Feeling left out

[Hubhubba26]

My DS age 5 has a best friend at school. They get on great. Best friend had been to our house for 2 successful play dates. Only trouble is he's never been invited back. Best friends mum has been taking her son to the park after school to play with other children from the same reception class. Once again my son hasn't been invited. Am I over thinking this or should I say something? Perhaps I should ignore and just carry on inviting her son over. It's really odd I have to say. X

What makes this kid a 'best friend' though? Kids at that age have many friends

It's hard not to be sensitive on these matters, we all want our kids to make friendships, but I'd try to rationalise a few things:

It's only been two play dates so far, perhaps the situation for the other mum isn't right at the moment to entertain at home? Try to think situationally first and give benefit of the doubt. Your son is happy with the friend coming round so if it doesn't disturb or stress you, is that OK for now?

I don't think you need an invitation to go to the park with your son and for him to play with the others so I'd head down there first to see how it goes. Also a good opportunity to meet other parents and perhaps see if there are other kids that might like a play date? Just try and sense the atmosphere a bit.

I have a (nearly) 5 year old and I have learnt this year that friendships are incredibly fluid. Best friends change on a whim and sometimes one child thinks another is their best friend but it's not reciprocated. Or they're best friends when they play with Lego but not at other times. I just let DS get on with it really. I'd rather he have lots of friends than a 'best friend'.

But also, I'd just go to the park if they're going! You don't need an invite.

Agree with @mynameiscalypso just go along to the park.

Edited to say, don't say anything to the other mum (your son may consider him his best friend, but it may not be reciprocated - they are 5)

regardless of ‘best’ friend or not. She’s accepted your hospitality of her son. She should reciprocate. Some people have no manners.

She’s probably friendly with the other parents who are going. Can’t you just show up sometimes and join in?

Its a shame about the play dates but as discussed here regularly some people really just can’t or won’t host.

She might not be able to host you due to living situation. But she accepted your invites. Her son can also have play dates with others. I wouldn't overthink it.

2 play dates...you are overthinking! Do you take your son to the park? Do you take her child when you take your son to for an example soft play? People can do their own thing and that's totally fine!