To be really worried about our finances?

[Thimbling]

I’m 35 years old and married with two children who are 10 and 8. We don’t own a house and we have one car which is quite old and not on finance. Below is a summary of our bank balances.

My current account £300
husnands current account £550
joint current account £1100
lifetime isa £22100
stocks and shares isa £990
My private pension savings £5000

Debt
Credit card balance £3770

I am really worried about our ages and the lack of financial security we have since we don’t own a home yet. My husband is in the military and has a reasonably good pension. I have no workplace pension so started saving in my own one about 2 years ago.

im just so stressed about being so far behind all of our family and friends. DH and I would love to have another child but it’s off the table.

Are you part time? Even if you’re under the threshold for automatic enrolment you can ask to join so the money you’re saving is coming pre tax. Your employer might be nice and contribute even if they don’t have to as well.

we have been living overseas and there is no workplace pension available through my employer, sadly.

You cannot afford another child so please knock that idea on the head.
You are not too old to own a home one day but make it a priority. Are you working FT? If not why not?

I have just left my job as we are relocating. I have one year of a degree to complete which will be full time study as well as parenting solo whilst my husband will be away. So I intend to complete my degree in spring and then find full time employment.

You can sit and do a budget plan which includes savings

see what you could afford to save

where would you like to purchase house? Abroad or U.K.?

It is a worry but you are doing well with your savings. If you can get rid of the credit card debt this year and just keep socking a bit of money away at a time you'll get there. There are still places in the UK (stoke on Trent, Hartlepool) which have freehold terraced houses for under £100k (I have visited both and they're fine, with lots to do and surprisingly lovely countryside) so you have your deposit already if you need to buy a house in the near future. I'd recommend getting health insurance if you do, which pays part of your salary if you can't work due to long term illness, for peace of mind.

People who bought twenty years ago found things much easier, and it doesn't seem fair how difficult things are now for people who missed that chance. But it is still possible.

I think you’re better off than a lot of people OP. I would think about setting up a private pension. But otherwise you’re actually solvent, most people aren’t.

@JuneSun24 thank you. its a private pension that I’ve set up. I am putting what I can in there.

Are you living in military accommodation or private renting. We stayed at 2 children as we would have had to move to a bigger house that we couldn’t have afforded. Times are hard, my DS is 34 still lives at home, no partner, cannot afford a house on his own, no GF, but you have 2 hopefully, wonderful DC and a DH. Unless your credit card is zero interest, I would try clearing this asap.

We are in military accommodation so that’s subsidised. Not quite so bad as renting thankfully. DH has around 4 years left of his military career but there are options to extend this. He is a non commissioned officer but is considering applying for commission, which I believe is would extend his career and would also benefit his pension.

Also, my husband should be able to stay in one location for the foreseeable future, so we should have some stability. And our accommodation is reasonably good.

Military accommodation is so cheap - I’d be looking at putting what you save on renting in a private pension.

I think it’s probably cheaper than buying as you get your repairs done too - I wouldn’t see that as a cause for concern.

I would do a monthly budget and track spending so that you know where the money is going. If you know how much you are really spending it can be quite shocking and worked out on a yearly basis can really make you think about whether you want it.

Depending on how quickly you want to get finances in order, you can then make the necessary cut backs or look at ways to up your income, whether that’s extra hours or side hustles.

I would look to get the debt paid off and then save as much as you can. Have a look at websites like money saving expert can be really motivating and give good ideas and there are challenges on there you can join in for support.

If you know where you would be looking at living, you could also have a look to see what sort of prices you would be looking at and mortgage calculators to see what sort of income and deposit you would need. I know the market can change a lot but it might be helpful.

Do you have longer term plans for when your husband leaves military service? If he can stay on, all well and good, but it might be an idea to do some long term planning so you’re not caught out.

Have a look at the Dave Ramsey plan- a lot of it is American but the main points are there x

I think you’re being really hard on yourself, military life is not only hard but also very expensive. I think it’s easy to forget the cost of moving, even with disturbance allowance it does really add up. Then not adding on the help with childcare a lot of people have with family living near by. It would be great for you guys to aim for a rental property, once we lump summed the deposit it’s quite minimal now but keeps us on the property ladder. Nationwide do mortgages for people in the armed forces that keep your interest rate to normal rates and not buy to let property rate but I can also appreciate it’s a lot of money to save and part with x

Fellow dependent here, 10 years ahead of where you are.
If we had our time again, we absolutely would have got out at the stage of life you're at. The lack of funding has decimated what 'perks' there were to make it a worthwhile 'lifestyle'. I have sacrificed my career for his but we no longer live in a world where the X factor makes it manageable. We all work, but it's most minimum wage.

The forces provide an element of guaranteed security but as you will well know, it comes with more and more uncertainty, relentless tours/courses/exercise's etc. You, your career and your family life will always take a back seat, and the support network these days is pitiful.

Married Unaccompanied is an option becoming more popular, enables you to build the rock solid support you need for childcare so you can build a career and get on the housing ladder. I would say you do need a rock solid relationship for this to succeed though.

Over 25 years I know very few who have successfully maintained an actual career alongside the serving spouse (unless dual serving or they've not moved, which is still very unusual).

@FreakOfNature my husband says he can’t get out because he is 3 or 4 years away from qualifying for his full pension.

@FreakOfNature but I totally agree with everything you are saying. The expenses of being military far outweigh any perks or “cheap housing” etc. My husband had to leave at the drop of a hat and sometimes for upto 9 months. With no family support network nearby to help with childcare. And then relocating frequently. My husbands salary is far too low to make up for the challenges that I face in building a strong career.

Why do you say that? @Thimbling op has more saved than we did when we did had our last child, and we were renting too at the point. 8 years later we are fine, and own a home ( small mortgaged) I was 36, dh was 43 when we had our last child and shortly after bought a home, and it's all been fine

@Thimbling In that case, definitely consider married unaccompanied, particularly when you know it will be limited to a couple of years. It will make the transition smoother. Leaving the fold is usually a bit of a head f* 😵‍💫, they are so indoctrinated.
Undoubtedly, you will need to grow a thick skin, put the pressure on and take the lead. It will be hard for you both, bit you will be better off financially in the long run.
DH is middle OF-3 and once rent/ciloct is taken out he clears just over £3k a month. A third of that goes on boarding school fees. Kids did 6 schools before year 7, their education suffered significantly.

Duncan Bannantyne was sat on a beach with not so much as a bank account at 30! He did ok!

Point being don't worry too much. Don't ruin your younger years working. Do your best. You have more than many and your earning potential will only increase.

Good luck!

@Thimbling just to say I agree with your husband re staying another 3-4 years to get his full pension. He has got this far, don't walk away from it now.

Frankly, your DH is so far down the line that I would advise him to stay to complete his service for pension and go for a commission if he can. When he comes out, there are any number of jobs where the sole qualification is to be an ex-officer.

As for your current finances, while you're not rolling in cash, the black items outweigh the red by a fair margin.

Don't get complacent but I think you are being over-anxious.

How rude! It's not up to you to tell someone if they can have another child or not! Looks like she haa plenty of money to me.

Op if you want another child go for it.