To give up work

[spotttyshortsmanc]

I am a single mum to a 2 year old. I changed careers about ten months approx there are so many positives about my job, but it's also very full on and lots of fast paced deadlines. I work full time, and have done since my son was ten months old. I feel close to burnout. Am constantly anxious about work. I don't enjoy any time off as I'm just wired and worried about work! I find myself being short tempered with my little one more easily. Essentially work is ruling my life and mental health. I am thinking of handing in my notice to take a part-time role nearby (shop work or equivalent) that I can go in and leave at work! If you had this opportunity would you do similar? I feel a failure for even thinking of quitting and letting a good career pass me by, but I also feel so depressed and stressed all the time.

I think you'll regret it in a few years if you give up your career. Can you reduce your hours at your current job?

I agree with previous poster, if you can I’d look at making changes to your current job first if possible. Maybe a flexible working request or a request to reduce hours to give you the breathing space that you need now while also leaving the door open for when your child is school age and you may want to then increase x

If you can afford it, hell yes. Work will always be there. Time with your child won’t be. Go off sick for a while and consider your options.

Work might not always be there.

Depending on your career, you might find it difficult to pick up the threads in a few years time

Think carefully.

Can you do whatever you currently do on a part time basis? You may find you leave to work in retail and never make it out again. Also I wouldn't be so sure you can just walk into retail. Especially with childcare needs, a lot of retail jobs want a lot of flexibility.

Depends on how easy it is to re-enter your profession and be on a par with where you left reasonably quickly. Clearly something has to give and if work is the cause of stress, it seems logical that's where you make whatever changes are necessary. Personally I would prioritise your wellbeing and time with your child and pick up your career once they're much older if that's an option.

I used to work in retail and Dear God I hated it. I used to pray every day that I'd turn the corner and the place would be a smoking hole in the ground. I'd take my stressful office job all day long.

To put it into perspective I called the Samaritans today. It's not the stress of an office job, it is the mental load of working full time and being a full time parent with zero support!

In that case I'd go off sick for a while. Then can you go part time?

If you're claiming UC then once your child turns 3 you are expected to look for 30 hours work or earn above the earnings threshold. just something to bear in mind depending how close to three your child is. You don't want to be giving up a job and taking part time hours if you are going to be expected to work more in a few months time, it could just end up being more stressful.

I have stayed in touch with my manager since she retired. She said the one thing she regretted was going to work full time (it was full time or nothing) after having her kids and missing out on them being little.

I work 3 days a week and if I worked 5 days a week I would be £150 per month better off (childcare, student loan, pension, NI, tax etc).

I went part time after DC and felt like you. Just couldn’t do it. I left and it’s so much better for me and tbh I think everyone in the house. But I didn’t take the decision lightly and had some red lines that I wouldn’t move on- total shared finances, transparency, pension sorted out etc etc. I organised it so I would still be ‘ok’ at the very least. If you need time off for health reasons see your GP first, and work out financially what is possible for you in terms of cutting back. I think work will always be there, time with young kids won’t be. Mumsnet loves to encourage women to work even if you are at the end of your tether- you do what works for you. Best of luck x

Does your work have an employee assistance programme? It's not just for work related stresses. Are you able to take some time off and come back on a phased return? It's really flipping hard flying solo. Are you clear on your finances if you went and got a job in a shop for example? Could you manage?

Never quit on a bad day.

Get a sick note and call in sick for a few weeks or more, recharge your batteries and think more slowly and clearly about all your options. Then decide.

I felt the same. I left and I have no regrets. Why be ruled by something that's pushing you to breaking point? There is so much more to life x

Being a parent is hard and being a working single parent is really tough- well done for making it this far and also being brave and recognising something needs to change.
If you are burnt out, firstly make an appointment with your GP who can help. Does your work have a decent sick leave policy so you could take some paid sick leave to recover?
If you can quit your job and make finances work that is one option but as an alternative could you talk to HR department/ your boss and ask for more flexibility- eg reducing your days/ finishing early?
Do you have anyone who can help/ a support network you can ask for help?

Things will get better OP. I would definitely contact your GP. I’m not surprised you’re feeling burnt out! I genuinely couldn’t imagine doing a full time job and solo parenting, it’s seriously impressive you’ve done it for this long. It sounds like you need some support in the short to medium term. You need some time off to work out what you need to do next. The GP might sign you off for a week or two, alternatively could you book a day or two off when DC is in nursery? Do you have anyone around who can help you in any way? Have you spoken to anyone in real life about how you’re feeling?

Just want to thank everyone who commented. I know the correct decision for my MH and happiness is to hand in my notice. Have a break and look for a part time role. I've never taken a risk like this before but think it's the only way forward.

Appreciate everyone's helpful advice xxx