Apologies as this is going to be long.
So I've been with my Partner 3 years and have a 1 year old child. We had a rocky year last year ( no cheating or anything like that involved) so we both decided he would move out temporarily while we have a bit of space to fix things. It seemed to help and our relationship seemed a lot better.
In the last couple of months, he's had some unexpected financial trouble come about and its really affected him mentally. I've done everything I can to help, listen to talk, offer and help with solutions, help him out financially when he doesn't have it etc. I've taken on the lions share of childcare while its been like this. However his mother does help a lot with childcare, which is amazing. This is due to her being quite lonely and she enjoys taking care of her grandchild but it also gives me a break.
So, earlier this week a close relative collapsed and was taken to hospital for a suspected heart attack. Completely out of the blue, normally young fit and healthy. I don't have a big family so all of my relatives rushed to be by their side. I held off at that point as the drs weren't sure exactly what was going on but relative was stable and also I didn't have any childcare.
So 2 days ago, it was my relatives birthday. I wanted to go and see my relative as they are still in hospital and drs are still unsure of what is going on. I asked my partner if he would come and stay with the baby after work. He finished work about 4 and if he came straight after he would be able to get to me for 4.30. I was only going to go for a quick visit. He said to me that it was short notice and he had to go to the gym after work as it helps his mental health. I understood this but I asked if perhaps he could miss the gym for one day as he goes everyday and I've taken on the lion share of childcare for the last couple months. He told me I was selfish for even asking him to do that and no he wouldn't be coming. I didn't bring that it up again. I asked his mother, she also said no as she had been out all week and needed some rest at home. OK fine. I didn't go and see relative.
So typically, my partner spends the night from Friday evening until Monday morning. So yesterday, I asked if he would be coming after work. He said no, as he was going out for a drink with his mother and sister. I told him to have fun and I would see him Saturday at some point. Also yesterday morning, his mother messaged me asking how my relative was doing. I told her drs were still unsure and relative was becoming very stressed and anxious but still stable. She sent her well wishes.
So, at about 2pm yesterday I was told the news that drs thought my relative had a rare type of tumour. I'm talking the drs had never seen this this before. It affects roughly 3 in 100, 000 people a year. Prognosis is not great but tests are still ongoing. I become really emotional and asked my partner once again if he could come after work and pick up the baby. He said no, he had plans and wouldn't be changing them. I also called his mother, she didn't pick up. I asked him to ring her and she told him no, she was busy and she spoke to me already this morning so was very confused as to what was going on. How he said it made me feel like she felt I was lying.
At this point, I had enough and told him I didn't feel like he was supportive at all. I've done everything i can for him and I don't feel the same support. The phonecall didn't end well. In the end I asked a friend who dropped everything to come and take care of the baby while I went to visit my relative. It was a very emotional and hard visit as answers still aren't clear. My relative was in shock and very emotional. They will be getting a more in depth scan today to see if there may be cancer somewhere else in their body and would be getting results today.
During this time, I didn't hear from my partner until 11pm, he sent a message telling me he was thinking of us all. I had just got back from the hospital. I gave him a call and he was clearly drunk, I asked him once again if he could pick up the baby tomorrow. He told me that I was a very selfish person and he is depressed and I spoke to him horribly earlier that day. I apologised and said I was emotional and its a hard time at the moment. During the call his mum called him from the other room. He put down the phone. I sent him a text telling him I couldn't do this anymore, I feel like I've been pushed aside for everything and anything else and he does nothing to support me. He read and didnt reply.
AIBU?