At what age can it be called SEXUAL HARRASEMENT in school - Advice needed!!!!

[windyweather]

DD 6.5 in Y1 class, she constantly has the boys fighting over who is going to marry her etc (usual for their age, she is very pretty so obviously nothing wrong with their eyes).
On and off since starting reception on boy now 5.11, has been chasing her trying to kiss her and it had started to get a bit aggresive, him triping her to lie on top, pinning her against the wall when she says NO get off they only do when m someone else drags them off. usually other child in class. Each occasion been to see teachers who has spoken to boys about this and basically kept them in at play and lost out on other play.
Yesterday, she stayed for after French lesson and he tried it on again kissing up her arm trying on the face, when she said no and put her arms up he just kissed them instead. he followed her into the toilets also.
Basically i want this to stop, she is clever enough to know what is right and wrong and both DH and me have said "if he/they dont get off then do whatever it takes to get them off and whatever force".
Has anyone had this experience b4 and what can I expect the school to do. boys in question naughty lads and already in big trouble this week picking on anouther boy.

Thanks,

bloody hell I am shocked by this thread..keep us updated about what the school say and as the last poster said be prepared to take it further/ document it in letters etc

Personally, I think it's bloody stupid of the school to have shared toilets. Boys will always try to see girls knickers/whatever and will climb over the walls/look under the door. Are there any girls only loos? Make demands to the head/LA/County Council etc etc etc. Once kids get to about 5 they really ought to have sep loos.

One boy sounds like he might need social services as others have said here; has certainly witnessed something inappropriate - the boys at dd's school (and they are yr4 now) would run off in disgust at the idea of kissing a girl's fanjo.

I do find the school's attitude to this whole thing pretty strange. DD has been at two schools 150miles away from each other. In both kissing and hugging was against the rules. At first I thought that was rather sad, but then realised it is necessary in order to stop exactly the sort of behaviour you describe. I thought the no-kissing rule was nationwide.

The teacher needs to have a really serious talk with the class about personal boundaries and respect for others. It sounds like the head needs to give a similar talk to the whole school. They should have some sort of policy which they should follow.

This is quite a serious issue. It's not just boys and girls playing kissing games. And it does have implications for the future. Have what you want to say very clear in your head. Don't be fobbed off.

It is a worry about what the boy may or may not have witnessed, but it doesnt mean he is being abused. Might he have some sort of behavioural disorder, sorry that sounds a bit harsh but i cant think of the right way to say it, that makes him behave inappropriately, that he clearly needs help for?? Unless this is flagged up he is going to have problems. Just another angle for it, reporting is absolutely the right thing to do. Most importantly for you though as the school need to protect your daughter.

Thanks everyone, will keep you updated.

toilets are only shared in YR and Y1 class, others have girls boys loos.

My DD1 school also has shared loos (she is 6 in Yr1) and they all change together in there for PE ...She has taken to wearing a little bra vest under her uniform cos she doesn't want the boys to see her boobies when they change
This can't be right - seperate loos would be a start or someone monitoring the loos ...

Hi Windyweather just read your thread! I worked with school kids before DS was born. Would just like to tell you that you should definately contact the school on this matter and personally I would say it's not sexual harassment but is bullying of a sexual nature and shows that this little boy has possibly been involved or seen something like this going on. We would have been concerned if any of the children in our care had acted like this and would have reported it straight away to the parents and school.

My dsis is a youth officer and I am sure his behaviour would ring alarm bells with her.

Sorry but I would say it is sexual harrasement. Even kids this young are being allowed to watch the likes of Eastenders and emmerdale farm, they are exposed to so much sexuality its unreal. I suffered from this sort of 'bullying' to and to be honest it scared me and it was very traumatic.

Children have the right to go to school and not be physically touched in this way. I would deal with it in the upmost seriousness. Little boys like this who are persistant just turn into bigger boys at high school who think they can grab you and abuse you.

YANBU- its totally unacceptable.

It sounds rough enough and persistent enough to be called bullying and should be stopped. However the alarm bells are probably false alarms. Boys and girls always acted like this. Its become customary in recent years to treat every touch like abuse, but I think that's because the adults have it on their minds too much.

Been in today teacher going to see head, i also made an appointment for monday am.
She was talking to the class in a group about going the toilet rules when i went back in.

Feel like i havent slept all night.

Had PTFA meeting tonght and on the way out the Head asked to speak to me.

Basically had the meeting with him told him all my concerns etc. He fully understood and agreed with me and had already decided with teacher to bring boy y parents in next week.

What this space.

I have 3 boys and there is no way on this earth that that kind of behaviour is acceptable.

I am also a teacher and find it totally unacceptable that this has been able to continue without severe reprimand/consequences. Maybe they thought it was just a phase/would settle down and not to make a fuss - it clearly hasn't and now they have a major problem.

It is totally unacceptable and under no circumstances must their be any repeat to ANY child.

tbh it sounds like he has been abused- exposing children to pornography is abuse, and is a criminal act. I do not believe he would act this way unless he had been exposed to something of a sexual nature, whether that is actual acts of abuse or secondary, through exposure to pornography.

Just because you live in a decent area sadly does not mean children are not abused.

I hope some action is taken, for the sake of all the children concerned, and I hope that this ends now, and your daughter is free to enjoy her schooldays as she should.

I just wanted to say you have done the right thing going to the teacher.
I work in child protection and was recently involved in a case where a young boy was doing exactly the same as the boy in your daughter's class. It turned out that he was being sexually abused by a family member.

I'm not suggesting for a second that this is the case for this child - there could be a simple explanation - but either way this child needs to learn about personal space and appropriate touching.

I hope this all gets sorted for you soon.