When can I start leaving my kids overnight without them being so upset about it ?

[bikeyms]

They're 2 and 4 now.

I have left them over night before. I had to travel for work last year, probably 4 times in total. Once for 5 days.

I just did it, with gritted teeth. They had DH/MIL/ SIL / BIL doing the usual stuff I do. Pick up from nursery, dinner, bath and bed time.

I called them sometimes on Facebook but not too much. I think they really missed me a lot. Especially my 4 year old ( she was 3 at the time ).

I didn't enjoy doing it at all. I left the job and I'm not going to take another job that involves travel. But it's going to be hard to find one.

At what kind of age will this stop being so upsetting for kids in general ? Or is it more of a case that I should start getting them to stay at grandmas sometimes and this could help ? Is it easier for them to stay somewhere different? They won't miss me as much there ?

I put them to bed pretty much every night ( we fall asleep together ). Husband doesn't get home until after they've gone to bed. Although at weekends my DD doesn't mind being put ti bed by her dad, which is great.

But I still think if I need to leave, they'll get so upset. I FaceTimed my Husband the other day and my DD was with him upstairs and she started crying because she thought I had gone to work in my office again. I was just downstairs.

I’ve been travelling for work since I went back after maternity leave, up to five days or so at a time. Honestly, I don’t think DS was upset at all. He missed me, but it didn’t break his heart.

I'd say yes, have them stay overnight at grandma's so that they get used to it...
And maybe make sure DH puts them to bed at every available opportunity.

I think some kids are just like that, others are less bothered. Perhaps do more frequent stays with grandparents to get them more used to it.

Mine stay over at their nans every Friday night. They look forward to it and don't miss me. They're also 2 and 4.

If dad is rarely home before bedtime then it’s no surprise that they would be upset.

Yanbu to travel for work but you’ll need people like your h to do more so they are used to dad doing bedtime etc so you can focus on your work while away.

Definitely get them used to staying at Grandma's, and sell it as an exciting thing to do. My DGC regularly stay with me, and love a sleepover. I also found, when they were toddlers, that FaceTime had the potential to be upsetting as they were too small to understand why Mummy/Daddy weren't actually there.

Both my husband and I go away a fair bit and the children have generally been ok with it but we're both equally involved at home. Could the number of people doing pick ups etc be unsettling? Can your husband do most of it? Can he take a bit of leave when you're away (even a few hours a day so he can do drop off and pick up?)

This issue is they're being left with a parent they hardly see. Id insist that on weekends when DH is there he does at LEAST one bed time, building up to two, and he does bedtime. Basically they need to get used to their Father caring for them. If you can throw in the odd sleepover at Nannies when it suits etc great.
Are you saying you're currently unemployed, so you're the default parent for everything?

That's great ! I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you went away for a few days and they stayed with their nan. My kids love going to their grandma's house too, but they only stay a few hours, maybe once every couple of weeks/ once a month.

We need to try and up that time. Dad has only ever put them both to bed alone ( although actually even alone as SIL took my DD to bed and he took DS to bed) so of course it's so weird for them to be out of their routine with just me doing it. Or just knowing that I'm nearby.

If you put them to bed nearly every night and fall asleep with them they will probably be upset for quite a while.

It’s part of their routine and when they will feel the difference most.

Oh I was the default parent even when I was still employed. I quit because I just couldn't do it anymore and imploded.

I don't want travel when I go back to work, but I think I will have to if I stay in my industry.

Quite possibly even the odd week in the US.

Husband has his own business and it's also relentless for him.

I snapped and left my job for a bit. But I do intend to go back to something in a few months.

I need to crack this as well. I can't go on falling asleep with them.

It takes a good 30 minutes or longer out of my day and they always want to lie on me. I have to be in the middle or they fight. It's suffocating.

I have to nip that in the bud. But that's a whole other post ! I think the super nanny technique is the only thing I can really do to crack the bed time thing. Which is essentially just putting them back to bed, every time they get out of bed. As long as it takes.

I put them to bed pretty much every night ( we fall asleep together ). Husband doesn't get home until after they've gone to bed.

I think this is not helping.

Nor does facetiming them when you are away.

How is their father going to help with this, what's his business that he misses every bed time? Id he planning to schedule time to parent when you are away as this doesn't sound sustainable.