I would appreciate some advice to see if I have a valid reason for being annoyed or am overreacting. My child has been friends with another child for all through primary schoool. They play online daily and have always gone to each other’s parties. I am close friends with the Mum; we meet for coffee, message and each other, socialise etc This child came to my child’s party. My friend started saying a few weeks ago their child was having a small party of 3/4 as wanted to do an expensive activity. I perceived she was setting the stall. Last week I found out from a friend the party would be this weekend and they had invited 5 children. We never had an invite. I was so put out as the children play daily online, meet up, had play dates etc and Mum is a friend. I also have helped her in school holidays looking after her child and included her when husband away etc and taken child to events. I am very inclusive and hate to leave people out. I decided to be bigger person and sent happy bday message last week and again was told the child support as not having a party but chose small number to do activity and she had been stressing all week about it. Probably guilt. As this was in a larger message re chit chat I didn’t respond to it as didn’t want roe over text on child’s bday. I felt so upset as been good friend and one child chosen they have just met recently. I feel friendship counts for nothing. I already have been pulling away as realise she is not that genuine or kind or inclusive to me but this has really done it.
I have not seen on her own to discuss, just in a group by chance and was awkward as I was really distant and off. I don’t know how I am supposed to react to this ‘ ah lovely, thanks so much. Hope they all have fun!’
My child says they don’t care but they mask a lot. They are really kind, popular and well behaved etc so is not owing to behaviour.
I feel the Mum has resented me for a while a am more outgoing and independednt so this is her way of hurting me. Husband said that a step back. Close friend said let it slide but I am not fake and don’t know how to move forward. Will be really awkward now and can already see mutual friends siding with her as their kids went etc
Am I wrong to be hurt, she could have paid the fee for one extra to not ruin the friendship so doesn’t care. I get it is child’s choice and smaller parties as older but this has hurt me and I just feel I am so inclusive and have helped her so is a kick in the teeth. I would be keen to hear if AIBU and how you should react and move forward. I guess I don’t want to really as more of a frenemy than friend but will see each other around the neighbourhood and be awkward.
Thanks