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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Concert Etiquette

199 replies

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 13:34

I have spent years going to many concerts, and it's getting shitter and shitter with people killing the atmosphere who just want to film it on their phones. I went to see Pink last night, and I can't believe so many people just want to sit there quietly at this type of concert! Is this just life now? We just accept that atmospheres are being killed so people have Instagram worthy videos?

So in this situation, what do you do? Do you stay seated and quiet so you're respecting the people around you, do you stand anyway and dance and enjoy the show how you want to?

Wouldn't it be better if venues offered areas that you weren't allowed to stand in? So I know you get standing tickets but not everyone can get hold of them, does that mean they should either sit for the whole show, or follow what's happening around them?

OP posts:
Boxina · 26/06/2024 18:37

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 26/06/2024 18:10

UK audiences are great crowds at concerts imo. It's about the experience, hearing an artist interpret their songs slightly differently (ideally) and having a give and take with the audience.

It's not meant to be the same as sitting on your couch and hitting play on a greatest hits album...

Exactly.

thing47 · 26/06/2024 18:39

Fjorduk · 26/06/2024 17:54

I went to the Foo Fighters concert on Saturday and there was a family in front of me, the mum was standing all the time blocking my vision, a lot of the times she wasn't even dancing, just standing there drinking her beer. I think when you have seated seats you should sit for most of the concert, otherwise get standing tickets. If you cannot get standing tickets just sit on your chair like the rest of us. I still sang, clapped and danced (sitting down!), I had a great time!

But the London Stadium doesn't have any rules about not standing in seated areas so the family weren't doing anything wrong! And the mum is perfectly entitled to just stand there, she doesn't have to conform to what you think she should or shouldn't be doing, I'm afraid.

As you admit you still had a great time, so what does it matter?

Caterpillarshoes · 26/06/2024 18:39

Blouson · 26/06/2024 13:54

The concept of sitting at a gig is just bizarre. As for phone users, just fk them, who cares if youre in their way!

Because often its dark so the focus is on the lights on the stage but you can see little luminous things all around you which stops you being immersed in the moment.

Magnastorm · 26/06/2024 18:39

I absolutely fucking hate people who record gigs. Nobody behind you wants to watch the gig through a phone, and nobody actually watches them afterwards. So fucking pointless.

I don't really like sitting either, but appreciate how annoying it must be for those who have to sit to have people standing up in front of them. Not sure what the solution is though, other than no stand sections which probably is not always possible or really enforceable in a lot of venues.

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 18:40

jmh740 · 26/06/2024 18:34

I went to pink on Monday with my friend who has limited mobility. At one point she sang a slow song and everyone was sat down except for the very large man in front on my friend. I asked him if he could just sit down for one song so she could see and he told me to f off. then leaving at the end a woman in the aisle refused at first to let us pass saying we needed to wait till she went(we were the only ones leaving the aisle, we went a few mins early so my friend who walks with a stick could try and avoid the rush) and the woman pushed me when she did finally let us passed.

Sorry you had a shit experience, that's awful. Although one or two people have misread me in the comments, I'd literally never stand in anyones way and I totally get that there is going to be reasons that people can't stand.

OP posts:
Longma · 26/06/2024 18:43

Blouson · 26/06/2024 13:54

The concept of sitting at a gig is just bizarre. As for phone users, just fk them, who cares if youre in their way!

If you have mobility or joint issues, or various other ailments or health conditions then sitting, for at least part of the time, is a necessity.

I went to a concert last summer having just recovered from pneumonia. I'd paid a lot of money for the tickets and had excellent views so I was keen to go if I could. However, I did have to sit for a lot of the show - much more than I would do normally.

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to stand for the entire duration of a concert, for many varied reasons.

TheMessThatYouLeftWhenYouWentAway · 26/06/2024 18:44

I also saw the Foos last week from a seated section. Ideally there would be sections which are all seated and those which are more flexi. I used to love being in the pit at gigs but at 45 with a weak bladder, those days are well past me. Doesn't mean I want to sit still though. The funny thing is that I could stand for hours without being uncomfortable but I wouldn't choose standing these days because I wouldn't be able to get in and out and back to my chosen vantage point. Also I've witnessed far too much aggro with folk pushing in and just can't be doing with that anymore. I'm also under 5 foot so unless I get early to get a spot right at the front (and I can't keep that due to menopausal bladder) then I'm not seeing a thing and definitely don't see the point of spending upwards of £100 to hear some music while staring at someone's back.

