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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if Private School parents think we can’t read?

1000 replies

Captainmycaptains · 26/06/2024 10:00

Work/volunteer in Education so following the whole VAT debate.

SM is full of private parent groups ‘organising’ to get the proposed VAT on fees cancelled - fine you would, wouldn’t you esp.if you’re used to getting your own way.

They’re advocating hassling local schools, councils, demanding stats and figures that don’t exist, wiring to MPs - telling people to ‘claim’ their state place to ‘disrupt’ the ‘system’ while also saying ‘ Obvs we won’t be taking Charlotte and Hugo out of school, we’ll find the money’ etc strive harder, getting granny to chip in’ but this might make the council ‘panic’.

Do they think that people in support of the VAT aren’t seeing/hearing/reading all of these plans???

the funniest one yet is the poster who said ‘ well going to claim our state school places then! See how they like that! We’ll going holiday, pay the mortgage down, shop at Waitrose and save £700k in the process, ha!’
I. no you aren’t 2. Okay - go for it! Who on earth would think £700k is worth it?? Behave like a normal person then…

YANBU - yeah, they’re noisy as expected but the rest of us are as think/ concerned as they seem to think. Also - it’s too late for Sept - waiting lists only…

YABU - applying for school places you have no intention of using is daft, and of course everyone can see what they’re trying to do.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Suri20 · 26/06/2024 12:18

Theunamedcat · 26/06/2024 12:12

I think they are a bunch of self obsessed twats but then again I have a child with sen forced to remain in a mainstream primary on the basis they guarantee a sen school place in year 7 guess what? Year 7 is September and no school place so I couldn't give a fuck if their diamond shoes are too tight I've got one child in secondary whose transport has been pulled in his GCSE year and another with no school space they are expecting me to drive one child in one direction and another in the opposite at the same time like fuck are we sorting this by September and the private school parents want to piss about putting more pressure on the department that can't find their own ass hole's with help and support two hands and a fucking torch

It's all about your perspective

No it’s all about a properly funded education system and VAT money, while it will help won’t sort out as much as you hope.

£14b is needed. Not the £1.7b that’s estimated to be raised through vat. This is all going on new teachers. Don’t expect to see a penny for your needs. Sadly.

I am sorry you are going through everything. But the answer is a wealth tax, not pitting private parents against state parents.

Why aren’t billionaires being made to pay more?

Why can they have houses, luxury boats etc all over the world?

When are we going to see true change in taxation of this country?

I am so fed up of the crap leaders of this country. One after another not getting to the nub of the issue. It’s like turkeys voting for Christmas and power corrupts. They don’t want to impose it because it’s their mates and donors. Even Labour.

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 26/06/2024 12:19

As a parent currently considering both sectors for my pre-school age child and someone who also works in a related area, I think YABU. You seem to be obsessing over some very specific bizarre comments made by specific people rather than the actual issues and facts of the debate.

I’ve been following the subject closely as it affects me both professionally and personally. For my own child, we are sort of on the border of affordability. We can probably afford private if we prioritise the fees over almost all other expendable costs and if I return to work full-time, which I wouldn’t do if we go with state. If VAT is added this would obviously be even more challenging.

Education is a really important political issue to me. Unfortunately I don’t see any party prioritising state education at the moment. The conditions in education have gotten worse and worse under the Conservative Party, but I hate that Labour is using education to win votes with a plan that won't make an actual difference in schools.

I’m at a loss with what to do really and it all just makes me very sad and frustrated on behalf of every child in the country.

456789098765g · 26/06/2024 12:19

Bushmillsbabe · 26/06/2024 12:14

I hate this message too. State schools will only improve if 'pushy middle class parents' are involved in them. Why?

Why can state school parents not take responsibility for improving their own child's school? My daughters go to a fabulous state primary - very mixed intake in terms of socio economics, higher than average FSM, higher than average SEN. But what sets it apart it amazing senior leadership and very involved parents. That's not how much parents earn, it's about their attitude, abd it's hugely disrespectful to say that lower income families are not engaged in their child's education so middle class ones need to be 'brought in to raise standards'. Absolute nonsense.

Obviously if you are working all hours on a minimum wage job and are struggling to feed your children and get through the week, you will probably have less time, money, energy and networks to contribute to the school and its community.

