AIBU to 'kind of' understand grandmothers breaching boundaries

[Grannyinnwaiting]

DD in hospital - first grandchild. It's hugely exciting and she's way overdue they are inducing.
I am a pretty balanced mum - I only offer advice if solicited, only comment positively, provide lots of moral support - and have a close relationship with DD.
I follow all the barmy stories of mothers and MILs being instrusive around DGC with interest and never really got it until now. I'm beside myself I'd like ideally to be at hospital ( not geographically possible) and would like to check in with SIL every couple of hours. Taking loads of will power to be restrained ( it's not about me) but it's so hard-

Any grandmothers out there willing to admit they knowingly crossed lines before or after the birth. Why did you do it and how did you/do you justify it. I'm not planning to BTW

I'm a FTM and my baby is 3 weeks old. When I was pregnant both grandmas were really overbearing and grabby, it really upset me and made me feel like they wanted MY baby for themselves, I couldn't understand why they would be so obsessed with a baby that isn't theirs and it made me not want anyone around after the birth because I felt like they would hog my baby and I wouldn't get my precious bonding time.

Now my daughter is 3 weeks old I am very attached to her and just want to cuddle her all the time, I barely put her down. I am already thinking I don't want her to grow up, I want her to stay my baby forever and how much I will miss her beinf a small cuddly baby when she's older. I can ALMOST understand their behaviour because it must be lovely to have a baby in the family again when you miss your own child being a baby.

However when I am older and feeling this way I hope I will remember how much the grandmas intrusive behaviour upset me as a young mum and hopefully will contain myself.

My mum reined it in after being told to back off several times, she gave me a weeks space after birth and when she visited held baby for a short time then respectfully gave her back and talked to her while I held her, I'm really grateful. My MIL tried to force her way in days after birth after being told several times to stay away as I wasn't ready for people in my space and now when she does visit she hogs my baby for hours and only gives her back to feed then does the "grabby arms" again. I hate her being here around my baby and I can't stand the sound of her constant baby voice and cooing to my daughter I just want her OUT!! I never had a problem with her before my pregnancy but now I cam't stand her. I will try to remember this when I'm a grandma and missing my baby being a baby.

So basically since giving birth I can ALMOST understand the behaviour like you say in your post but I would expect someone who had been a new mum themselves once to be more respectful and back off because she is MY baby and this woman has no right to just come into my house and take her from me. Well done on having self restraint I'm sure your daughter really appreciates it! I'm so grateful my mum has been really respectful since I gave birth!