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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was really rude & insensitive

35 replies

Bereavedupset · 25/06/2024 22:58

My mother has just passed away.

Once everyone who needed to know had been informed, I posted a photo of her on Facebook. My mother was very elderly and had been a very pretty lady when she was younger. The photo I posted was taken about a year ago on one of the last outings I had with her before she became housebound. Admittedly she had looked better but I liked the photo as it was taken in a beautiful place and had special memories. After posting it my sister said she thought I could've posted a nicer photo. I didn't disagree and I asked if I should change it and she told me not to worry.

Today I was at my sister's and her close friend Julie popped round. She said she thought the photo I had posted was so awful, she'd felt unable to like & comment on it, and she'd also felt compelled to text Tracey ,(another close friend of DSIS) to express her feelings. I got the impression (maybe wrongly) that Tracey agreed with her. I felt so bad I changed the photo for a more flattering one despite feeling quite cross at Julie for being so direct, but also through embarrassment as, in retrospect, the photo didn't do my mum justice.

Later that day, Tracey popped in to see my sister while I was still there & the subject of the photo came up. I said I knew she didn't like it as Julie had already said. She looked shocked and said I should ignore Julie & do what I wanted.

I know I'm probably being over sensitive but was Julie being really rude & inappropriate?

OP posts:
paasll · 26/06/2024 00:14

Julie is a real twat

itsmylife7 · 26/06/2024 00:20

Absolutely Yes.

Sorry about your mum

Allie47 · 26/06/2024 00:20

We hate Julie! What a bitch 💐💐

JurassicClark · 26/06/2024 00:21

I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your sister have more to think about than Julie and her big mouth.

HollyKnight · 26/06/2024 00:23

I can't even imagine what could have been so terrible about the photo that Julie just had to confront you about it. It's such a bizarre thing to do to someone who is grieving.

KomodoOhno · 26/06/2024 00:26

I cannot imagine telling a grieving person their mother looked terrible in a picture the day they died. I am very sorry for your loss. You picked a picture that was special to you.

Gymnopedie · 26/06/2024 01:05

What was your sister's reaction to Julie? I'm hoping she won't be such a close friend anymore.
Edited - my sympathy on your loss. I've been there and I know how much it hurts.

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 21/07/2024 21:13

Julie’s a cunt and I’m so sorry about your Mum xx

stillavid · 21/07/2024 21:18

It was badly handled but I know I wouldn't want my daughter posting a photo where I didn't look great in it - sorry, I know it means I am terribly superficial but it is the truth. I suspect the comments stung as you knew there was some truth to it.

Condolences on your loss though.

TruthorDie · 21/07/2024 21:22

These are terrible people. Very rude and insensitive. Sorry for your loss

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