Have you or anyone you know recovered from BPD?

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I still struggle with my emotions. I feel things so strongly, I cannot cope if I feel abandoned, I lose all sense of myself and act in irresponsible ways, self destructive ways. I’m now approaching 40 and no better than in my twenties. Makes me sad.

Have you received any treatment? I understand that DBT (? The correct term) can be really used for people who really want to change but it takes time and isn’t easy or easily accessible.

If you have done any recovery-focused work before you will know that recovery is not linear and will look different for everyone. Recovery is not the same as being cured, it is being able to look very your life the way you want to despite having a condition. I that sense, yes, I know plenty of people who recovered from BPD with appropriate support.

Absolutely. Unfortunately with the NHS in the current climate, waiting lists for treatment are likely to take years. I suggest working on yourself in the meantime and getting on the waiting list as soon as possible.

Ultimately DBT Skills Therapy is likely what you'll need. They teach you the tools that you currently lack which will help you manage your emotions. Mindfulness is a very big factor!

I had group DBT 10 years ago. Alongside seeing a psychiatrist, a low dose of medication and a lot of hard work, I was able to go it alone.

Thankfully, I have no longer held the BPD diagnosis for many years. There absolutely is light at the end of the tunnel OP!

Books I recommend -

Mindfulness: Finding Peace In A Frantic World

Stop Walking On Eggshells - This is actually a book written for those on the other side of the fence. I bought it for a close relative and I read it myself, it's rather enlightening to see how my diagnosis affected my loved ones.

My favourite form of Mindfulness was adult colouring books. The Mandala ones are nice (get yourself some really pretty gel pens) and the swear word ones are cool too.

Therapy will help you delve (although there's no delving too deeply, for this you will want something called IPTS - but it's a mindfuck, I only managed 2 sessions before I realised it wasn't for me) into why you feel the way you do and what you can do to manage your emotions in the moment.

I have every faith that with the right motivation, support and therapy, you will beat the diagnosis and find your peace. All the best OP!

BPD is often misdiagnosed instead of autism, especially in adult females. Do you think perhaps you could be autistic instead? DBT is still helpful but maybe it’s also about understanding more about yourself. There is often trauma from being undiagnosed while younger and perhaps it would enable you to be more gentle on yourself?

Just to caveat my previous message - There's no cure for it, but you'll beat the symptoms. Because you'll understand and learn the right ways to manage your emotions, you'll know what to do when you go into fight or flight mode and your reactions to things will be vastly different.

It requires a lot of hard work and dedication and there's absolutely no quick fix. You will need to work on yourself for years to come yet. One day though, things will get much easier. You'll think about things in a different way and you will hopefully rarely experience the symptoms you have been experiencing. You will of course experience ups and downs throughout life still, nothing is plain sailing, but you will learn how to ride the waves.

You've already reached that first hurdle, you can only go up from here 😊

Yes, and without treatment - I haven't had an episode in close to five years now. Unfortunately I can't really explain how because I don't understand it myself, but two things that definitely helped were 1) accepting that I can sometimes have strong emotions and it's just a part of my personality, not something to hide or be ashamed of, and 2) getting really really into some academic and creative pursuits so that all the pent up energy had somewhere healthy to go instead of being directed at another person. I have no idea whether that's helpful to other people or not, but it's my answer to the question.

@imip is correct, current research/thinking around BPD is that it’s a female autism presentation. Might be worth a conversation with your GP if you are interested in being assessed.

https://sachscenter.com/autism-vs-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-in-women/#:~:text=Many%20women%20are%20misdiagnosed%20with,women%20by%20the%20medical%20establishment.