The seated section is tiered which means that if everyone stays seated, I get a great view and if everyone stands, I still get a great view. And I'm guaranteed that same view if I leave to go to the loo. I can see the problem though for those who can't stand at all, but also don't qualify for the disabled section so I, personally, would only stand if everyone else around is doing so, and the people behind don't mind. That did mean that I was seated for the whole Foos gig though when I was itching to get up. The folk in front did get up during The Pretender so I stood up too but I heard a clear "FFS" from behind so sat back down even though I was annoyed that my view was therefore blocked for that part of the gig. The standing people noticed though so sat down for the rest of it.

I noticed that standing or sitting seemed to happen organically in sections with everyone following each others lead. It seemed that the entire block next to us were on their feet the whole time whereas our block were sedate and seated. Still rubbish for any individuals who needed to be seated amongst the sea of standing folk though, which does show the need for a fully seated section or two. Also everyone in all blocks seemed to get up for the entirety of the encore.

I've been to gigs at murrayfield where the higher seating levels were strictly seated so it can be done although I guess this is for safety rather than comfort and the problem is that anyone with mobility issues probably wouldn't book the high, steep seats.

As for phones - I totally agree that a phone held overhead blocks the view even more and vasts seas of phones being held up is ridiculous. If people are able to take photos and videos from chest/eye level without taking up any more space then fair enough.

The only bad thing for me at the Foos were the teenagers in front (the ones who had briefly stood up) and the adults to my right who both clearly got bored during the songs they didn't know so were talking loudly and even playing back videos they had taken of previous songs at full volume. Totally rude and unnecessary.

Singing at a gig like Foos, Pink or TS is a given though and the sound of the crowd can give goosebumps. It's also clear that the artists feed off the energy of the crowd. Obviously not appropriate during theatre style concerts though, or for certain quieter, slower artists.

And don't get me started on singing along at the theatre. That's never ever appropriate.

OrchardBlack · 26/06/2024 18:45

I agree OP and was saying just this to DP when I came back from Girls aloud last week.
Amazing concert, absolutely loved it. Left my phone in a locker, I had treated a dear friend of mine to her ticket but she spent the whole time filming it. Luckily we were v near the front or it would have been much like my experience at James Arthur the week before where I'm watching him perform through about 6 camera phones.

I kind of feel for the performers as well, seeing it from their perspective there's no way they can feel as connected to the audience members.

I also wonder - does anyone actually watch the videos back?? It's nice to look at one or two but these ones that are 10 mins long from the moment the artist comes out on stage and basically just shows a blob on stage and 50 other recording screens - who's watching that??

Longma · 26/06/2024 18:45

KrisAkabusi · 26/06/2024 14:03

If you have seated tickets, you sit down. If you want to stand, you get standing tickets. Simple.

That's not the rules at most concerts though.

At most concerts, in my experience, you are allowed stand in seated areas and, again from my experience, the majority of people do stand and/or dance for at least parts of the show.

BotterMon · 26/06/2024 18:51

Agree no filming at concerts same as at the cinema. It's really annoying to look at 000's of phone screens and the worse was a woman who was facetiming whilst filming and screaming to some of her mates. What was the point of her being there?

DH hates sitting down at concerts so we get standing places if possible.

wonderstuff · 26/06/2024 19:01

At TS on Sunday the woman next to me had 2 phones, one to film the concert and the other to film herself watching the concert! Almost everyone in the seated area was up dancing for most of the show and the atmosphere was good. I think at a concert it’s always fine to get up and dance if you want to, it is a bit rubbish if you’re the only one who wants to though. My biggest bug bear is people screaming, person next to me screamed the whole way through Billie Eilish last year, it was all I could hear!

Rowgtfc72 · 26/06/2024 19:02

Going to see Madness on Saturday . Facebook has lit up because it's advertised as standing only. People are planning on taking blankets to sit on and asking people to sit down!
I predict it won't end well.

IsadoraQuagmire · 26/06/2024 19:03

WindsurfingDreams · 26/06/2024 18:26

I have a disability, I can't stand up for any length of time (but I also don't meet any "registered disabled" threshold as my condition is very rare and fluctuating) . Sorry that you find me bizarre

Yes, the whole tone of this thread is unpleasant and ableist.

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 19:06

IsadoraQuagmire · 26/06/2024 19:03

Yes, the whole tone of this thread is unpleasant and ableist.

No its not, it's not at all what was meant by it. I said in my opening post about designated seating only parts being a good solution. Designated seating, designated standing, and then everyone in between. And I would never stand and block someone's view as I don't know their reasons for not standing. I do however think its shite when hundreds of people are sat there quietly watching a concert through their phone. Absolutely nothing unpleasant about me saying that. It just kills the mood.

