To expect my DS to behave better?

[ShabbyChic999]

One of my children, DS who is 15 is very difficult in terms of getting on with the family. I suppose it's his age but it's very extreme compared with other teens. We are currently on holidays in Greece, he didn't want to come, doesn't like the sun, doesn't like the beach, doesn't like spending time as a family, and is letting us all know it. We have rented a house with a pool and he just stays inside the house nearly all the time reading. He only comes into the pool in the evening once there's no sun on it. He won't come for a walk to the local town during the day and we just have to force the odd day trip. He very reluctantly comes out for dinner in the evening, he just doesn't want to spend any time with us and wants to be at home 😢

I'm feeling torn between wondering if he has a point (not everyone likes the sun,) or is he being a spoilt brat, complaining about coming away and letting everyone know how he feels?

Interested to know what you guys think 🤔 💜

well, you are all there now, I would give him a big hug and tell him how glad you are that he is there with you, and how much you love it when he does join in.

I would hate and loath every minute of this type of holiday myself.

Next time, he needs to have some input into where you are going and what you are doing.

My teens were very sporty, and their input into holidays was always sport based, a football match included in the itinery, or a couple of basketball matches, or once we went to an ice hockey match.

Where actual matches haven't fitted in with the days we are available to travel, we have included visits to sports stadia, behind the scene tours, and sports museums

Teens need family time, but they also need their likes and preferences to be heard when planning family time

As long as he is safe just let him crack on and you enjoy your holiday.15 year olds are awful.

haha! That has just reminded me of a visit to a tiny island where my sons seemed to somehow get included in the local football team and be on the team sheet for a match the next day in the time it took me to unpack our suitcase 😂

At that age we brought friends of DS with us on holiday. Made it more enjoyable for us all.

Couldn’t he have stayed home with one of his mates

@malachitegreen

That's excellent.

At 15, probably the last thing in the world he wants to do is be on holiday with his family, and I think that's perfectly normal. I remember how much I hated family holidays in my teens and would have given anything to have gone away with my friends or stayed at home. My parents always did their very best, and planned exciting holidays, staying in lovely hotels, but at that age, I just didn't want to be with them.

It's his holiday too so I'd let him get on with it.

She didn’t say she was in England.

Interesting, i read this out to my 13 yo DD expecting her to sympathise but she said he's being a brat! (I will remind her of this next time she hates us all!)
I do sympathise though, i burn easily and hate sitting in the sun , if there was no shade I would be in the house reading too. I would leave him to it really, but I do think he should be making an effort to have at least some evening meals with you

Well if he does not like the sun, beach etc. then seems an,odd holiday to expect him to enjoy, sure he shouldn't be rude but leave him to get on with it

@Butchyrestingface that’s why I asked have they finished school as in finished for the school holidays.

Thanks so much all, it's great to know (though seems obvious now) that this kind of holiday isn't for everyone. The rest of us love the sun and to me it seems like he's very withdrawn and removes himself from us which concerns me. It was supposed to be a big treat so I am disappointed that he's not enjoying it. But we did try and include him in the decision, he just didn't offer any preference over where to go.
I'll try and meet him in the middle, my other son and DH have gone off to the beach today and I'm hanging out at the house with the other lad.

He has finished up school for the summer (we are not in England)

Do you find it hard to adapt to have a 15yo like this @ShabbyChic999. Not just on holiday but at home too? Did you give him an option to stay with relatives/mates instead?

Identical here. DS at 16 - these types of holidays were boorrring, wanted activities, action and always to be doing something every day. Got moody bored and fed up after a few days. Said it’s not my sort of thing blah blah blah.

Wind forward 4 years, him and gf are off for a weeks’ AI to Spain.

its a phase. An ungrateful irritating phase. But it will pass.

Sounds like me when I was 15! If he's happy reading inside leave him to it. It's not like he's rebelling by disappearing on all-night benders or being openly rude to you. He'll grow out of it.