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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel a birthday present that wasn’t wanted

5 replies

LimeZebra · 28/06/2024 11:54

DH’s birthday is coming up soon and after struggling with what to buy him as usual, I decided to order a PerfectDraft bundle. This isn’t something he would buy for himself and he’s talked previously about owning one one day.

I’d considered the logistics of this gift and done some research into how long each keg would last etc. There was loads of really helpful info out there and ultimately decided it would make a great present.

The other evening my DH returned home and sat next to me while I was scrolling on my phone. We were chatting and he asked me to look something up, I swiped around and revealed a notification from the company confirming the order for the gift.

I knew straight away he’d seen it as he went quiet and but didn’t address it myself. He let a few minutes go by before confirming that he had in fact seen the notification and ultimately told me all the reasons why he hasn’t bought it himself - fine. I’d heard these reasons before and considered them when deciding on the gift and thought we would be able to make it work but he was resistant to all my solutions.

He then said that he wouldn’t have anyone to enjoy it with which surprised and upset me.

It’s just us two in our house, we both drink. I don’t like beer, but will drink pretty much everything else. We both drink at home together, very rarely by ourselves so hearing that caught me off guard.

So I cancelled the order.

I hadn’t long placed it so it was easy to sort, and how could I still be happy gifting this to him hearing go on about how much he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it? But now he’s saying I’ve made him feel bad by making him out like he’s being ungrateful.

AIBU by cancelling the gift?

OP posts:
Branleuse · 28/06/2024 11:57

Don't be silly. Its better that you know now and didnt waste money. It was a nice idea, but you are both grown ups.
Ask him what he wants

Caroparo52 · 28/06/2024 12:03

Don't let him blame you into feeling guilty for him feeling guilty that he didn't want the gift. Just say it's done now and I'm happier that can buy you something you would really enjoy.
The End

ThistleWitch · 28/06/2024 12:10

You put time and effort in to getting something you thought he would like

Sadly - its not something he would like

No loser, you havent wasted money, he doesnt have to use something he doesnt want to

goneaway2 · 28/06/2024 13:26

Get him a Fizzics DraftPour instead. It's one can at a time. My husband loves his.

Elphame · 28/06/2024 13:37

That's such a shame. It seems odd that he wouldn't enjoy it without another beer drinker present

I must admit I had no idea such things existed so I had a look and that's DPs birthday present sorted!

DP and I drink different things and he'd easily get through 10 pints in a month on his own. I hate beer so he'd be the only one drinking it unless the DC come home for the weekend

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