To feel so burned out and not know what to do?

[TheStarburstConcept]

I've got a 2.5 year old son, who has been in major "Mummy" mode for over a year.
I'm self-employed. I took an agency job for stability at the end of last year, and was then made redundant as they lost a big contract, so I'm trying to build that back up.
DH has a part-time job, due to a health condition.
I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago. I thought I was okay about it but my best friend is preparing to go on mat leave in a few weeks and that's hurting. I'm so happy for her, genuinely, but also so sad for me.

I feel so, so burnt out. I am astonishingly tired all the time. I'm not managing to stay awake much beyond 8pm most evenings. I feel numb, and sad. There's no break in sight... I'd like to book a holiday but it seems unwise until the business is more successful, but I'm struggling to focus on that while feeling so tired and burned out. The last three holidays we've gone on, I've worked through.

I usually really enjoy my toddler, but at the moment the days feel like a monotonous blend of waking up at 5am, bath, fight to brush teeth, find stuff to do to fill the day, avoid him napping, keep him happy until 6pm, start bedtime routine, bedtime at 7pm, downstairs at 7:30, bed at 8pm...

I feel lost. DH is great and has been applying for FT jobs to give me a break, but he's unlikely to get one, and he does loads anyway.

Any advice? I need to find time to get fit - I'm in a lot less pain when I'm fit - but I can't find the energy right now.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Could you possibly be anaemic? I know after one of mine it took a while for me to get my energy back.

Accept where you are just now. Rest when you can. Go to bed at 8pm. Focus on recovery, not pushing yourself to do more.

The holiday can be booked later. You can take small steps to look at fitness but don't put pressure on yourself.

Second the possibility of anaemia. So sorry for your loss.

Drop some balls and prioritise yourself for once. Use easy foods- doesn’t have to be unhealthy. Choose easy options with your toddler and rest as much as you can.

Take care.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and for your loss.

It could be a number of things. 2.5 is a challenging age. Very active, very opinionated, very full on. Lovely, but also a lot.

The tiredness may also be related to the miscarriage. It can be hard to grieve when you have a little person to look after. Also, it can be a hard loss to grieve anyway. I felt really disconnected after my losses, because most people didn’t know so I was kind of carrying on as normal whilst trying to process everything.

You clearly need a break. I hear what you’re saying about the holidays, but can your husband take the toddler tomorrow morning to give you a few hours? I know it’s just a few hours. I’ve also been where you are, where it feels like it won’t touch the sides. But it will help. My husband and I split the weekend and take either Sat or Sun AM. Just knowing I have some time to myself is amazing. To begin with I just slept. Now I often do an early yoga class, then come home for a bath and some time on the sofa reading my book.

It will get better. Hang on in there. Once you’ve had some rest get yourself moving — an exercise class will help, but you need to be in the right place and have the energy to give to it.