Bushmillsbabe · 26/06/2024 12:20

ALovelyCupOfNameChange · 26/06/2024 12:13

Because when it affects more people, more people try to resolve it.

if you care enough about your child’s education to pay for it. Your going to care if it’s shit and potentially be mobilised to do something. there are lots of people trying to help and support their children’s schools. More, who happen to be engaged in education and more affluent can only be a good thing for state schools.

But it's such small numbers, about 5% who are privately educated. If the huge numbers that are 95% of parents can't influence change, then is another 5% going to make such a massive difference? That's 1 child per class on average, even if every child in private moved into state. In reality it's projected to be maybe 10-20% of them that may move, so a 1% change in parental cohort in state schools? In my daughters school, this would equate to 1-2 'middle class' parents across the whole school. Not likely to make much impact?

Dibblydoodahdah · 26/06/2024 12:20

tiggergoesbounce · 26/06/2024 12:15

There are also going to be additional tax rises on working people, so they are going to see a significant increase in tax burden

Which taxes are these in the manifesto ?.

There are not in the manifesto but the IFS has said that Labour will have to increase general taxation. Keir Starmer disagrees with the IFS’s comments on this but repeatedly refers to the IFS’ report on private school VAT and uses it as evidence of how much will be raised as a result of the policy. Interesting isn’t it that he agrees with the IFS only when it suits him?!

twistyizzy · 26/06/2024 12:20

456789098765g · 26/06/2024 12:19

Obviously if you are working all hours on a minimum wage job and are struggling to feed your children and get through the week, you will probably have less time, money, energy and networks to contribute to the school and its community.

But not all state school parents are in this position and there are many wealthy people who choose state schools. You don't see many of them helping!

Moveoverdarlin · 26/06/2024 12:20

Jokingnotjoking · 26/06/2024 10:36

The bitter resentment in the OP’s post is palpable. You know, there are lots of really balanced, hardworking kids in private school who are taught to take people at face value. I hope you don’t project to your children your dislike for parents of Hugos and Emilys (or whatever) and I hope even more you’re kind to all children.

Totally agree with this. The assumption that private school kids are all a bunch of hooray Henrys is way off. If the parents could afford the extra VAT, they wouldn’t be kicking up a stink, let them crack on, I really hope they overturn it.

Another76543 · 26/06/2024 12:21

Dancingonthemoonlight · 26/06/2024 12:18

Let them come to state schools, let's see how long it takes for them to be knocked down a peg or 2 with their pretentiousness, let them see how normal people live, let them swallow that silver spoon they have sticking out their mouths.

Most of them wouldn't handle 2 days in a state school because all the normal kids won't take their pretentious BS and let's be honest the snobby parents with all the money won't exactly make any friends with the council estate dwellers and the minimum wage workers living pay check to pay check.

The last thing we need is more pretentious stuck up kids that haven't a clue about the real world and have never had to face a real struggle, so let them come to state schools, let them see how things really are. Who knows they might learn empathy and not grow up to be a raging narcissist who thinks they are better than everyone.

Why such spite, hatred and stereotypes against innocent children? There are perfectly nice families in the private and state sectors, just as there are unpleasant families in both. Many of those in the private sector have experienced the state sector.

twistyizzy · 26/06/2024 12:22

Bushmillsbabe · 26/06/2024 12:20

But it's such small numbers, about 5% who are privately educated. If the huge numbers that are 95% of parents can't influence change, then is another 5% going to make such a massive difference? That's 1 child per class on average, even if every child in private moved into state. In reality it's projected to be maybe 10-20% of them that may move, so a 1% change in parental cohort in state schools? In my daughters school, this would equate to 1-2 'middle class' parents across the whole school. Not likely to make much impact?

The issue is that spaces in state aren't in the areas where they are needed. So on paper the figures may work but not in individual LEAs, many are already identifying they have 0 spaces for in year transfers.

Sasqwatch · 26/06/2024 12:22

Must be hard work carrying that chip on your shoulder in this weather @Captainmycaptains

Blankscreen · 26/06/2024 12:22

Dancingonthemoonlight · 26/06/2024 12:18

Let them come to state schools, let's see how long it takes for them to be knocked down a peg or 2 with their pretentiousness, let them see how normal people live, let them swallow that silver spoon they have sticking out their mouths.

Most of them wouldn't handle 2 days in a state school because all the normal kids won't take their pretentious BS and let's be honest the snobby parents with all the money won't exactly make any friends with the council estate dwellers and the minimum wage workers living pay check to pay check.

The last thing we need is more pretentious stuck up kids that haven't a clue about the real world and have never had to face a real struggle, so let them come to state schools, let them see how things really are. Who knows they might learn empathy and not grow up to be a raging narcissist who thinks they are better than everyone.

