Dd, 5, saying she doesn’t like the way she looks

[Bitwindyoutthere]

Yesterday, Dd and I were playing in the bedroom with her toys, she’s almost constantly pretending she wants to be someone else at the moment (has done this on and off since little, but lots recently) these are often boy characters/people too as she thinks they’re ‘Cooler’
She was looking in the mirror and then said she doesn’t like the way she looks and wants to look different and says she doesn’t like her face and hair (has long, curly hair, but wants it straight)
I just found it really upsetting she’d say this and at such a young age, is it normal? Don’t understand where it’s come from and what would you say in response to this?
She’s also been saying recently that she feels like she’s done something naughty but she doesn’t know what, she just has a feeling? She’ll asked me if she’s been naughty
Any idea what’s causing this change in behaviour? Feeling a bit worried about her, she’s generally happy and confident

Ok so the conscience (sp) thing is good - it's her inside voice telling her what's right and wrong. My daughter never mentioned it but my son did from a very young age. He has always been very sensitive to feelings. I told him that if he ever worries about things to listen to that voice - it's a great thing to have!

the change thing is also normal she's becoming aware if her sense of self! We can't change how we are born obviously but can make changes to hair etc. maybe practice some different styles with her?

School? Is there bullying about her hair?

I don’t think anyone’s said anything at school
Felt so sad hearing her say that, she never even thought about the way she looked before and is v pretty

I think it is common for kids to become more self aware and see the similarities and differences now, they may even have done it in school this year. I know mine has. He's never mentioned different skin tones until recently, and he has a visible birthmark on his face which has never bothered him but is not a big conversation regularly as he now sees it as being different to everyone.

I've been working with a charity and they said to celebrate everything to build confidence, to show them others who can be their role models and have similarities. To always speak positively of the things that make your child special. There are lots of books that talk about this type of thing if you look on amazon.

One top tip they gave me was the last thing I say to him as he walks into school should be somethibg positive about them. So you are so kind and caring to your little sister, or you're so smart and worked so hard last night on your reading so pretty much sending then off for the day with positive words and building their confidence. I've been doing it a week and he is now telling me when he is proud of himself yesterday for the first time completely unprompted which is very different to where we were just over a week ago.