OP posts:
OrangeSlices998 · 26/06/2024 19:15

My bigger issue is the filming. Take a photo of the stadium the stage sure, film a bit of a song you love. But there were people around us at TS in Liverpool who filmed almost the entire time either the stage or themselves dancing and I’m in the background and felt so self conscious! Just put your bloody phone down and be in the moment. Must be so weird for performers to look out at the crowd and just see a sea of outstretched arms holding their phones

Ruperims · 26/06/2024 19:17

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 19:06

No its not, it's not at all what was meant by it. I said in my opening post about designated seating only parts being a good solution. Designated seating, designated standing, and then everyone in between. And I would never stand and block someone's view as I don't know their reasons for not standing. I do however think its shite when hundreds of people are sat there quietly watching a concert through their phone. Absolutely nothing unpleasant about me saying that. It just kills the mood.

Not you, but there has been posts on here that have been, one of which directly aimed at me

summersofdoom · 26/06/2024 19:18

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 17:01

You didn't simply put your opinion forward. You turned it into telling me I must screech at a concert, as if you know what I do at a concert. You told me to do karaoke instead, but clearly don't like it when someone answers you back. You have no idea how I acted last night, and the whole reason I posted was because I acted ridiculously quiet and boring fitting in with the crowd around me as the last thing I am is obnoxious. But clearly you know better, yawn.

thank you for proving my point exactly 😉

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 19:20

@OrangeSlices998 I agree, just really odd behaviour. Those people will likely look back one day and realise they maybe should have lived in the moment instead.

OP posts:
summersofdoom · 26/06/2024 19:21

Absolutely nothing unpleasant about me saying that. It just kills the mood.

it might kill YOUR mood. They are obviously enjoying themselves. They don't buy a ticket for the sole purpose of entertaining you.

And again, what you think is appropriate behaviour might be a pain in the arse for everybody else.

To your question " are you unreasonable"? Yes, yes you are.

LocalHobo · 26/06/2024 19:26

At TS on Sunday the woman next to me had 2 phones, one to film the concert and the other to film herself watching the concert!
Oh wow!!! This is incredible.
Last time I saw U2 my segment was the only one that stayed seated. I would have liked to stand at some point but there was almost a force field around us, and no one did.
At Billie Eilish, everyone turned to the row behind to ask if they were ok if they stood. Very sweet.

I8toys · 26/06/2024 19:28

I don't understand why you stand in a seated area that is what standing is for. I also go for standing because I can for a couple of hours. Personally I detest arenas - the cost and watching it through a screen. Much prefer small up and coming bands in smaller venues. My bugbear is talking throughout it. Those who are completely uninterested and dragged along by their mates. Shut the fuck up and listen to the band. I also hate filming as well. Live in the fucking moment.

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 19:29

summersofdoom · 26/06/2024 19:21

Absolutely nothing unpleasant about me saying that. It just kills the mood.

it might kill YOUR mood. They are obviously enjoying themselves. They don't buy a ticket for the sole purpose of entertaining you.

And again, what you think is appropriate behaviour might be a pain in the arse for everybody else.

To your question " are you unreasonable"? Yes, yes you are.

I ignored your last one but yet you've carried on. No one is interested in your opinion, you love silence at a concert and people sitting still, we get it. I won't be answering you anymore it's just so tiresome.

OP posts:
Ruperims · 26/06/2024 19:31

No one is interested in your opinion is a bit harsh

summersofdoom · 26/06/2024 19:33

Siennaa · 26/06/2024 19:29

I ignored your last one but yet you've carried on. No one is interested in your opinion, you love silence at a concert and people sitting still, we get it. I won't be answering you anymore it's just so tiresome.

For someone who isn't interested, you have a lot to say 😂

Don't ask people if you are BU if you get miffed when they disagree with you.

Newname71 · 26/06/2024 19:34

SquashPenguin · 26/06/2024 14:21

I go to a lot of metal gigs and if I can get seated tickets I do. Not because I want to stay seated for the whole thing but because I want a better view, I’m also long past the days of mosh pits! I like to have a seat and not have to queue. If the majority stand up from their seats, then I will too. If everyone is staying seated, then I’m happy with that as well.

As for filming stuff, I sometimes like to get a minute or so of a favourite song then I’m done. I always watch them back though. I don’t understand how people can film the whole thing, that is bizarre!

I’m the same..if everyone stays seated I do so I don’t block anyone’s view. If everyone around me stands then I will too.
We went to see 5FDP and I’ve Nine Kills a few weeks ago…. ‘‘Twas brilliant 🤩