AITA?
I’m in a bit of a situation and I don’t know how I should feel/think about it so can you please weigh in w opinions ?
I have 2 kids - a 4yr old and 4 mth old EBF.
my partner is going for 2 nights away which is best part of 3 days.. basically for a drinking session. says he should be able to do things w out the kids like he used to. fine. But does it need to be a whole wkend? The baby is still young.. and I feel like he’s abandoning me a bit.
it’s not like I can’t handle the kids- but it’s the way in which he’s doing it that seems unreasonable. it’s that he doesn’t properly say that he’s doing it just mentions it little by little and then one night out has turned into a whole wkend..
i don’t want to have an argument about it as I’m sick of having arguments about him drinking. he’s had quite a few of these wkends away drinking and we’ve had arguments about them.. mainly because he wasn’t there for me when I needed him when pregnant etc.
and he has been drinking too much round the kids sometimes like at festivals been drunk and come back to tent and Ofc I’m pissed off. Same for coming home after nights out to the point that I don’t want him to come back and tell him to stay at a friends or somewhere else. I don’t want him coming back and waking us up and older one seeing him drunk. They shouldn’t be exposed to that. He’s useless the next day anyways so one night out usually means next day solo parenting for me too.
i feel it’s embarrassing him drinking so much in front of other parent friends too eg at festivals etc but he doesn’t care. Says he’s bonding w other parents/dads.
I think that you shouldn’t be drinking taking care of kids (1-2 is ok, but not drunk or tipsy..) what if you needed to drive them to hospital? Or make a medical decision? Could you say you’re of sound mind? Your reactions are slowed and awareness of danger like cars etc not as sharp, etc you get the picture- it’s irresponsible imo. and also not good for older one to see ! They’re very sharp and know much more than they let on! I don’t want this to become a thing as they get older.
When I say about these wkends away he says I should arrange things for me. But I can’t - my baby is EBF only and I’m not pumping or doing bottles or anything else as bf is going good. I also don’t want to stress the kids out by leaving them so I can get drunk/ do my own thing. The older one knows her dad goes to see his friends and is gone for the day/night/next day etc. (a night out starts w him heading out in afternoon often) I feel like I’m just not at that stage of life and that’s ok. I don’t get how he thinks he’s not at this stage of life w me? Or does it just not apply to him?
they’ll be plenty of time for festivals etc when the kids are older. Just not when baby is still so young. Am I being unreasonable here?
sorry about the rant and length of this. Just thought some context is necessary. If you have any questions let me know.
what would you do if you were me?
I think I feel unsupported, and abandoned as baby is so small and given previous issues w his nights out, (and at worst like he doesn’t give a shit a bit as long as still has his fun) not sure what to do so opinions welcome.
thanks