To gain weight intentionally?

[Tooskinny]

Anyone ever done it and felt good about the results?

I'm tall and skinny, always been slim. But at 37 and post kids am slimmer than ever with a BMI of 18.5. I'm struggling with my energy levels and needing to sleep a lot to feel human (9 hours). I think I'm starting to look haggard and I disappear when I turn to the side.

The thing is, my diet is excellent. All from scratch, minimal processed food. I eat dark chocolate every night and a glass of wine a few times per week. I don't feel I restrict anything so I'd have to intentionally add quite a bit which feels so counterintuitive. Plus maybe it'll all just pile on my stomach and I'll still look haggard...? I have daughters and am starting to feel uncomfortable about being so skinny.

I can't find anything online because all the dietary advice is tailored towards people who are overweight. Please no 'nice problem to have' - I'm starting to feel really self conscious about it.

I'm one of those people at the other end of the spectrum...

But, to gain weight in a healthy way, can you up your protein and carbs and do gym workouts to build muscle?

Have you ever just done a quick calorie count of a typical day? You say you have always been slim but have you been losing weight recently?

Well, one question could be if you're deficient in something. Low iron or B12? Have you had a blood test recently?

What are you eating?

I'm in a similar position - 38 with a BMI that hovers slightly below 18. I don't have any advice as I also feel like I eat well so interested in the replies as I feel I might be too thin.

Have you thought about visiting the GP? They may have some good advice or be able to refer you to a nutritionist.

My younger brother was very self conscious about being skinny. He started with protein powder and creatine, trained with a personal trainer and focused on free weights at the gym. He built muscle and size rather than fat and feels much better about himself. He eats lots of protein and good carbs.

People understand fat shaming but "skinny shaming" is underestimated and it really makes people feel shit, hope you get sorted.

OP there is definitely lots of info online about how to gain weight in a healthy way - plenty of people go through this due to illness, naturally slim, mental health etc etc etc.

here are the first two results when I googled ‘help to gain weight healthy’:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/underweight/faq-20058429

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/managing-your-weight/healthy-ways-to-gain-weight/

I'd add more nutrient dense foods and healthy animal fats. Eggs on buttery sourdough, avocado, cheese, 10% fat greek yoghurt, glass of whole milk, red meat.

I would say focus on strength training - it is fun, will build muscle and definition so you might still be skinny but also strong and I think you will start to feel better about your body for what it can do and not what it looks like. But could also be worth a chat to GP if you are losing weight and needing lots of sleep just to check no other issues

The advice given to people who need to put on weight after illness is as follows. Eat little and often and increase calories by adding fat. So add FF milk, greek yogurt, butter, cheese, cream to your normal diet. Avocado and nuts are also good. If you're consuming more calories then your energy will increase and you'll be able to do muscle building exercise.

I can relate, I am the same. I have no real advice as I have come to accept that this is the way I am made. I am 47 btw and find makeup/good skincare helps the hagginess enormously. Things like hairstyles and necklines, as well as colours can work wonders too.
Have you ever tried focusing on building muscle instead of just gaining weight?

I don’t think this is a silly post at all op. I have quite a few friends in their forties who lost weight and, while not as low as that BMI, it has definitely aged them so I think there is an age at which thinness does promote a slightly more haggard appearance . I would also say I was a similar bmi for many years to you and was advised to nudge it very slightly upwards for pregnancy. I was amazed that in fact I felt far healthier on many fronts when pushing over 20 bmi, so I do think there is definitely a “ sweet spot “ that may differ for different individuals. If I needed to put on weight now I would do it with calcium rich foods for my bones!

Oh, and when I say 'good skincare', I do not mean expensive, unnecessary shite. I mean a decent routine, morning and night, every day.

Teen dd has been under a dietian for low weight. Things we were advised to try (but were told not to do all at same time).
We were encouraged to swap everything up so full fat milk instead of semi.
Add high calorie foods in eg cream in a hot chocolate, curry or over fruit.
Have three meals and 2 snacks a day.
Get into food routines.
Add an extra tablespoon to a meal (eg usually do half pasta half sauce) as that probably won't overwhelm if it's the same food just a slightly bigger quantity (over 3 meals that's a good few calories).
Dd is slowly putting on weight and is now in a good routine, so seems to be helping.

