To think this is a controlling relationship?

[DaisyAisy]

Posting here for traffic
My DS is 15, he's just finished year 11 and isn't 16 until the end of August. He has ADHD and is immature, more than most year 11s. He has a history of mental health issues. He self harms and attempted suicide last September, he seems to be doing better although he has been struggling with anxiety recently due to exams.

His friend called me today and she seemed very concerned and told me he has a boyfriend (I didn't know he was gay so this was a shock) he's 17 and seems to be in a controlling relationship. They met online, he isn't a fake account as he joined one of their face time calls which the friend thought was odd at the time as they didn't know each other but said DS was much quieter than he usually is. She told me DS was constantly messaging him when he was at school (despite phones being banned), he constantly messages him when they're out together and DS was upset recently as boyfriend had accused him of cheating.

I suspect this could be a potentially controlling relationship but DS hasn't came out to me so I'm unsure on how to speak to him

AIBU? and how do I talk to him?

How much do you and your son speak to each other about things like this? Are relationships in general a topic of conversation you have ever discussed? If I was you, depending on the kind of relationship you have with him, I’d try to bring up the subject of relationships in general to try and start the conversation, without using the word “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”. That way he can decide if he wants to tell you he is gay, or he could just tell you about his “partner” without identifying them as male or female.

It really depends how close you are though and what kind of relationship you two have. My mum and I have always been really close and I knew I could speak to her about anything so I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid if she brought up relationships etc with me or asked if I was seeing anyone because I was always open with her about things like that. If you don’t have that kind of open communication generally though it is going to be more difficult to start now

I've spoken to him about consent, boundaries and relationships. I didn't think he was interested in relationships because of how immature he is

Nothing you've said points to a controlling relationship. Maybe he's quieter than usual as he's realised he's gay and doesn't know how to tell you

DS hasn't been quieter than he usually is at home, he was much quieter when he was on facetime to his friend when his boyfriend had joined them.