Do you feel like this after drinking?

[MumOf3Threee]

I rarely go out. I drink at home with a meal etc. last night was my first night out with my DD’s classmates mums. She’s year 1 but I’ve never been out with them. They all seem pleasant and lovely, conversation was flowing nicely and I thought I had a good time but I’ve woken up today dreading the school run and worried incase I said something stupid (I think I didn’t). I can’t keep thinking about it. I think I have social anxiety but I’m good at hiding it but in private I break down. DD is my middle child. I have a younger one and my eldest DS I have never been to any of the socials in his class so I’m kind of new to this. Any advice or words of wisdom? Not everyone was drinking as some mums were just on soft drinks but I was drinking. I kind of feel like this is why I don’t go to socials. I’m exactly same with friends and work meet-ups too, I analyse everything.

Yes, I also get The Fear - its one of the reasons that I hardly ever drink.

It's called hangxiety.

Google it, there are millions of us.

I think this is extremely common and is one of the reasons I don't drink at all anymore. I'm sure you were absolutely fine.

I actually think everyone has this. Try not to worry about it. It will be gone soon

I don't get that feeling, but I know it happens to lots of people. You'd know if you'd behaved badly, but you don't think you did so you didn't.

How much did you drink? Do you drink more than you felt comfortable with? If so then maybe have a plan for next time.

I found over the years that with work social situations I am better off having two glasses of wine then switching to soft drinks. Then I wouldn't have any concerns the next day.__

Well OP I have extreme social anxiety. Every social interaction I have on a daily basis is followed by rumination and worry about whether I made a fool of myself , said or did something stupid. It's resulted in me avoiding social interaction whererever possible and severely restricts my life.

If you only experience this problem after you have been drinking then it seems you have a good solution: go along to social events and don't drink alcohol.

Yes "hangxiety" is a very really thing, and not just if you've behaved badly. Anxiety and depression are listed as symptoms of a hangover on the NHS website. Don't fret, they'll mostly be feeling the same and will be relieved to see you and have a chat!

Ps - I don't think you have a drinking problem and I hope you had fun!

Hangxiety yes.

I’ve been known to wake at 4am absolutely paranoid about what I said.

It’s a thing.

Was coming on to say Hangxiety too! People have different names for it, that's how common the feeling is. I've heard it called Beer Fear, my friend calls it The Horrors.

It's horrible and it makes you wonder why we do it to ourselves, really 😂

Yes I'm the same and it is one of the reasons that I quit drinking alcohol.

do you have a hangover? how much did you drink?

It's quite common for light drinkers to experience this. Everyone probably does as they start out drinking. As you get more seasoned you can handle your drink better so you're more in control after a few glasses. Basically the two choices to avoid this feeling are avoid alcohol entirely (in social settings anyway) or push through it as you build up your tolerance levels.

Totally normal. It’s a common side effect of alcohol. I get it too.

Welcome to the Beer Fear. AKA Hangxiety.

Loving all the names so just throwing in there that in my early 20s I called it post-session depression.

You are definitely not alone.

Yep, happens to me every time! I wake up
cringing, even though I can’t remember exactly what I was saying. The first day or so, you’ll likely feel like you want to hide at drop off/pick up but it’ll pass.

If it helps, I actually have done/said some embarrassing things at school Mum drinks 🫣. Oversharing being the main one!

Yup "The Fear" it is horrible. I don't drink much but when I do and feel like this the next day I drink loads of water and also do deep breathing to calm the anxiety. It definitely gets worse the older we get. I have vague memories of having paranoia after big drinking sessions in my youth. I think it is where the hair of the dog came from to settle the anxiety.

I have this. I am usually reserved and a bit antisocial if I'm honest.
When I do go out it only takes 2 drinks for me to start yakking, and oversharing.
I try to drink water from when I feel lightheaded and stay up until I am sober to avoid the dreadful anxiety I feel when I wake up in the night that I have been a PITA and everyone hates me.
I have been known to watch movies back to back on the sofa all night rather than risk going to bed and having the terrors.

Thank you all!

@MummaMummaJumma please feel free to share the embarrassing things you have done or said!

I didn’t drink much - maybe 3 drinks. Issue is I was really trying to be friendly as I don’t know them and I’m anxious so I might have smiled or laughed too much if that makes sense. I remember all the conversations. I think I shouldn’t have shared one thing - about my childhood. It wasn’t a long convo just a 5 minute chat but it fitted in with what they were talking about so might not have been too inappropriate but I really wish I kept things non- serious

were you talking about a seriously abusive childhood? sexual abuse?

@trextape no nothing like that at all. It was an impediment I had as a child (stutter) that I was bullied about. I wish I didn’t share that. I

Sounds like it was a good night, can you message someone else you were out with to ease the anxiety?

I get this too, I can help it by having a glass of water for every drink and telling myself firmly before I go to sleep that I didn’t say or do anything stupid

Or most recently I just stick to the soft drinks!

oh heavens op
don’t worry about that

I keep running the conversations in my head!