Manager insisting I take lunch

[Shanna8]

Hi, I would really appreciate some advice. I am PA to the CEO of a large organisation. I work in a solo capacity, no team or colleagues to have lunch with. This suits me fine. Our canteen is very busy, noisy and full of fellow co-workers who lunch together every day e.g. Finance colleagues sit at one table, HR colleagues sit at another table etc. The CEO sits with other Executive members. It's a bit clicky tbh ... but not having someone to have lunch with does not bother me in the slightest. I take lunch in my office, which I prefer. I tend to eat while working as I'm very busy and would prefer to work through and get home at a reasonable time. My Manager (CEO) has raised this with me on 3 occasions in recent weeks i.e. you really need to start taking lunch, you should not be working while having lunch etc. Yesterday she made another comment and I now feel pressurised and upset. I have told her previously (jokingly) that I have an aversion to the canteen, that I cannot stand it! There are other "solo" workers who also take lunch in their office and yet they are not being targeted. I could approach one of these colleagues for company at lunch time but I don't want to do this. It will result in me being tied to this arrangement every day, having to go to lunch when I don't want to/have something urgent on. There is no-where else to go for lunch except my car. I feel upset and resentful that I will be forced to sit in my car every day when I would prefer to keep working. I am now wondering why my Manager is insisting on this? Is it a duty of care / HR issue? Is she fearful I will take sick leave and cite being over-worked with no breaks? Is there any solution? Should I talk to her? AIBU???

Do you work your set times (for example, 8.30 -5.00)? If you tend to leave before end of day because you have been 'working through to 'get home at a reasonable time', she may want you to be there to suit her rather than you.
But yes, your employer has h& s considerations as others have pointed out

You’re not being targeted! You aren’t paid for your lunch hour, she’s trying to be fair and care about you and you’re calling that being targeted? Wow

Some people, including me, don't like having to eat with people around them. I suppose you will be forced to eat in your car, OP.

I find your reaction quite extreme tbh op, especially you saying you’d have to have your break in your car.

Even people who work in teams may not get to have lunch the same time as their colleagues, as they have other meetings that clash, or they are in a customer-facing role for example. It’s honestly no big deal.

Many people also choose not to have a break in the canteen. I used to go out for a walk as it’s not good for your health to just sit all day. Maybe visit a cafe or anything else that’s around.

PPs raise excellent points, most people are not paid for their lunch break, and working during your lunch and after hours makes it look like you can’t keep up with your work. Your boss is only looking out for you.

Either take breaks or have a chat with your boss about excessive workload. But don’t speak to her about ‘blah blah i have nowhere else to go’ as that sounds childish.

Also just to clarify, it’s also possible to eat at your desk and also go for a break/walk before or after.

Wow. I’m not sure that’s something I’d be openly admitting to on a public forum, even if it is anonymous. Did they realise that you were running back to the boss every time they vented? I wonder whether they nicknamed you Kim Philby behind your back?

If it's helpful, from a Management perspective, if I was raising this from a duty of care perspective, I'd probably be fine with you still actually eating at your desk, I think as long as I saw you get up and away from it for at least 15 mins or so to get some fresh air/screen break, I'd be happy.

It's also highly unprofessional to be sitting eating at your desk while you're working

In what world? And since when?

I do think it's a good idea to get up and go for a walk though.

@Whothefuckdoesthat
It's not the fault of the poster running back to the boss to debrief. The most wildest thing I've ever shared with a colleague was that I preferred winter over summer. Radical, I know!

But did your colleagues know you were doing this? Did you tell them “Anything work related we talk about will be fed back to the boss”.

Is that not what team meetings are for, especially if the boss was well respected and a generally happy department?

If it is a big organisation is there somewhere else you could go for lunch - do they have a meeting space you could use or could they make a 'staff room'. There maybe others in the company who also don't want to go to the canteen - sounds like there maybe and this maybe is a solution. I hope you are taking regular breaks to walk around though as sat at a desk for hours isn't great (I know).

A statutory break means it's mandatory for the employer to give it (as a minimum). It does not mean it's illegal for the employee to choose not to take it.

You can't be forced to eat in the canteen. You can go anywhere you want on your lunch break as long as you're back in time. But you have to take your break. You can't work through it and then leave half an hour earlier than you should.

Who put you in charge?

If her boss says she can leave early then she can.

The solution is you go for a walk, sit in your car, just take a break from work, it doesn't have to be in the canteen.
We encourage taking breaks where we work for all sorts of reasons, and if one employee is allowed to work through lunch and go home early, it has to be offered to everyone, which can cause issues

Her boss in in charge and her boss is saying she has to take lunch!

Go for a walk outside, loo break , get a coffee, read a chapter of a book or do a crossword, then have your sandwich at your desk. I never used the same sort of canteens either due to cliques. Might also not be possible but in an ok job in the past I used to nip out and get a couple of bags of food from a local shop leave it in boot have sandwich in car, to get a different break once a week.

you do need to take breaks to protect your health. I sadly had an old employer who was the complete opposite and I ended up with a lifelong disability due to this that I’d not wish on anyone.

YABU for 'clicky'. You mean cliquey?

@shearwater2 It's her boss that's insisting she takes a lunch break, which rather suggests that not taking one and leaving early isn't the preferred scenario.

A friend of mine lives in France and has to take a 2hr lunch break. He lives a long way from work and would rather have a shorter break and get home to his family earlier but it's not allowed.
I believe they passed a law in France making it illegal to eat at your desk - you have to take an actual break.
Good on them (though I'd rather not be forced to have 2hrs!).

I think you should be able to do what you want, you are an adult and can make your own choices. If you work through and can leave earlier as a result then that's your self care time there isn't it?

Of course we do. What do you think HR is? We don’t drive buses, we work in full on office based roles. I’ve done PA roles too, while having to also do my ‘day’ job. I get workload pressures. It makes taking a break even more important.

OP isn’t even going home to get on with family life. It sounds like she’s going home and logging on again there.

Also yes, agree manager will have noticed all the additional hours and should be doing something to resolve workload issues. However, a couple of years ago I spent all weekend working on a difficult report that needed to be with a senior manager the following week. I’d been working late too, to get it done in time. The manager didn’t look at it for another month and my own manager made it quite clear not to do that again as it wasn’t such a priority that I should do it in my own time. What I’m saying is maybe OPs manager has noticed the excessive hours, but doesn’t agree there’s a need for the work to be done outside of OPs contracted hours. We like to think the work we do is of utmost importance and so prioritise it - but really, often, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that urgent or important.

It's about duty of care. My ex line manager used to tell me to leave my desk because otherwise I wouldn't move all day. Can you eat at your desk but then have something to do for half an hour that's away from it?

I'm concerned you are working long hours as well.

My boss did this with me several times during my first year. Eventually she realised I would have a break when I needed to, even if it doesn't happen at 12.

(In actuality, I relish those quiet moments when everyone else buggers off!)

You saying 'I would prefer to work through to get home at a reasonable time';- is the problem

Your Manager is trying to kindly tell you, this job isn't flexi hours.

You need to work your contracted hours like everyone else does.

Maybe people are complaining about your self imposed flexi-time, whilst they are adhering to the rules as at the minute there is one rule for them and one for you

Nothing wrong with lunching in your office but NOT working.