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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nursery staff blanking

4 replies

Zozo1990 · 26/06/2024 23:28

Hiya everyone,

I just want to know wwyd if a member of staff who works with your nursery aged child blanks you everyday. She never makes eye contact, will look down when I walk right past her, never acknowledges me when I go into the classroom, even when I have opened the door for her - she will look to the side or on the ground, she will never say morning or even a smile. I find it bizarre. I've had a couple of brief conversations just about how DD is doing and I can't think for the life of me what I've done wrong. The other staff in upper school are so lovely and courteous, my other childrens' teachers wave to me from afar so it's really odd that eyfs staff in general are standoffish but this particular one is always blanking me. I've seen her talk to other parents and smile at them and conversate. She always stares from a distance but then looks away when I look at her to say hi or smile. I'm definitely not being paranoid, it's pretty obvious and happens on a daily basis. I've just kind of accepted that is how she treats me all year but I've just found out she will be having my daughter in the reception year too and it's just made me feel so anxious. The main teacher who will be taking my dd is lovely, we call her Miss Sunshine because my dd says her smile is like sunshine (so cute). She's lovely and I did confide in her today that this member of staff is behaving like this and she said I should complain as the head would definitely want to know if staff are behaving like this as it's a representation of the school and he takes such things seriously. The problem is me, I feel embarrassed to raise this. Do you think the teacher is right?

OP posts:
spirit20 · 26/06/2024 23:38

I'd say if the other teacher said to complain, then I would. It's more than likely that the other teacher has also noticed it, and finds it unprofessional, but it's not really their place to say it to them.

Although to contradict myself, I'm wondering if she has some form of ND or communication issues that means she isn't doing it voluntarily or on purpose. But then if you say she is perfectly normal around other parents, this may not be the case.

Maybe try engaging her in conversation one more time, and if she still acts like that, flag it with the Head?

GrumpyOldCrone · 26/06/2024 23:45

I’m not sure I’d frame it as a complaint, but I think I’d want to speak to head about it, just to try to get the situation sorted out. It does sound quite bizarre.

Zozo1990 · 26/06/2024 23:46

I've tried several times to make eye contact or talk to her, for example, I'll always say good morning or hi, even when she looks away from me and then she'll kind of just give a forced smile and say hi, but NOT look at me. I have given up saying hi now. She's not ND as I have seen her chatting to other parents and staff.

OP posts:
Klampo · 26/06/2024 23:47

I think it would be reasonable to ask. Be curious rather than complaining.

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