Sick of it

[purplerobot]

The cost of living.

I earn £1865 after tax which sounds ok right? I also get £474 universal credit and £160 child benefit.

So can anyone explain how I simply cannot afford to live!!! I am sick of it!!!! I work full time and have 2 kids, never have any savings at all.

I don't go out ever. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't buy new clothes or anything at all. No nails or shoes or whatever. Nothing. I work and I stay home or visit friends.

I have credit cards maxed out that I pay the minimum on (£210 - will be paid off when I remortgage)

I have a mortgage £593 per month. Childcare £90 but that's included in universal credit.

My car is expensive at £175, I had no choice at the time as my old car blew its turbo and I had no money to fix it or replace it. I can't use public transport as I live semi-rurally so trains would cost more each month than the car to get to work and to get to the next city (I'm a carer for my sibling)

I spent fuck all on food. I try to stick to £50 per week. I don't eat lunch at work or buy coffees.

It's literally all bills. Nothing left over.

Never have any savings because I don't have anything left at the end of the month. Credit cards maxed out on things like school uniform, food, Xmas.

IM SICK OF IT.

How does anyone afford to live?

No child maintenance either as I'm widowed.

Sorry just needed to vent .

What do you eat?

OP I’m sorry you have been widowed and struggling with COL and hope things improve in our country soon to make life much fairer. In the meantime, can you look into getting paid carers allowance to care for your brother? It’s £81.90 pw if you do 35 hours pw plus.

Also is there any chance your employer would let you work from home some of the time which would save your diesel bill?

I heartily recommend the Martin Lewis website forums they have incredibly inspiring tips on getting debt/mortgage free. £50:pw on food is incredible! You have done extremely well to manage on that. Can you use food bank, community fridge, Olio etc would that be near enough to you?

Good luck and hopefully our fuel bills are meant to be reducing now.

Not much I can add - please ensure you have claimed tax back on union subs. You can do this through inland revenue gateway site, also working from home and an allowance for laundering any work uniform, etc. up to 6 years of tax back on subs might be a small but useful sum.

You may also qualify for thw warm home discount - a kind of watered down version of the social tariffs that utility companies used to offer.

If caring for your brother can you claim carers allowance? Could he contribute to the fuel costs of travelling to him? Vinted is good for selling & re buying kids clothes and outgrown toys. What part of the country are you in?

Carers allowance is only if you care for 35 hours or more, I do much less than this.

I seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. I earn too much for help but too little to live.

I don't get warm home discount, social tariffs, free school meals, uniform vouchers or literally any help at all aside from a UC Topup.

This is where our country lets us down.

I work from home 1 day a week (3 days in school holidays to help with childcare) but unfortunately long term I can’t do more than this due to the type of work I do.

I'm on the cheapest of everything and literally check tariffs every week. It's ridiculous.

I'm so fed up. Got paid this morning and I've got nothing left.

I can't take the kids on nice days out or holidays like everyone else. Can't even afford a soft play.

I sat down and wrote every single monthly bill, and there's nothing I can cut out (except Amazon which I cancelled today).

Wages are too stagnant. My salary used to be enough for a family. It's ridiculous.

I can't get a second/evening job as I can't afford childcare, no family to help. I already work full time. I'm paid more than I should be for my role.

Just got to bide my time I suppose as I'm meant to start uni in September and that might help a bit.

Do not cancel gap insurance. PP must have it mixed with something else. It's a god send!

Change the internet to the UC one if you can. Unless your pet is sickly, I'd cancel the insurance and you must be able to get a lesser life insurance??? That's a lot! Mine is £18 I think and it pays the mortgage each month if I get sick (1000 odd) and pays it off if I die.
Water seems a lot but I know will take til next year to reduce if you reduce your use. The best bet is shop smarter. Go every Friday, get cheapest or deals and fine a cheaper version?

Don't feel you need to justify the tax as not your fault, to Mumsnet. It's ok to owe, it's not immoral to be skint. We work hard and the cost has gone up at a different rate to our earnings. Discuss if you can spread it as that is a lot.

I earn a similar amount without your additional benefits and have a person to share 50% of the bills and pay the lions share of fun and I still spend all my money so please know how well you have it all together!

The thing I have noticed is if you do cut down on bills, the money still vanishes so I don't even bother anymore, within reason.

A few things that have helped me:

Collecting nectar points on shops and fuel. Luckily Sainsburys usually has the cheapest diesel nearby and I sometimes get vouchers for double or triple points on fuel. Sainsbury’s can be expensive but if you avoid branded bits it’s comparable to elsewhere. If I collect points all year I usually have around £50 at Christmas for extra treats. The other thing is using the Airtime app. I haven’t paid for my phone bill for a couple of months because of special top up offers and introductory offers, etc.

