To cut of contact with sister?

[skittles998]

I have never been particularly close to my sister, she is 10 years older than me and used to bully me when I was younger.

Even in adulthood and now in my 30s she is still really nasty.

I got back from a day visit to my parents and she commented on my weight.

I used to be a size 6/8 and now I am a size 12 and she asked me "So are you a size 12 now"?.

She obviously said this to point out my weight gain which really upset me.

She is a size 20 herself so I don't see what she would get out of making such a nasty comment and I have never once commented on her weight.

Me and my best friend went to Orlando Disneywold and she told me "it was for kids and to grow up" this was before I had my kids.
This is just the type of comments she makes all the time.

She is always making digs at me and now she is demanding to see my kids (I have never allowed her to meet them due to her verbal abuse when I was growing up).
My kids are toddlers and I do not want her near them or ever meet them.

I just find talking to her brings up such negative emotions and the child in me feels afraid to stand up to her which is crazy as usually I stand up for myself... just not to her.

My parents tell me to "forget it and move on" but I can't.
Her abuse really affected me and still does to this day.
I don't ever invite her to my house and only ever see her at my parents.
I don't bring the kids as my parents will just come to mine.

Am I being unreasonable to cut off contact with her?

YANBU. I have a horrible older sister I haven’t spoken to in the better part of 10 years. This is a person who made my wedding all about her and her relationship status, told me she actively turned a childhood friend against me as if it was a positive thing, and treated me horribly when I was young. I have no regrets.

YANBU at all

She sounds like a nasty jealous piece of work who got a chip on her shoulder because you had the audacity to be born and she was no longer centre of attention.

From what you describe it sounds like childish sibling rivalry that got seriously out of hand because it wasnt pulled up by your parents at the time, so she's just continued it into adulthood

Why on earth does she think she has the right to access to your kids? Shes not their father, you two are not close, and shes been nasty and abusive towards you for your whole life, nobody in their right mind would hand their kids over to someone like that

I'm so sorry you went through all that, and I'm sorry your parents have minimised the abuse. You did not deserve it then and you dont deserve it now 💐

Of course YANBU. She sounds horrible. No one is obligated to spend time with toxic people, regardless of family relationship.

Yanbu. At all. I would have done it a long time ago.

You don’t have to put up with someone being horrible to you because you are related. I haven’t spoke. To my older sister in over 20 years and made it clear to my parents that I would not visit when she is there. They got over it and eventually understood when she started being horrible to them too

You need to put your mental health first. She is a trigger for you due to past and present behaviour and you owe her nothing.

@Lifeislikeaboxofmatches thank you for your kind words.

It is difficult as I feel unable to stand up to her.
I would just rather cease contact with her as any type of interaction just makes me relive bad memories.

She feels so entitled to see my kids as if it is her given right and will keep asking "when are we seeing the kids"?.

I cut off my younger sister, she's absolutely vile

I feel so much lighter and freer than I've felt in years

She adds nothing positive to you life so no need to see her imo. I don't see my dps for similar reasons.

I always stand by the fact that just because they are family doesn't mean you have to tolerate toxic behaviour.

My parents tell me to "forget it and move on" but I can't. Her abuse really affected me and still does to this day.

You can't forget it because it's ongoing. If it was something 10 years ago that hasn't been repeated since, maybe. But even if you 'forget it', she won't. She'll just carry on with the digs and comments. And you shouldn't have to forget it every time, that's letting her get away with it.

Given the pressure from your parents what's the family dynamic? Is it golden child/scapegoat? You've obviously mentoioned it to them, apart from the let it go what else did they say?

You don’t need that in your life OP.
Stop contact with her and enjoy your life.
You'll probably regret not doing it sooner!

I cut my sibling off and it was the best thing I could have done. It is such a relief to not have the drama and upset in my life. She moans to family that she has no idea why I do not speak to her, which is a pile of horseshit. She knows damn well what the issues were.

I have never regretted it.

I haven't spoken to my sister for two and a half years. She one year older than me.
As a child she broke my arm, nose and finger. She's a nasty bully.
Selfish and greedy.
She accused me of stealing from our late father and later gave my cautioned stalker my address. That I can't forgive as she knew what he did to my daughter.
Her adult DC won't side with her and even when our young brother died last year she let me pay for the flowers.
But you know what I have no one. I speak to my cousin all the time so that's something but it is heartbreaking when a sibling treats you like shit.
My parents would have been appalled.

Definitely. She sounds vile