To still be going

[Chocolatelover223]

My mum booked a holiday for me, my mum and my sister. It cost her about 3.5 grand. My sisters daughter is struggling at school with ADHD and my sister has decided she can't come. Apparently she thinks me and my mum also shouldn't go. AIBU to still go?

Your sister needs to get a grip and realise the universe doesn't revolve around her. Of course you should still go.

No, enjoy your holiday!!

How bizarre! Does she have form?

Have a fab holiday! Say bye to the sister x

have a lovely time!

Of course you should still go - especially as your mum paid for it!

Assuming your sister is going to offer some cash / apologise for deciding not to go?

Bad timing for her but it's not your fault.

I'd definitely still go, what does mum think? Hopefully she agrees with you and won't pander to your sister

I assume the ADHD daughter was supposed to be staying at home but now needs someone to stay with her?

If its not possible to get a refund then of course you should go! It's unfortunate your sister can't go but that's life.

It would be very unfair on you and your mum to miss a holiday because your sister and niece can't go.
What is it about your niece's ADHD that is preventing her going on holiday ? Can you as a family help in some way that could make it easier ?
If you are anything like me I expect you may be really looking forward to a holiday 🌻💛

I hope your sister’s on Mumsnet so she can see how unreasonable she’s being.

Yes, this!!

Is your sister suggesting that the holiday be postponed to a time that might work better for her? Or just cancelled altogether?

No apology, no offer to pay anything. No recognition my mums losing over a grand.

YANBU but I feel for the niece. My DD15 has ADHD and she always loves holidays, school is so hard for them with all the noise etc

Hope you still go!

My neice wasn't ever going. Just the 3 of us

It’s fair that she’s prioritising her daughter if she is struggling.

It is NOT fair that she thinks your Mum should lose 3.5k and the both of you should miss out on a holiday just because she can’t go.

Go, have fun, bring her back a raffia donkey.

Are you not meant to go because you and your mum are meant to be in a state of mourning for your niece and regard it as so upset that it's heartless of you to enjoy yourselves? Your niece hasn't just died - she has some SEN issues like literally thousands of other kids - let's keep a sense of perspective!

And frankly if your sister is dealing with a DC with SEN she probably needs a holiday away from her more than anyone, assuming the dad or similar is there to take care of her.

I struggled at school with combined ADHD (undiagnosed at that point though) - not sure my mum cancelling a hol with her fam would have helped me because, erm, kids with ADHD pretty much perma-struggle with school. But appreciate your sister wants to be there for her daughter in this situation - in which case she should be offering to pay the cash for her wasted place and telling you two to Facetime her at some point so she can remotely drink a sangria on the sofa with you 😁

I’m a bit nonplussed at her assumption that you two would drop everything because her kid’s struggling at school too.

Okay thanks. Being made to feel awful about going.

That's bonkers. It's sad she can't join you but expecting you all to stay is selfish and ridiculous.

so were you going on holiday without the grandchild? or was the grandchild also going?

i assume your mum has paid for this holiday? and i assume your mum is more than happy for the pair of you to still go?

there must be another reason why sister doesn't want to go...

She's now come after changing her mind at the very last minute but is so snappy I sort of wish she hadn't!

Offload here if it stops you from stabbing her by the pool!

Well she’s awful, and if I were your mum I’d want my grand back. Go, and don’t give her a second thought.