What were benefits like in the 90s/2010s?

[Autumnflakes]

I’ve name changed for this.

I came into some inheritance and I feel my mum believes she’s somewhat entitled to it for bringing me up on her own/she has nothing. There’s bit of a split in the family as some see my mum as poor old Susan, always had it hard, would be good for her to have a bit of luck. Where as DH said that she’s just lazy, expecting the world to fall at her feet, and since he’s said that I’ve been thinking…

I grew up in absolute poverty, hot water was only on just before sharing a bath (couple of times a week) or I’d boil the kettle for a wash. Our oven broke and wasn’t replaced for years, even before that, it was seen as a waste to have it on, even on Xmas. There were times I was genuinely hungry, I was definitely malnourished for a lot of those years. Sometimes my mum would have a ‘partner’ for a couple of years at a time and things would be slightly better. I remember 2008/2009 clearly as mum was single and we had nothing. I’d sell things on eBay that I had bought from charity shops so I could buy myself lunch at school. I’d quite often miss school as it was just too cold to get out of bed/being lethargic. I worked 20 hours a week from turning 16 and it all went on essentials for us both. When I went to uni everyone moaned how bad living conditions were but to me I thought it was amazing, at least we’d have the heating on when it was really cold and I had money to do a weekly shop!

My mum always said that she was only entitled to child benefit and Widows pension. That’s why we couldn’t have free school meals and because she had a mortgage we weren’t entitled to housing benefit. All of her benefits went on the mortgage which was around £300pm. She’d often say that we’d be better off in a council house but we were trapped where we was (even now I believe it was the right decision to stay in the house). Apparently she wasn’t entitled to income support and that’s what other support was based on.

Something just seems a bit fishy. Food banks weren’t introduced until the conservative government came into power. Surely mum would have bothered to apply for all the benefits she was entitled to? She has a lot of pride to the outside world, but surely she would have put that to the side to ensure that we weren’t living in that level of poverty. But, her ability to procrastinate from everything/find excuses why she couldn’t work/general laziness is something else.

She’s always hinting for money from us. Sometimes I do feel bad as I do remember that time and I wouldn’t have anyone live like that. She is better off now, she’s mortgage free and receiving her pension. She always talks as if she was a hero for getting us through that time. How hard she’s always had it but made it work. How much she had to sacrifice as a single mum and I should be thankful. Thankful and repay her for her struggles. It was the governments fault for not helping. She would occasionally have a part-time job, but they’d always be a reason why it wasn’t working out.

Looking at a fact sheet of benefits from 2008, the only non-means benefits she was entitled to was CB and WP at a total of £438. Minus the £300 for the mortgage, it sounds about right that we had £138 for the rest of the month she always had enough for cigarettes too.

If my inclination is right, that she didn’t even bother to apply for more benefits/pride stopped her from reaching out for help, I will have zero guilt for not paying for her to go on holiday. I do have little sympathy already because she should have stuck at a job but if she didn’t even bother with filling out some forms for benefits while I starved, I will call her out.

Yea agree, as a single parent in the late 1990s received very little and once working even very part time all that went except child benefit and there was absolutely no childcare help. Was miles better off once WFTC came in 2001

What makes you think I wasn't on income support? DP fucked off shortly after he discovered online dating on that computer. Took it with him, too - got my first computer of my own in 2009 with a disabled students grant.

Still unsure how I was supposed to afford to get the bus to the library when I was skint, though.

To answer your deeper question, OP, you don't owe your mum anything. She chose to have you, and barely supported her child because she was too lazy and oppositional to hold a job. She made her own poor decisions and you now get to make your own good decisions, such as using your inheritance to invest in your future, whatever that looks like to you.

Good luck, OP. Don't let her guilt and manipulate you.

