To ask what you would think of this?

[CobaltQueen]

Colleague came into work in tears the other day.
Her partner of six years used to be married to a wonderful woman who sadly passed away. The partner thought he would never be happy again until he met said colleague a year after the death of his wife. It has been blissful ever since. They don't live together and are both in their sixties.
However, the other night a mutual friend of theirs said that a song always reminds him of colleagues partner and his dead wife and colleague got really upset about it and said she felt it was disrespectful to her. I'm not 100% sure it is?

Its not a relationship she should be in if she finds that disrespectful. She should be fine about honouring what they had.

This isn't about a colleague is it? ;)

Not disrespectful in the slightest, surely your colleague doesn’t think that her partner’s former wife should never come up in conversation again? It’s not as if the wife is any kind of threat to the life they have now. She needs to accept that he has a past and that from time to time it will be mentioned by others. Was it the song in particular that upset her? You can’t whitewash other people’s history.

Depends tbh.

If person repeatedly says "that song always reminds them of X, that film reminds me of X, wasn't X the most wonderful curry maker/singer/comedian/gardener etc..." whilst snide sly side eye at colleague - then that's harsh to deal with.

If it's just "this sing reminds me of x" that's normal. We do remember those who died and talk about them.

A mutual friend said that a song reminded them of a couple? How is this disrespectful?

Even if it was the widowed guy who said it, it is purely a statement of fact. He had a wife. They shared a life together. She died. She is not erased from history.

I think it’s pretty crass to say, to someone’s face, “This song reminds me of your partner and his dead wife”, yes.

I also think your colleague bursting into tears, rather than just thinking “Jeez, tactless much?” is a massive overreaction.

Basically ‘your colleague’ is a drama queen and a baby and ‘her friend’ is a tactless idiot.

Not me, I am single.

Colleague was in tears over it that's all and I was trying to help, but not really sure for the reason of the upset due to reasons mentioned here.

Not disrespectful, maybe just a bit tactless if said in presence of new partner. Nothing to be in tears over though.