Also, I have a cashback current account, so pay £2 a month but get around £12 a month cashback on direct debits for gas, electric, water, phone bills, broadband, etc.

When your home insurance is due for renewal, as well as the comparison sites, get a quote directly from your bank because mine came back as so much cheaper when I went to them direct and there was no difference between paying annual and monthly. Also I have a 0% credit card for car insurance so I can pay the cheaper annual charge and pay it off monthly (although you have to be strict with this).

I pay council tax over 10 months so that I have February and March to pay off Christmas and then have a more comfortable month. Might not work for you but it feels so great not having to pay for those two months.

Random suggestion regarding holidays, but have you looked at house swaps?

Op instead of a ring doorbell have you heard of a blink system. Same idea but no subscription.

Are you claiming, or entitled to Widow's Pension, now called Bereavement Support Payment?

The new widow’s pension: Bereavement Support Payment | unbiased.co.uk | Unbiased

Did your husband have a pension that you can access?

Just wondering if you're receiving everything that you're entitled to.

Are you on water rates or a water meter?

This is so depressing to read, I want to hug you.

In addition to some of the suggestions already made (apart from the little things that make life a bit more bearable), would you have room for a lodger?

It may not be feasible but I just thought I'd throw it out as a potentially tax free income.

Thank you everyone, it's nice to feel understood!

I will look into the blink system thank you!

I got bereaved benefits for 18 months after he died. It used to be until the youngest child turned 18 (she was only 2 at the time) but they changed the law literally a few months before he died. I claimed his pension but there wasn't much, although maybe I need to look at his pensions from his old jobs? Not sure if he paid into any but I will check actually!

Good luck with checking the pensions.

How old are the kids and how much debt are you in?

Not sure about monthly benefits on a bank account as mine got swallowed but I change bank accounts as often as I can without causing an issue to get the payouts. £175 for first direct (not a great account) and NatWest

Hi OP,

Your transport costs are insane. Does your workplace do a salary sacrifice lease car arrangement? I'm looking into one and it would be £350 a month for a fully electric, which includes all insurance and servicing.

Things will get better, you'll pay off your cards and get rid of our council tax debt. Hang on in there!

If you're not in a contract, look at reducing your mobile bill. Could probably get both for close to £10 a month (Lebara/giff gaff etc)

Can you reduce your life insurance payment?

Maybe cut down kids birthdays to £100 each

Do you need Amazon?

Are you paying interest on your credit cards? Could you balance transfer to a 0% interest for X years deal?

I live rurally. My internet is £28 a month with
Vodafone

Cancel gym

Could you lease a (newer) car for a similar amount to what you're paying now? You could get maintenance included too

Why do people think £200 a month for diesel/petrol is insane? I think that's rather cheap. I easily spend £100 per week, I do drive to do home visits for work but £50 a week like the OP when she's rural is cheap to me.

Gas/elect & broadband seems very expensive?the rest seems normal(at todays prices anyway. Your pet insurance sounds v reasonable. I would ditch the gym & try & get utilities & broadband cheaper.

Phone contracts I would buy a Back Market phone & get £6 monthly sims too.

1500 miles a month is a lot. I live in London so take public transport or walk and rarely use my car so it seemed a huge amount to me.

Someone asked upthread if your brother should not be giving you some fuel money if you're caring for him - does he get Attendance Allowance?

I agree unfortunately that the small savings you make will just get absorbed and will make little difference. If you've just cancelled Amazon Prime can you put that £9 a month in a separate account and use it for a nice day out at the end of the year? Otherwise you've lost a nice thing and you'll get nothing to show for it.

Im with Octopus for my energy and they've just said they're reducing my DD from £200 pm to £127 - can you check whether yours might be coming down?

I grew up poor, in a rural area, to a single mum (not widowed, just a shit dad who didn't pay maintenance), I knew we were poor but we had a clean warm home and a lot of freedom as kids. You're doing a great job holding things together don't forget that.

Because the total cost of her car is significant in relation to her income.

I don’t understand how you get UC, I earn half what you do, I’m physically disabled and I don’t qualify. It’s demoralising reading these sorts of posts here. I’m glad you get the help you need, but I wish the system was fairer and less difficult to understand.

Do you get PIP?
I was on tax credits and they migrated me to UC. I have 2 young kids, 1 in childcare. I'm widowed, so no child maintenance. They deduct a lot from it for my earnings. You should definitely look into it as if you have kids you should be getting it.

Unfortunately not, as I'm not employed by the NHS even though we have an NHS contract.