Is this a joke?

Bushmillsbabe · 26/06/2024 12:24

456789098765g · 26/06/2024 12:19

Obviously if you are working all hours on a minimum wage job and are struggling to feed your children and get through the week, you will probably have less time, money, energy and networks to contribute to the school and its community.

But that is my point - we have a good 50% of parents in the school who are as you described. However, they still manage to support, engage and 'show up'. Typecasting lower paid people as less aspirational for their child is so disrespectful. All those I know who are slogging away, want an easier life for their child than they have and see education as the way to acheive that.

DeadbeatYoda · 26/06/2024 12:26

Another76543 · 26/06/2024 10:09

@Captainmycaptains

Many of those parents now applying to state schools are doing so to keep their options open. No one knows what’s going to happen so parents are increasingly keeping their options open. The uncertainty that the Labour Party has caused is dreadful.

Obvs we won’t be taking Charlotte and Hugo out of school

I understand that you obviously feel strongly about this, but resorting to name calling and laughing at parents’ choice of names somewhat undermines your argument. There are ways to put your point of view forward without resorting to petty and childish insults.

Edited

Have you not seen the myriad screenshots of WhatsApp groups that OP refers to? There are tons of entitled private school parents trying to mobilise their privileged pals into 'disrupting' the mainstream system by applying for places they have no intention of using. It is absolutely disgusting behaviour. Getting snarky about reverse snobbery is just like getting annoyed about cafe owners using rude words to describe the football hooligans that are threatening to ruin their business. It's pretty understandable as far as I see it.

CowTown · 26/06/2024 12:26

Dancingonthemoonlight · 26/06/2024 12:18

Let them come to state schools, let's see how long it takes for them to be knocked down a peg or 2 with their pretentiousness, let them see how normal people live, let them swallow that silver spoon they have sticking out their mouths.

Most of them wouldn't handle 2 days in a state school because all the normal kids won't take their pretentious BS and let's be honest the snobby parents with all the money won't exactly make any friends with the council estate dwellers and the minimum wage workers living pay check to pay check.

The last thing we need is more pretentious stuck up kids that haven't a clue about the real world and have never had to face a real struggle, so let them come to state schools, let them see how things really are. Who knows they might learn empathy and not grow up to be a raging narcissist who thinks they are better than everyone.

The “pretentious stuck up kids that haven't a clue about the real world and have never had to face a real struggle” and “raging narcissist who thinks they are better than everyone” won’t be the pupils squeezed out of private schools. It will be the kids like my neighbours, whose parents are both state school teachers. Their kids went to the local primary and are in private secondary. It will be these families squeezed out, not the aristocratic families at Eton.

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 26/06/2024 12:26

Captainmycaptains · 26/06/2024 10:50

‘You seem as invested in the debate as the parents directly affected by the policy.’

Yes - I work and volunteer is Education so absolutely am.

I’m honestly surprised to hear you work and volunteer in Education and have faith that this policy will make any appreciable difference for most children. I don’t know anyone else who has faith that this plan will make an actual difference in their school.

Bushmillsbabe · 26/06/2024 12:27

twistyizzy · 26/06/2024 12:22

The issue is that spaces in state aren't in the areas where they are needed. So on paper the figures may work but not in individual LEAs, many are already identifying they have 0 spaces for in year transfers.

Exactly, so it won't have any impact on improving stare schools anyway, probably the reverse. If the LA cannot accommodate, they legally have to provide transport to an area which does,costing more money

Sloejelly · 26/06/2024 12:27

the £1.7b that’s estimated to be raised through vat

This was just on report by a single economist, other reports suggest it may cost the state money. The IFS makes several incredulous assumptions which undermine their figures.

AirportObs · 26/06/2024 12:28

When I was in State I tried so hard to help, they didn’t give two fucks. They were happy being lazy and doing the minimum. It’s the opposite in Private Schools, they want to listen. They value your input.

Another76543 · 26/06/2024 12:28

DeadbeatYoda · 26/06/2024 12:26

Have you not seen the myriad screenshots of WhatsApp groups that OP refers to? There are tons of entitled private school parents trying to mobilise their privileged pals into 'disrupting' the mainstream system by applying for places they have no intention of using. It is absolutely disgusting behaviour. Getting snarky about reverse snobbery is just like getting annoyed about cafe owners using rude words to describe the football hooligans that are threatening to ruin their business. It's pretty understandable as far as I see it.

