I think my partner doesnt really pull his weight

[Chrissie377]

I dont think he does 50% of what he should do. Im on mat leave and returning to work soon (I'm wfh mainly). He also doesn't help a lot with housework. I still get my me time and go out and he does help but not enough.

He went also 2 days to stag recently. I can't help but feel some type of resentment which I'm not sure it's normal

What does he say to you when you challenge him on this? Is he amenable to doing more, or does he somehow perceive he does enough?

No he knows he can do more and he said that

Yea honestly the resentment is real. I feel exactly the same

Doing his share of housework etc is not 'helping', it's pulling his weight and not some kind of favour to you. I bet he calls looking after his own child 'babysitting'.

Totally understandable and normal to feel resentment.

Are there some housework tasks that it wouldn't matter so much if they weren't done, like tidying, that you could leave to him? Tell him he's not pulling his weight and needs to do it and don't give in and do it yourself.

This depends on your tolerance levels though, it might be more stressful to put up with living in a mess waiting for him to do it.

I just had to let my standards drop, and if DH doesn't do it, it stays like it. Nearly bloody killed me for about a month but things have improved. We also have a cleaner once a week so I know that everything is surface clean and we split the cost. I read on here once that it's "weaponised incompetence" and it all suddenly became very clear.

I think that's the best thing tbh but I'm trying to make sure if he goes out I sure thing am going out soon too. He doesn't hold her also as much as I would like. From threads here and from other conversations I gather most men are like this more or less

Ask him to…

I will definitely ask him outright. Being diplomatic doesn't work