YANBU, apart from this bit...

I have daughters and am starting to feel uncomfortable about being so skinny.

It sounds a bit ridiculous that you're uncomfortable about explaining humans come in different shapes and sizes.

Try and gently increase portion sizes, and eat plenty of non refined carbs. Potatoes, oats, brown rice. And add more fruit, dried as well as fresh.
If you don't like eating large portions you can use nutrition supplement drinks, like ensure compact. They give 300cals and are only 125mils. If you keep them in the fridge they're quite pleasant. I've tried others but they don't taste as good and are bulkier. You can use those as a top up if you struggle for time and have quite small stomach capacity.
Snack on nuts, cheese, full fat yogurt, hummus with veg and crackers etc. And if you like sweets or chocolate have a bit more of that too!
It's great to try and be a healthy weight. But it's true a lot of info online is either for weight loss, or weight gain for ED.

I would say a really great place to start is to assess your current diet objectively - you could post it here to get outside opinions. It's really common for our perception of 'good' and 'healthy' and 'enough' to be warped by lots of different factors and reasons, and it's very easy to fall into habits - how often do you stop and look at your diet enough to remember what you ate for the last two weeks - I know I'd struggle! Rather than a short term 'okay I need to eat burgers twice a week' it's better to look at your current diet and go 'actually, I don't eat until 11am and then just have a 3 egg omelette, breakfast too early makes me nauseous, so maybe I could add some ham or beans or cheese in there' - sustainable changes that fit in with you.

I eat loads of good fats, regularly etc. I just think I'd really have to be stuffing myself to get my weight up which feels strange! (And would it actually be healthy?)

Breakfast - full fat greek yoghurt with toppings of nuts, seeds, berries, peanut butter
Lunch - homemade bread, butter, eggs, feta, salad.
Dinner - varies - usual family meals (roast chicken, pasta dish, fajitas) plus veg. Followed by wine and chocolate.

Odd piece of cake or pastry or some crisps. Pretty normal, I think! I have tried to count and think it comes out at about 2000.

Yes. All clear.

Are you tall? Have you been to GP to make sure nothing else is going on?

I would imagine your portion size is a lot smaller than you think (opposite to most people problem!). All the people o know who are veering to underweight are convinced they eat like a horse but whenever we meet they always alter the meal to reduce carbs in particular or have a salad but ask for no dressing.

eg you say you eat dark chocolate - how much do you eat of an evening?

as with people who need to lose weight I think you need to do an honest assessment over a few days

I know that rationally but I am seriously boney! My daughter bashed her head hard on my breast bone and I just felt so rubbish that I wasn't the snuggly type of mum if that makes sense!

Yes, am tall. You may be right on portions - they could be normal for a much smaller person, I'm not sure.

You don’t say how old your kids are but how do your portions stack up against the rest of your family?

think of a plate - say a chicken breast, new potatoes and broccoli florets. How much Do you have of each?

I would see the GP though as it is important you Rule out any other Deficiencies/issues

Being too thin is not a problem I'm ever likely to have! But there is absolutely nothing weird or wrong with wanting to gain weight intentionally - if you feel you're too thin, or that your size is connected to feeling weak or lacking in energy, then it's perfectly sensible and healthy to be considering trying to gain a bit of weight.

A friend of mine (a bloke, but same rules apply) was always quite slim and wiry, but he became very thin after a very serious illness and when he didn't start to put weight on once he'd recovered, he was advised to continue eating a healthy and balanced diet but to ramp up the more nutrient dense elements. Basically, plenty of protein, healthy fats, and a decent amount of carbs. I remember him eating a lot of oily fish, upping the red meat a bit, lots of things like full-fat yogurt and full-fat cream cheese, peanut butter, olive oil, eggs, nut-based snacks, porridge made with whole milk etc. Plus all the usual fruit and veg. Exercise-wise, he joined a gym and focused a lot on strength rather than cardio so he was building muscle.

His doctors also said that, if he was still struggling to gain weight, they might suggest he start having protein shakes in addition to his normal meals, but he didn't need to do that in the end.