There are almost 600k children in private schools. Most private school parents aren’t doing this (for a start, most of them haven’t got the time).

twistyizzy · 26/06/2024 12:28

DeadbeatYoda · 26/06/2024 12:26

Have you not seen the myriad screenshots of WhatsApp groups that OP refers to? There are tons of entitled private school parents trying to mobilise their privileged pals into 'disrupting' the mainstream system by applying for places they have no intention of using. It is absolutely disgusting behaviour. Getting snarky about reverse snobbery is just like getting annoyed about cafe owners using rude words to describe the football hooligans that are threatening to ruin their business. It's pretty understandable as far as I see it.

And the main campaign group vehemently denounces this behaviour. People are anxious, worried so that makes them behaviour a certain way. Labour created this mess, blame them.
If people can't afford the 20% (and there are many of us who can't even though Labour try to pretend that we don't exist) then what do you expect them to do?

AirportObs · 26/06/2024 12:28

Sloejelly · 26/06/2024 12:27

the £1.7b that’s estimated to be raised through vat

This was just on report by a single economist, other reports suggest it may cost the state money. The IFS makes several incredulous assumptions which undermine their figures.

FFS I’m so tired of this, it will COST the state money!!!

SoupDragon · 26/06/2024 12:29

456789098765g · 26/06/2024 12:06

These parents are TOTALLY missing the point....

We (state school parents) WANT well off professionals to send their kids to local state schools. We WANT them to invest their networks, time, emotions, and even money in local state schools.

Obviously if there is huge influx to state schools it might cause some disruption (although this won't actually happen). But if more parents send their kids to comps this will be a great thing in the long term.

Do you want them to price you out of catchment of the outstanding schools too?

Darhon · 26/06/2024 12:30

GasPanic · 26/06/2024 10:32

I'm not sure anyone is happy to pay extra thousands of pounds a year in tax so I can understand why private school parents might be annoyed.

I'm pretty sure if the government introduced a school tax that was paid by working people with kids who sent their kids to state schools that would cost them £2-£3k a year then they would be pretty annoyed too.

And note that the private school taxes are only the start under Labour.There are also going to be additional tax rises on working people, so they are going to see a significant increase in tax burden.

The tax burden is at the highest it’s been since the war as the conservatives haven’t raised the income tax thresholds and other ways in which they have raised tax. See quote from IFS. This is well reported in the right wing press.

‘The UK government is currently raising more in tax revenue, as a percentage of national income, than at any time since the 1940s (Figure 1). This is, in no small part, due to a raft of tax-raising measures announced over the past few years. Notable examples include the big increase in the main rate of corporation tax from 19% to 25%, the energy profits levy, and freezes to various income tax and National Insurance thresholds. Economic developments mean that some of these measures will now raise considerably more than originally planned or intended. That is particularly true of freezes to income tax allowances (which would otherwise have risen in line with CPI inflation)’

Reforms, roll-outs and freezes in the tax and benefit system | Institute for Fiscal Studies

We show the impact of freezes and gradual roll-outs on personal taxes and benefits, as well as considering planned changes to the tax system.

https://ifs.org.uk/publications/reforms-roll-outs-and-freezes-tax-and-benefit-system

Another76543 · 26/06/2024 12:30

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 26/06/2024 12:26

I’m honestly surprised to hear you work and volunteer in Education and have faith that this policy will make any appreciable difference for most children. I don’t know anyone else who has faith that this plan will make an actual difference in their school.

I don’t think anyone sensible in the state sector truly believes this will make a difference. Grammar heads are already warning of the disruption the policy will bring

GabriellaMontez · 26/06/2024 12:30

Dancingonthemoonlight · 26/06/2024 12:18

Let them come to state schools, let's see how long it takes for them to be knocked down a peg or 2 with their pretentiousness, let them see how normal people live, let them swallow that silver spoon they have sticking out their mouths.

Most of them wouldn't handle 2 days in a state school because all the normal kids won't take their pretentious BS and let's be honest the snobby parents with all the money won't exactly make any friends with the council estate dwellers and the minimum wage workers living pay check to pay check.

The last thing we need is more pretentious stuck up kids that haven't a clue about the real world and have never had to face a real struggle, so let them come to state schools, let them see how things really are. Who knows they might learn empathy and not grow up to be a raging narcissist who thinks they are better than everyone.

What an ill informed and unpleasant post.

Apologies if this is parody and I've missed it.

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