Well I was poorer as a student than I had been on income support so my point is even if you were on income support it doesn’t mean you were the poorest of the poor. I lived in a little rural village so it would have been a bus or bike ride to the nearest library too. I was bringing up 3 children, not sure what people also eligible for the same benefits I received were doing with their money but even back then could not understand how they could apparently not feed their children when with careful budgeting mine certainly didn’t go without (in addition to needing to pay off loans from setting up home after a separation)

I definitely don't think benefits when you had children were anywhere near as generous as they are now.
I had first child in 2006, married with husband working full time, me at home with baby. We were really very poor, couldn't afford a phone line or Internet, had a very old car husband used to get to work. Didn't have enough money for food, i remember my parents buying us food shopping to get by.

I think your mum was trying to do the very best she could manage for you. I guess she had some MH issues due to worrying about the mortgage and was not realising you were hungry.

There was no minimum wage then, in 1990 my first job was £1.50 an hour. I had my son, also a single parent, early 90s so he’s probably the same age as you. We were homeless for a time but when I was housed by the council the rent and council tax were paid in full and I had my child benefit and income support to live on. I was allowed to earn £20 a week only at the same time so I worked a PT job. It was very tight and I went without clothes and food to feed my child. How on earth your mum managed with a mortgage to be paid I have no idea as she would not have got help to pay that.

I only lived like that a few years when my child was a baby and toddler as I went back to college and studied, worked three jobs and moved us out of the council house before my son started school to get our lives back on track. I have no knowledge of benefits etc from then on as apart from child benefit I have never been entitled to anything else ever since. I hope your mum has managed to have a more stable and happier life since, it sounds like her life was very hard as was mine x

In 2000 30% of people had access to the internet at home. So it is not true that everyone had easy access to the internet then. Things have changed very fast.

She would have at least have had child tax credit of £60 a week, child benefit & either income support or some other benefit. If she worked 16 hours she would have qualified for working tax credit as well. At that time you could get mortgage help on the interest which would have been around £65 a month. Widowed parents allowance was 97.65 & Income support was £101.30 in 2010. She would also have had her council tax paid.

She would not have been entitled to that income support though.

What you describe is awful for a child to endure, but that simply isn't what 'absolute poverty' looks like.
It certainly doesn't include an home with a mortgage.

@Nat6999 child tax credit was introduced in 2003.

I know, the figures I quoted were for 2010.

I was 16 in 2001 and had access to the internet at school and at my friends house. There was probably a computer with the internet in our towns library but our town has never had an internet cafe. We’re obviously from different backgrounds

Compared to who? It doesn't matter if a house is rented off a local authority, private landlord or the bank. The child was growing up with inadequate provision of care. Below standards of cleanliness and warmth; and not enough calories in a day to nourish a child is absolute poverty. It is also neglect.
A mother with obvious MH problems and probably PTSD from being widowed - was it the child's father who died ? If not where was the child support from him?
Why didn't anybody at school notice and step in?
The family who are always saying poor Susan where were they when the child was cold and hungry?
OP doesn't owe her mum anything but mum wasn't the only adult who let her down.

People are comparing apples and oranges
2009 was very very different to 2001 in so many ways.
If you say early 00s to me I am thinking 2004 at latest....People did not have smart phones then.
Internet was not common in 2000/2001, and lots of things were still not available to do online.

Tax credits as they are came in 2003
So any adverts were 2003 onwards.
Any income above 13k child tax credits gradually reduced. From 10/week to nothing.
Working tax credits were for working families on low incomes...but if you were used to not working that wasn't an overnight switch.

That was my thought too.

Plus she couldn't be bothered to work.

She was lazy and selfish and she's doing ok now.

If she'd worked hard and sacrificed to raise you and was still struggling now, I'd help her out if I could. She didn't so they'd be nothing coming from me.

It's sounds like you worked very hard and went without to prioritise your children.

OPs mum however couldn't be bothered to work and spent money on cigarettes instead of food for her child.

It's not the same at all.

Leaving aside the fags and looking at the point re: a mortgage meaning you can’t be in poverty; you are mistaken. If circumstances change or you were never eligible for social housing of some type, you can’t just walk away from a property quickly. You’d be classed as making yourself intentionally homeless for one, for two, you’d be financially worse off than staying.

