To dislike wfh

[Wfhalone]

This is the first wfh role I've had, initially I was looking forward to it as it was meant to be 2 days in 3 wfh, but here we are about 9 months in and I hate it. Part of my team does 1 day a week in the office (if lucky) the rest always wfh. They all seem to love it. Other people are sometimes in from other teams and depths but I don't know them, they're in their own groups and would just be sitting on my own anyway so to go in by myself is a waste of time.

I can't stand the loneliness and isolation any more. I rarely speak to anyone, I find it hard getting out of bed and making any kind of effort so am usually like a scruff all day and when the day finishes I just want to do nothing. I find it really hard to focus and concentrate. Anyone else feel like this? I don't mind my job but feel I could do it better in an actual office environment. I haven't been here a year but am starting to put out feelers out for what else is out there as I don't know how much longer I can go on,which unfortunately means I'll probably have to take a paycut too.

If it's your first time wfh, it can be hard to adjust. I started a new job during the first week of lockdown so obviously that was enforced wfh and I didn't know anyone in the company so I felt very isolated. It probably took me a good year or longer to settle in as a result (it would have been so much easier if I could have started in the office and actually met people).

But now, 4 years later, I love wfh and only drag myself into the office once a week. What works for me is having plenty of human interaction (whether I'm wfh or in the office) so I make sure I have Teams calls every day - usually work meetings but sometimes just a virtual coffee and catch-up with a colleague or two. You do have to make the effort at first to really build relationships with people virtually but it can be very rewarding. It's a different way of working.

I work for an organisation with offices all over the world so even if I'm in the London office, I'd still be sitting on Teams calls talking to people in Asia / US / continental Europe rather than face to face in the office.

You need to have some social connection in your day, so if its not through work, can you get out? Meet a friend for a coffee break? Go to the gym with someone? WFH saves people from one miserable thing (commuting) but if you're not careful it introduces something worse (loneliness).

This is the problem everyone is so wrapped up in their own things, we'd never do a call just to have a chat really...there's one person on my team who you can have a wee chat with but that's like one a week or two. When you call with a question most people rush through it to get you off the line, our workloads are pretty intense too so I don't think that helps.
I do try to get out in the evenings after work even for a dog walk.
I think I just miss going in everyday and having a chat and a bit of a laugh, even talking about what we're watching on TV... There's none of that. I guess I don't feel like I really know anyone either so it's tough

Your home set up is a huge factor imo. Having a dedicated office with great chair/desk/monitors is incomparable to working on a laptop on a wobbly chair on a child's desk.

Totally get you. I plan weekly calls with a couple of people and we get a cup of tea and just chat. Because we've lost that not being in the office. I'd say do a bit of that, go into the office and mingle with other teams where you can. Either that or change jobs as its not for you. I love it, I wouldn't want to go back to office working, but fully appreciate that doesn't work for a lot of people.

Can you go into the office OP? As in is it allowed? I go in even when the rest of my team go in once every 2 weeks, I just much prefer to get up and out and sit at a desk in an office etc

Of course you're not unreasonable.

I'm a remote worker and love it, but different strokes for different folks. There are no universals for this kind of thing. It doesn't matter whether other people love wfh, you don't. I'd start looking and see what's out there for you.

Yanbu. Wfh doesn't suit you, It isn't for everyone.

I love it. I don't waste time or money commuting. I'm a single mum so I drop ds at the school bus, no stress, and be at my keyboard at 8am.
I can put washing on before I start and put it on the line at lunchtime. I can put supper in the slow cooker at lunchtime, so I reclaim my evening.

But It doesn't suit you. Talk to your boss. See what (s)he can suggest.

I make sure I've got a couple of things in my diary during the week such as a coffee or lunch with a friend or a walk. I also joined a gym and go to classes at 5pm twice a week ... this ensure I switch off the laptop on time and get out, otherwise it's easy to drift into the evening working.

Could you explain to your manager you’d like to go in more often and could you be introduced properly to the other teams who work in the office so you could feel more comfortable sitting with them if you go in?

You mentioned having a dog, I find a lunchtime walk is nice to break up the day rather than wait until evening.

It’s fine to acknowledge it’s not for you- there’s nothing wrong with not liking it. It has been a huge and very rapid change in working practices so it’s not surprising that it will take a while to shake down and then people who don’t want to wfh will probably just choose different careers at the outset. What is your sector like generally? Are there other companies locally you could work at where there is more in person interaction?

I would be the same tbh- my sector has pretty much gone this way so I suspect I’ve basically retired because I don’t want a wfh role.

I do not enjoy it , I find it lonely and isolating. But it is handy to be home when the kids get in etc.

it wouldnt my choice but the pay has kept going up and my commute costs zero so I’ll keep at it.

It's never going to suit everyone, same as full time out of home doesn't suit everyone.

I know you said there's no point going in to sit on your own, I do understand that. But if you make it a regular thing, you may well get talking to the other people you don't currently know. It's still a change of scene and you're getting out of the house. Otherwise there is really no option but to look for another job.

I couldn’t wfh full time. I’m not far off retirement and always worked from an office until covid.
I have the option to wfh full time if I want but am typically in the office 3-4 days a week as are most of my team.
I do like the flexibility I have these days though

Can you ask your line manager about team socials or team building experiences? This is really important if you're all WFH. If they don't do this then it doesn't feel like it's going to be the right place for you. You need some element of social interaction and I totally get it...it's almost impossible that you'll get to know your workmates enough so that you have some degree of connection without spending time together - informally online or in person.

On to things that you can do to make difference. I 100% think you need a better routine...you should at least be getting up, washed and dressed...then ready to start your work day at 9am (or whenever it is). You need to create some separation between your home life and your work life.

I highly recommend getting up early, getting to the gym or taking a walk outside...having some day before the work day starts. I would never, ever, start working while in pyjamas or unbrushed/unwashed or anything like that. You need to create an office-style routine.

A dedicated office space is also key. Personally, I also put my shoes on as well as I find working in socks or slippers let's me get too comfortable...and too comfortable makes me lose my discipline.

Not unreasonable, a few people I work with hate it and mostly go on site, just like a few people love it and never want to go in.
Is there a limit to how often you can go in? Could be worth discussing whether you can have a permanent desk on site? Some people in my work have done this.