Guy I know hates immigrants but seems to only date women from other countries

[Opalfleur2026]

Just that. He often says that he dislikes foreigners coming into the country and many of them are 'criminals' but his girlfriend (my friend) is a recent immigrant

And I have seen a lot of men who fit that description too.

What compels them to get foreign girlfriends when they hate foreigners

The guy I am talking about is long term unemployed and lives with his parents at 38 so I can see many women may not accept him but that is his own circumstances & not representative of the phenomenon where xenophobic men seem to go for foreign partners.

I don't get it, there are plenty of native born women around, why choose a foreigner when you hate foreigners. My friend says her boyfriend only hates the foreign men (which is very weird tbh).

In general
Love and hate are often closely interwoven.
Love transcends color, prior beliefs, or circumstances.
Probably makes for exciting relationships.

@Wakeywake a lot of immigrant women ARE ridiculously attractive, could probably make someone forget just about anything.

Not much of a mystery really.

Racism is often about people feeling powerless, instead of looking to themselves or the powerful people who shape their chances, they decide it's all the fault of immigrants.

If you feel powerless and insecure, a British woman who won't take any crap isn't who you want. Being an immigrant can make you vulnerable, whether through immigration status, discrimination, culture shock etc. Not all immigrant women, but some!

So the insecure man blames immigrants for his shitty life and wants a vulnerable woman to prop up his self esteem.

Really he'd be better off a) working to improve his lot and b) realising his life chances are more about what the rich want than what immigrants do.

Somebody I know from work was dating a bloke like this. I called him out on it and then told her I never wanted to see him again so not to bother inviting me out again when he's was about. She dumped his racist arse a few weeks later
There is no way I would share a table with a racist.

What compels any women of any racial background to even consider dating a bloke who's never worked and lives with his mum while being a racist woman hater aged nearly 40 would be a more pertinent question?

Hahaha very common.

”Well YOU’RE okay.” I was actually born here but cheers.

There may be a difference to him between those that earn well and contribute to the country and those who take more from the state than they put in. Is his GF from the first category and his hate directed at the second?

I think you really need to emphasise for your friend that she can do so much better… I mean MUCH better.

He has worked in the past but not for the past 3 years. He says its cos he was bullied at work and he now suffers from depression..she is sympathetic cos she was treated badly in previous jobs and she quit because of that (difference is she found another job quite quickly!) She now has to sit with him and help him apply for jobs.

So there is a sad side to the story.

She likes him cos he is nice to her. They also have a shared love of animals.

@ACynicalDad then he needs to redirect his hate to himself as he is contributing fuck all to the state and by existing he’s taken more out of the state. But as he is white and from here, that’s all right by his thinking… 🫠

So he has had one girlfriend who is an immigrant, according to your OP?

My dad and uncles know a bloke who would rant from morning til night about immigrants and he literally bought himself a wife from Vietnam or the Philippines or somewhere because British women are just spongers who might expect something from him.

It’s apparently directed at all non-white strangers he bumps into in London, most of whom are likely British-born and whose employment status is completely unknown to him.

According to her all his past girlfriends were asian immigrants as 'white women cheat'

He clearly likes that sick power dynamic. Ew.

Is he Donald Trump?

In that case he needs to look no further than the end of own nose.

And what does she say when he says that? I suspect she is the "approved" imagrant men like that like rather than someone of a darker hue.
The are lots of men (and women) who have this view but whoever they are sleeping with is exempt.

I am friends with an English lady (30s) who is voting reform, when another friend asked why she said
" England is losing its identity, there are too many Asians and black immigrants"

Friend " you do know some are born here right? They will get the backlash too, if not more"

Her " They're not really English though are they?"

The one voting reform is a solicitor so educated before anyone says/thinks otherwise. She also has a black British boyfriend of 3yrs.
But he of course would be exempt from the "cleansing of the uk" 🙄

Same reason so many men in relationships with woman are raging misogynists.
Handy victim on tap.

Most likely has the same racist views as him and doesn't view herself as "that type of immigrant"

Speaking from personal experience here!

He's a deeply insecure man who feels he's failed at life. If he can designated another group of people as inferior he can feel better about himself. If he can blame that group for his lack of success rather than his own inadequacy, so much the better. The same insecurity leads to him seeking women from the group he sees as inferior, so he can percieve them as lucky to have him and see himself as the prize deep down he knows he isn't. Your friend should run as many miles as she can from this individual.