Aibu about constant requests for favours?

[Coffee23]

I need to know if I am BU about this situation with my neighbour as my sister thinks I am being mean.

Sorry if this is long but I think the detail is relevant.

I personally think our neighbour is asking for too many favours and in my opinion some of them are going too far/not appropriate given we aren’t friends and say a passing hello at most.

About two years ago they knocked and said they are going on holiday and could we put their bins out, grab a parcel that was due so it wouldn’t sit outside all week, and gave us their number in case of emergency with the house. We agreed as we had just moved in and wanted to be nice and figured they could return the favour one day.

Since we exchanged numbers we have since been asked for multiple favours, about 2-3 times a month, ranging from taking a parcel in to feeding their cat to a lift to the airport (1 hour away - we said no).

We didn’t mind the small favours until they became more and more frequent and they just pushed the boundaries.

For example:

They text me once to ask if I could go round and feed their cat as their train was cancelled and it was already 7pm. They told me where the spare key was and I happily nipped round and did it.

But then they started to ask us every time they would be home late whether it was working late or going out. We started to lie and say we were out because it was so often.

We then got asked to feed the cat for a whole week while they went away because they didn’t want to pay for a sitter. I have suggested an automatic feeder and even given some names of a cat sitter my sister has used but nothing changes.

Aside from the constant requests to feed the cat, they also ask us for favours that in my opinion are just not the kind of ones you ask of a neighbour you barely know:

1. lifts to and from the train station multiple times (they have a car - a nicer one than us!)
2. to borrow items
3. to pick them up X or Y next time we’re in town or at Sainsbury’s
4. can we go round and show their cleaner where the spare key is

To name a few! We have said no to all of these but they just keep coming!!

To answer some questions I’m sure will come up -
No they are not old (late forties ish? We are late twenties)
No they are not disabled
No kids

So the AIBU is - AIBU to say no even when I am free and could help them. My sister thinks I should do the favour given I’m just sat in my house when they ask but for me it’s just too much and we never ask for any in return because to be honest, it wouldn’t cross my mind to!

And yes I would absolutely love to be blunt and tell them to stop asking but they are quite forceful and to be honest I think would make our lives a misery if we fell out. So for now, I just say a simple ‘sorry no, I’m not free’. I used to give context and say I’m at dinner or I’m going to the cinema but now I just say that. I’ve looked back at the messages and I’ve said that same line to the past 15 requests (since Jan) and it still hasn’t stopped them asking!

Anyone else had this and they eventually got the hint and left you alone!?!

I’ve asked my neighbours to feed the cat for 2 weeks before when we went abroad, I do everytime we go away! It literally takes 5 minutes at the most. However, the multiple requests to you are rude yes, especially the lifts. And does it matter if the cat is fed late because they their train is delayed? 😁

Ignore your twitter sister.
Continue to ignore your neighbours.
Buy a video bell so any possible petty behaviour is recorded.
Mute and archive the conversation.

Think of the money you are saving them
you need to be assertive and just bill them that will stop them I bet lol 😂

oh I had a neighbour like this. They have moved now and its only after they moved that their modus operandi became clear. They were pleasant to most of the neighbours, "close" to one lot and REALLY unpleasant to one lot which was me. It was very stressful for me and made me ill but regardless, I am not someone you can bully. When that failed, they rotated, became unpleasant to the lot they had been close to and became close to another lot. Sadly for them, the lady they chose to bully after me was also not bullyable and they put their foot in it with the new "close" lot. Shortly after that they moved. It looks like they are trying to make you the "close" lot. I advise you not to join the dance.

Oh that's a shame, I was going to say add up all the favours/time/money and ask for the same back 😂

If it was something I had to go out of my way to do then the answer would be no, unless it was for an emergency or picking up a prescription if they were ill in bed. I wouldn't have a problem with taking in parcels or picking something up in the supermarket if I was home or going shopping myself though 🤷‍♀️

I'd say no or ignore the message. Can't imagine anyone other than my partner asking me to pick something up from the shop. You're not their mum!

Why are you even bothering to answer the messages? Just ignore them

I only give airport lifts to people I really love.

I’d just ignore the messages-they are taking the piss. Give them your sister’s number if she’s so amazing at helping other people.