To have a serious shopping addiction?

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I have a serious shopping addiction. It sounds trivial to some, but for me, it’s become a major part of my life—perhaps too major. I find shopping to be more enjoyable than almost anything else. Whether I’m happy or sad, I turn to shopping. When I’m happy, I buy things to celebrate. When I’m sad, I shop to cheer myself up. This cycle has led to some financial strain and put me in debt at times, though it's usually manageable.

I’m aware of the issue, and my husband is understandably fed up with it. He’s supportive but frustrated, and I can’t blame him. Despite knowing it’s a problem, shopping remains one of the few things that genuinely makes me happy. I also struggle with depression, and this makes it even harder to break away from my shopping habits.

I’m at a loss for how to tackle this. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you manage to get it under control? Any tips or strategies that helped you would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance for your advice and for reading this.

you sound bored
very bored

what is your life like aside from shopping? work? hobbies? exercise? friends? children?

This must be very very stressful for your husband

What do you do with all the stuff that you buy? Does having it make you happy or does that add to the stress of the addiction?

What sort of things are you buying? Do you use the stuff you buy?

Do you have any other hobbies?

I also love to shop, but I find spending time with good friends, reading a good book or even just watching something good on Netflix and putting my phone away for a few hours stops me doing too much damage

keep the receipts
return the items

Set yourself a budget you can afford & stick to it.
Cut up a credit card?
So easy to give a glib answer, but actually doing something to change is very far from easy, especially as you seem to relying on shopping in the same sort of way that some people rely on chocolate, or alcohol or gambling.
For me it's reading. I know how I'd feel if someone said I had to cut down my book time.
So good luck, and take it slowly. Be kind to yourself, but also, be careful.

YABU of course, but I've been there myself. Maybe you need an ambitious medium term financial goal which is incompatible with spending all your money on stuff you don't need. For me, it was saving up to buy a house.

Have you ever read the Mr Money Mustache blog? It really makes the case for how thrift can make your life better. I'm making it sound obnoxious but he's actually a very entertaining writer. Try this:

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/

Also, if you're reasonably computer literate, maybe you could use Canva or something to make a collage of all the stuff you want to buy, instead of buying it. Maybe that would be enough to give you the sensation of playing with new purchases, without the spending.

I tried to do this, but I'm so crap with computers it takes me all day to do what other people can do in 30 seconds, so I gave up.

What are you doing to sort out your depression? I had a shopping habit when I was clinically depressed. Once I was no longer married and my depression was cured, I no longer felt the compulsion to shop. If I go shopping now, it is for something that I have thought about for a long time and is a considered, rather than impulsive purchase.

I think it is an addiction. You get a little ‘high’ from the transaction.

I try to spend my time doing other things to get the high. Sport is a good one…but then I want to shop all the kit 😂

I don’t have any answers but I hear you.

This reminds me of ‘fantasy shopping’. I fill up my basket, look at all my stuff and then remove it again. It reminds me that I just want to shop and don’t really want the actual stuff all that much.

I'm very similar! During the night feed with my baby I'm always shopping. What I've started doing is just not buying it, or looking on websites i can't afford (harrods etc) and adding everything to my basket but obviously not buying.

It passes the time and stops me from buying yet more stuff for the house!

Ha snap!

Anti depressants and they've generally helped and I definately shop much less but I feel terrible as I've just had a big blow out and spent 2k in two days 🥴

@IamMoodyBlue I definately need to cut up the credit card. I never ever have them as this always happens then I got one recently for a balance transfer and have ended up using it stupidly

I've also considered setting up a fashion social media page to at least be less bored and also give others something useful from my habit. I have so many nice items it would maybe be a good way to share them with others and feel less bad. But my husband thinks it's embarrassing and not a good look as it's materialistic and I'm in a corporate role where people would recognise me

@keeptryinggirl everything you listed except children - we can't have them which probably is adding to the addiction

@TwoThousandAcresofBlueSkyThinking if doesn't add to the stress because I can afford it but it does make me very short lived happy. I don't feel I have much other happiness so it's the one thing keeps drawing me in

If you can afford it and there isnt a storage problem, is it a problem?

What would be the difference in what you're doing and someone who goes out for a run twice a day (as long as its not harming them)?

'Addictions' if thats what it is, are only a problem if the behaviour starts to interfere with your functioning and life in a negative way.

You cite your husband is getting frustrated with it but in what way, is it because you're not focusing on other things and only shopping?

@soupfiend DH gets annoyed because it means I sometimes run out of money to do things around the house or go on more holidays

It's the short term high and thrill, but then you come down to earth with a bump and feel bad, so you start the cycle all over again. Do you know what it is that makes you seek the high? If not, that might be where you need to start.

@unsync boredom sometimes. Complete boredom and also a love for fashion

Basically you need a new hobby to obsess over and give you the high.

Do you have any interests aside from fashion?

Could you sell some of the stuff you have bought and recoup some money that way? Do you regularly go through everything you own? I would imagine that would be sobering.

Or maybe see GP and see if your medication needs adjusting?

£2k in two days! Ooft. Where are you wearing these clothes?

how old are you?

Yes, so it is impacting negatively that way

Is there a way to have a shopping pot? And just stick to that?

Im a shopper myself, I would call it my hobby, its harmless as I can afford it at the moment and just like buying things.