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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Old boss stalking my LinkedIn profile

24 replies

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 09:20

I was forced out of my last role, due to some pretty aggressive bullying. I thankfully was offered a settlement to exit, however this was in exchange for signing a gagging order. In hindsight, I wish I had taken them to court but at the time the bullying was impacting my mental health, and I wanted my career intact so I could continue to work in the same sector. I now have taken a new role, kept it very private my new employer have delayed making an announcement about my appointment due to other circumstances which suit their marketing. So it's not common knowledge where I've gone. My old boss / bully, keep checking my Linkedin profile. Literally every week and it's starting to feel really creepy, he now knows who I'm working for and what role I've taken. In my gut I just feel he is trying to get under my skin. AIBU to think there is no genuine reason for this, he knows where I've gone - stop looking. I'm tempted to block him but I think it might add fuel to the fire. Any advice? Or just try best to ignore it?

OP posts:
DappledThings · 25/06/2024 09:23

Just ignore it. Maybe he's just interested. LinkedIn is a public thing anyway isn't it? I don't use it but isn't the whole idea of it generally more public than something like Facebook? Or just stop checking who has looked at your profile. Does it tell you that or do you have to seek out the information?

Cheermonger · 25/06/2024 09:23

Post the Amy Cuddy new stuff about bullying on your account, give it a few days then delete everyone from your contacts who wronged you and don’t give them another thought. Well done for getting out 👍

TinkerTiger · 25/06/2024 09:25

How does he know where you're now working if it was kept private? My thought would be that he's been trying to find it so that he could contact them and give them a story.

So I don't get why he hasn't already been blocked/why you'd update your profile with your new job if you knew he was looking at it. Do it and move on.

mewkins · 25/06/2024 09:27

I wouldn't think twice about blocking him.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 25/06/2024 09:28

Just block him.

ToxicChristmas · 25/06/2024 09:29

I'd block without hesitation. What fuel would it add? You don't work for him anymore, you obviously don't see each other as friends. Just get on with your life. He should be the more embarrassed party at getting busted stalking your page.

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 09:30

My profile is public, but I turned off the notifications that alert LinkedIn followers to my change of role. So he would need to make the effort to find me.
I get notifications when someone new has looked at my profile, which I'm tracking when I meet new clients etc.

OP posts:
bryceQ · 25/06/2024 09:32

Just block him and give no more headspace to him otherwise he is still impacting you.

Andwegoroundagain · 25/06/2024 09:33

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 09:30

My profile is public, but I turned off the notifications that alert LinkedIn followers to my change of role. So he would need to make the effort to find me.
I get notifications when someone new has looked at my profile, which I'm tracking when I meet new clients etc.

You can block individual people so I'd suggest doing that.
Alternatively screenshot the LinkedIn page where it shows him accessing the profile and then contact the HR dept at the prev company and say that you think it's inappropriate for him to be looking at your profile and that if it continues you'll consider this a new instance of harassment which would not be subject to the gagging order. So they may want to address this ASAP

DinnaeFashYersel · 25/06/2024 09:36

Block him is the best thing to do.

He will be being nosey.

MrsElsa · 25/06/2024 09:36

Just block!

There was a thread recently where OP found out she had been blocked on LI and was upset about it - I still say that it's up to the profile owner as to who they want to see it or not! It's not public property, it's your personal profile. No one has the right to see it! If you don't want specific people to see it then block them, that's why blocking exists.

I blocked a couple of toxic ex co workers and feel great about it. Take control!

LivingOnTheVeg · 25/06/2024 09:54

My old director does this whenever anyone leaves. I left ages ago and he still looks at mine once a fortnight or so. It doesn’t bother me - in fact I feel a bit smug knowing I take up space in his head as he was gutted I left. Grin

If it bothers you that much then just block him. I think it is an intimidation tactic but just look at the positive that you’ve moved on and he clearly hasn’t.

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 11:32

My only concern with blocking is that he will see that as a negative response and start bad mouthing me. Which legally he isn't supposed to do. Although he's breached the gagging order once already

OP posts:
syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 11:32

I just want to get on with my life and career!

OP posts:
wibblywobblywoo · 25/06/2024 11:47

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 11:32

My only concern with blocking is that he will see that as a negative response and start bad mouthing me. Which legally he isn't supposed to do. Although he's breached the gagging order once already

Bad mouth you to who??? You don't work there anymore!!

It seems you are doing a lot of protecting here OP - you have a situation you don't like but you are fearful of the solution incase that produces something else bad.....well what if doesn't? Block him and move on in your own mind as well.

KrisAkabusi · 25/06/2024 11:59

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 11:32

My only concern with blocking is that he will see that as a negative response and start bad mouthing me. Which legally he isn't supposed to do. Although he's breached the gagging order once already

You said that you had to sign a gagging order to get a settlement. It's unlikely he had to as well.

StickerSwap · 25/06/2024 13:26

OP - I know someone who went through similar in terms of bullying and leaving because of this.
You have 2 options:

  • ignore & turn off the bit of LinkedIn which tells you who's viewed your profile (mine is turned off(
  • block your old boss

But ultimately you're in a much better position now, so try to forget the old place.

TinkerTiger · 25/06/2024 14:37

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 11:32

I just want to get on with my life and career!

So. Block. Him.

Theres nothing stopping him bad mouthing you now either. Your reluctance to do it makes me think you thrive on the drama. It’s a non-issue.

bryceQ · 25/06/2024 16:00

It won't say "this person has blocked you" so he cant prove. You need to just remove this person from your life, just do it. He still has a hold over you.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 25/06/2024 17:48

Just block him. If you have a good reputation in your industry that should carry you through. If he is a bully, it will be known.

Dontbeabitterlemon · 25/06/2024 17:52

Block him or let him stew

ridingfreely · 25/06/2024 18:00

I'd block him

syndromeImposter · 25/06/2024 21:58

Does anyone know how to block someone without them knowing you've looked at their profile?

OP posts:
ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 26/06/2024 06:57

Blocking Without Viewing Profiles: Is It Possible?

Currently, LinkedIn doesn’t tell its users how to block someone without visiting their profile. You must go to that member’s profile and hit the block button. However, LinkedIn removes your name from the people who viewed your profile list.

I found this, not sure how true it is though.

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