How to discourage this man?

[Iknowaguywhostoughbutsweet]

It's someone I work with, I sense he may be interested, but I'm not.
I'm normally the type to just say 'im sorry but I'm not interested ' but he hasn't asked me out/said he likes me so he could easily turn round and say 'Oh I only wanted to be friends.'

We have nothing in common, we've both been to 1 or 2 of the same countries, that's it. I mean we don't have any similar interests.
He knows nothing about me, apart from my age. He's never asked anything about my background, interests etc.
He asked me once where I live, then forgot and asked the next day.

It's not even like we're having really interesting or fun conversations, it's just small talk but he keeps forcing it. And I can't cope with the constant use of was instead of were 'What was you gonna do' and the use of your instead of you're.

He went on holiday and sent me a picture of his feet to show me sunburn? Like why on earth did I need to see a pic of his feet, I barely know the guy.

This is my fault because I started chatting to him on the basis of friendship, but I've clearly given the wrong impression. I've also noticed his closest friends at the office are women with long blonde hair under 25, and he's 40.

He hasn't done anything wrong and I know I'm being harsh, I just don't see the point of this constant inane, forced chat on WhatsApp.

I don't like slow fading, I wouldn't like it done to me. What to do?

So this is all happening on WhatsApp? Just don’t reply any more.

It is mainly as I've been on holiday and he was on holiday before me, so it's been a couple of weeks. I just feel bad not replying because we work together and have mutual friends, so I feel a bit trapped into a corner.

Yep. Just turn off the blue read ticks and turn off last online. So he can't tell if you have read messages etc.
He'll get bored

I may have to, just fear it'll be awkward at work. He might tell people I 'ghosted' him etc.

But you've done it for everyone not just for him.
Just say that you're trying to minimise screen time/phone distractions so have switched off all alerts etc. Loads of people do it

That's a good idea, maybe I'll have to.
We also have Teams instant messaging, I'm worried he'll message me on that when I get back to work.

So what if he tells people you've ghosted him?! Don't #BeKind. You have no obligation to encourage this at all, if it's not what you want.

Did you take him up on the picture of his feet? You should have made it very clear that it was inappropriate and unwanted.

Just ignore him. Smile, nod, walk off. Don’t answer WA, not that hard. He’ll move on to somebody else.

And stop worrying about offending him! He's offending you, isn't he? And I bet he's not in the least bit worried about that.

So what, though? He’s a semi-literate bore who sends you photos of his sunburnt feet.

Personally I think a slow fade as you’ve described it is perfect for this situation. Take longer to reply, don’t ask him any questions, just distance yourself more.

I just ignored it, it just came completely out of nowhere.
I'd actually shut down the convo a week prior and thought that was it, then out of nowhere, here's a picture of my sunburnt feet!

You know what, yes you're right. Why am I so worried about not seeming 'kind'. This is what women are conditioned to believe.

‘I heard you ghosted Paul’
’Erm yeah, he sent me pictures of his sunburnt feet?!’
’Ahhh, say no more’

This is the exact scenario when a slow fade should be used if you aren’t prepared to be blunt and say you aren’t interested in conversing anymore.

Agree with the slow fade. I find putting a thumbs up to a message an effective way to end a conversation without totally ignoring someone. Not to a picture of sunburnt feet of course. Give a brief perfunctory reply to any question, don’t ask any in return and use the thumbs up for any statements.

No! That will only encourage him to think that he's in a conversation with the OP.

Do not engage at all. And delete him from your contacts/WhatsApp group.

I think I'll be able to do it :)
Thank you

Just ignore his messages. Block him or at least archive him so you don’t see them coming in. You’ll need to be blunt for him to get the message.

You don’t like the slow fade but it has its uses. In fact, I’m not sure I’d even be slow about it. Just stop replying.

Do you see him often? Can you say you now have a boyfriend? IME men like this dissipate like vapour at that point

He has crossed a line. He knows he has crossed a line. He is testing your boundaries.

If you continue to engage with him he will attempt to cross further lines, while maintaining plausible deniability.

This is not a person who deserves your kindness. His behaviour is unwelcome and unprofessional. If I were you I’d block him.

I would put him on mute and reply after long delays and only very occasionally if he keeps sending messages. That way you aren't ghosting, but you are too busy and hopefully he will find someone else with whom he can engage.

If he sends you a Teams message about anything other than work, talk to your manager about the situation. It really isn’t appropriate and needs to be dealt with.

Only a suggestion if she doesn’t want to completely ignore. I have never given my personal number out to work colleagues aside from either line management responsibilities or when we have fully become friends. I have no issues being considered impolite and would totally ignore this ridiculous behaviour, but am aware others are not as uncaring about what others think! Ha