Logistics of living with a partner

[dancemom]

Moved in with my partner last month. DC is now an adult (just) and has moved in with a friend in the city, I live 40 minutes away in the country.

DP has a mid teen daughter who stays twice a week. All good there and everyone gets on well so far.

2 weeks ago my DC came to stay, same night as DPs DC stays regularly. Again all good, we got a takeaway and everything was great.

My DC is coming again to stay this weekend at my request, again same night as DPs DC due to logistics of my DCs job. My DC has asked if they and I can go for lunch together just us before meeting up with partner and their DC to go to a shopping centre as already arranged. Fine with me, always nice to have 1 on 1 time with my DC.

DP has objected, states I've already spent plenty time with my DC this past week (which is true, we went to an event together and I stayed overnight with DC) and we should spend time as a 4, it's not very thoughtful to him and his DC and how will he explain to his DC that they just aren't invited.

My opinion is while I have spent plenty time with my DC this week that we should be able to do things separately, it's important he still has 1 on 1 time with his DC and due to my DCs job this night is the only night they can ever stay and if I avoid 1 on 1 things because his DC is there then I'll never get to do them.

Additional information, DP has been awesome, really stepped up and helped me this week when I had a lot on, looked after things at home so I could do all lot this week and has been great overall. Other information is that myself and my DC are exceptionally close, I miss them a lot and we would always have a breakfast or a lunch or something this particular weekend of the month (payday) as a long standing tradition.

So AIBU to think it's okay to go to lunch with just my DC and meet back up with DP and his DC after for other activities?

Fuck that, sounds like you have a great relationship with your DC don’t let him ruin that. I would move out as soon as I could.

Your child is an adult. It's not like they are 5 and you are all off to soft play together. They can do whatever the hell they want with their own time and have no obligation to "bond" with an unrelated teenager just become their mum lives with someone now. Tell him to do one and you can see your child as much as you want.

"DP has objected, states I've already spent plenty time with my DC this past week (which is true, we went to an event together and I stayed overnight with DC) and we should spend time as a 4, it's not very thoughtful to him and his DC and how will he explain to his DC that they just aren't invited."

You just moved in and he's already trying to control you and dictate to you. I would move right back out.

He has no right to say any of this . How ridiculous .

There is no issue here! Well, except your partner being absolutely ridiculous.

Id be questioning the fact DP thinks that they can tell you , who you can and can't spend time with , ultimately you are your own person, keep up the tradition, go to lunch , DP will need to get over it

DP has objected, states I've already spent plenty time with my DC this past week (which is true, we went to an event together and I stayed overnight with DC) and we should spend time as a 4, it's not very thoughtful to him and his DC and how will he explain to his DC that they just aren't invited.

Honestly, I would dump him for this. Nobody would tell me when I could and couldn't see my own child on my own.

Women who can't afford to run a household by themselves have to share their houses with arsehole men. And the men know it.

Have you given up your own independence and home to move in with him? I would be moving straight back out again!