My brother is cross with me and feels I'm super out of order about my parents and childcare
I have 2 preschool children, one of which is due to start school in September
When I was on maternity leave I spoke to my parents about childcare (Which nurseries we were looking at etc). They said they would love to have DC for an afternoon to help. Great! When DC2 came along they extended this to them also
Over the last 4 years I've asked them for the odd morning at the weekend if DH and I have something we can't take them to, or an extra half day in week if I have a clash (I work condensed hours so have them Wednesday afternoon).
Over the years sometimes they've said yes, sometimes they've said no. I am absolutely fine with this. I always ask with lots of notice and make it clear that it's no problem at all if not, I'll find an alternative but wanted to check with them first.
Our loose rule is they're always happy for me to ask as long as I'm always happy for them to say no when they need to. Which I am
My eldest starts school in September and I was looking ahead to half term October. I spoke to my DPs and asked if they would have eldest one day in the half term week.
They replied that they didn't want to get tied down to committing to half term childcare and for me to plan something alternative now my eldest is at school. (My brother was with them when my mum rang to tell me this) It was a complete non issue for me and I said of course I understand, no problem, thanks so much for letting me know and I'd book holiday club. We then spoke about a garden centre visit they'd done in the morning
My brother rang me later that day saying he thought was completely out of order for expecting my parents to do holiday childcare for me. I was completely shocked by this and said I absolutely didn't expect it, I had asked and had no issue at all with them saying no.
I then pointed out to my brother that his 3 children had not been to nursery thanks to my generous parents and his in laws taking up the slack and having his kids several times a week. In fact they still have all 3 once a week after school
My brother said this isn't the same as my parents were much younger then. (His children are now junior age) I said, I agree, which is why I didn't put them in the same position by expecting them to pick up the slack for me so I sent mine to nursery.
I've checked with my mum that she wasn't upset at being asked and she has no idea where it's come from and said she would always prefer I ask as they'll always try and help where they can.
Brother is now not talking to me as he thinks I'm taking advantage of my parents good nature.
AIBU?