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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Right to feel worried about this?

16 replies

RedOrBlueOrYellow · 30/06/2024 11:20

I have visited 4 large cities in the past 2 months and each time have seen groups of men just standing around in groups. Not teens, no women, no children, just men.

I find it intimidating, they aren't working, queuing or participating in anything but standing around in groups, looking around.

Am I unreasonable to feel worried. I've stereotyped them in my head as shoplifters or pickpockets. Why aren't they working or going somewhere.

OP posts:
RedOrBlueOrYellow · 30/06/2024 12:51

I thought I might be unreasonable and maybe it's usual in larger cities to have groups of men hanging around

OP posts:
RedOrBlueOrYellow · 30/06/2024 12:52

I live in a smallish town for clarification

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 30/06/2024 13:02

I've been in Manchester, Liverpool and Birmingham very recently. I've not noticed anything untoward in city centres but I can be quite unobservant.
Men can meet and speak without women and children present, you know.

Foodsafe · 30/06/2024 13:04

Men are allowed to be in groups! Where do you normally live?

Coppercup · 30/06/2024 13:05

Men standing around talking? What are you worried about? Do men not talk in your small town?

Epicaricacy · 30/06/2024 13:06

You know women, teens and even children can be pickpockets or shoplifter too?

Even more so, because children don't face any consequence, so they are a better a choice.

Mouswife · 30/06/2024 13:08

I have seen this too, but these are young men and they are usually looking unkempt and drinking. I think we have a lot of substance abuse and poverty that is crippling society and these groups are a product of that.

KreedKafer · 30/06/2024 13:31

It’s none of your business.

This isn’t North Korea. People are allowed to hang out and do nothing if they want to. Why are you intimidated? They’re not doing anything to harass you, are they?

FWIW I live in a large city and I haven’t noticed any more groups of men lately.

Also, shoplifters and pickpockets are just as likely to be women.

Bearybasket · 30/06/2024 13:48

If they were doing anything untoward, they wouldn’t be drawing attention to themselves by gathering in a large groups in public places Hmm

SallyWD · 30/06/2024 13:48

I can't say I've noticed this. I see group of teenage boys standing around (and teenage girls) but haven't really noticed men.
I can't say I'd be too worried if I saw this. Unless I saw them actually pick pocketing or something I wouldn't think twice about it.

RedOrBlueOrYellow · 30/06/2024 13:53

Mouswife · 30/06/2024 13:08

I have seen this too, but these are young men and they are usually looking unkempt and drinking. I think we have a lot of substance abuse and poverty that is crippling society and these groups are a product of that.

I wondered about this. Recently a really large group, not really chatting etc seemed a bit spaced out. It just felt odd.

I'm perfectly aware men can meet in groups. This wasn't typical and might be drug related etc

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GivingYourHeadAWobble · 30/06/2024 13:57

It's very much like that in an area close to where I live.

But the men in question are from the local homeless hostels, and aren't allowed inside them between 10am and 6pm.

So they just hang around the town centre.

RedOrBlueOrYellow · 30/06/2024 13:59

GivingYourHeadAWobble · 30/06/2024 13:57

It's very much like that in an area close to where I live.

But the men in question are from the local homeless hostels, and aren't allowed inside them between 10am and 6pm.

So they just hang around the town centre.

That makes sense. It's sad then.

I felt intimidated because I was trying to pass and they were staring at people passing but also a but spaced out.

Makes sense if they're cold and hungry or have an addiction.

OP posts:
GivingYourHeadAWobble · 30/06/2024 14:01

RedOrBlueOrYellow · 30/06/2024 13:59

That makes sense. It's sad then.

I felt intimidated because I was trying to pass and they were staring at people passing but also a but spaced out.

Makes sense if they're cold and hungry or have an addiction.

They're mostly refugees in the area near me.

No idea if they're cold or have addictions, but I doubt they'll be hungry as the hostels pack bags of food and water for them.

Still a very sad way to have to live.

RedOrBlueOrYellow · 30/06/2024 14:11

GivingYourHeadAWobble · 30/06/2024 14:01

They're mostly refugees in the area near me.

No idea if they're cold or have addictions, but I doubt they'll be hungry as the hostels pack bags of food and water for them.

Still a very sad way to have to live.

If refugees they may have been sold a dream of the UK that doesn't actually exist for them.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 30/06/2024 14:12

Epicaricacy · 30/06/2024 13:06

You know women, teens and even children can be pickpockets or shoplifter too?

Even more so, because children don't face any consequence, so they are a better a choice.

Exactly, we've all seen Oliver🤣

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