know nothing about them