I lived through similar in the 70’s early 80’s. Parent ineligible for council housing; unable to join a wait list as ex-army and not classed as resident anywhere. By some miracle, and it was a miracle as mortgages were severely limited then, parents got a mortgage. All ok for a few years until the recession when the industry he worked in left him on short hours/laid off/on strike and interest rates rose quickly. I was fed and clothed by grandparents as the mortgage payments came first. The house was unsellable as no one else could afford it either. This was the era of home owners posting the keys back through the door of the bank. I used to envy the security of classmates in council accommodation. A critical period of my childhood was full of anxiety and shame due to the circumstances I lived in.

Benefits were definitely less generous in the 90's especially if you were working pt. They improved in early 2000's then started to get eroded later that decade. We all know what happened once the conservatives got in ... reality is that is tough on benefits though more generally, but harder still if you aren't coping well mentally. I don't see it as top trumps as when it was harder /easier though those of us who are older can see that the benefits providing a minimum standard of living have improved over time.

Sorry you are mixing me up. I am saying the same as you re a mortgaged house ie renting off the bank.

The OP hasn't said her mum spent money on fags and booze that was another poster who said her mum had.

@BartlebyArcher it's crazycatlady
Who said poverty doesn't include a mortgage.

I'm sorry you had such a tough childhood.

My childhood was before yours, 10 years plus. But the benefits would have been similar.

My mum got WP. Child benefit. Was left with a mortgage. She struggled with her depression when Dad died. Anti depression meds were different then, addictive and not always a "cure." Long-term struggles with her MH to be happy and functioning, maybe your mum experienced similar or even worse?

We were lucky that our oven didn't break as I doubt she'd been able to replace it, even though she worked FT. That would have been a rental if it had. Would not have been able to replace it with a new one.

I didn't as a child always feel poor. I know we were because we went without many simple things (heating, food, new clothes) that my school friends took for granted. Milk was watered down, bath once a week, hand me down clothes from a visiting Auntie. My nan knitted me school cardigans as we couldn't afford new ones.

The price of a packet of cigarettes, were literally as cheap as chips then, compared to other everyday necessities, I can't see that as a significant contributing factor.

This isn't about my life being worse / better than yours or anyone else's.

I don't know if you can talk to your mum to get a better understanding and voice how you feel, then move on. TBH, I feel sad for you both.

I retract - OP crossed it out that her mother always had money for cigs.

I was on income support with two children.
I worked part time but you could only earn £10 per week..any over that was taken off your IS. You were only allowed so much to live on.
Any child maintenance was also taken off your benefits.. for same reason.
You had so much for yourself and so much for each child.
I got child benefits too.
I worked every lunch time for two hours on school dinners.. l earned £20 per week but only saw £10 of it.
My children's dads were ordered to pay £25 per week each child.. but was taken off my benefit ..
I got housing benefit and council tax reduction.
I remember having to cut up towels for nappies.
Luckily l had an hysterectomy because l couldn't afford sanitary towels.
Many meals were chips beans and bread and butter.
When the electricity ran out.. we would play board games via torches.
A ll 3 of us in my bed to keep warm.
My Mum was widowed age 55 and did her best to help us.
But only had a widows pension herself.
We would put together and she would make a big stew and Yorkshire puddings and we would walk half hour to hers on a Sunday to eat.
My eldest was born 1984.
My youngest 1992.
So these were those years.
But we went to the park and walks and took picnics.
It was very very hard.
Now im a millionaire..
But that came at a cost of being nearly murdered and ended up being severely disabled.
I'm just happy l was able to buy all three of us an house each and never worry about money again.

It’s the quote function that makes it confusing @Luddite26; it has clipped off the post you were responding to, so it looks like I’m disagreeing with you, when I am disagreeing with the first post you were responding to. We both definitely agree on this! 😆