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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Here we go again

5 replies

Lowcarbisdifficult · 26/06/2024 19:32

I became friends with a man at work, absolutely zero interest on my side, he's 9 years younger and has a girlfriend, and even if those things weren't true he's not for me.

Worked together since January and then about months ago we started chatting more, I thought it was great, it's nice to have a male perspective and he was easy to talk to.

Obviously no flirting or anything whatsoever, I was actually telling him about a man I liked and he was giving advice.

Now he's faded me out. Before anyone says anything, it's normal to have friendly chats on Teams, nobody was saying anything inappropriate and pretty much everybody at our workplace chats on Teams.

Basically just started taking hours to reply to each message, writing very short replies and so I've waited to see if he does again. Been a few weeks and nothing.

The convo was balanced, I wasn't just chatting about myself. If I see him around he seems friendly but doesn't talk to me first anymore unless I talk to him.

His gender is irrelevant really, I'd feel the same if it were a woman. Just a bit of a shame when this happens, ahh well. Any ideas?

OP posts:
Lowcarbisdifficult · 26/06/2024 19:34

A few months ago* i meant.

He used to write longer messages on Teams and then just suddenly wrote very short, dry answers.
Like you can just tell when someone's trying to shut down the convo. Our workload is fixed so it won't be that he's got more or something.

OP posts:
PlutarchHeavensbee · 26/06/2024 19:34

Maybe he’s got shit going on in his life that you don’t know about? Could be family issues, illness… and he just doesn’t have the time or the headspace?

FirstNameSecondName · 26/06/2024 19:34

Maybe his girlfriend had an issue with the messaging so he stopped.

Lowcarbisdifficult · 26/06/2024 19:36

Re the stuff going on, it could indeed be.
That's a good point about the girlfriend. I always feel a bit wary of being good friends with a man who's in a relationship. We went to a couple of work social events and I always said to him it would be great to meet her, and asked about her.

OP posts:
Lowcarbisdifficult · 26/06/2024 22:22

It's hard to have male friends sometimes, I mean like close friendships, not just casual acquaintances which is no issue. It's a shame.

OP posts:
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