Sports day shock

[Mrslarge24]

My children have recently had their sports days.
I have one very sporty child, and one that gets very anxious about anything sport-related and dreads sports day! Much like myself as a kid.
One sports day was for y3&y4, the other was for Y5 & y6.
I was amazed at the lack of general fitness in so many of the kids.
They had to do a "long-distance run" which was about 200m. A huge amount of them couldn't run it all and some didn't even make it half way before walking and panting.
My non-sporty one managed it fine, because although he doesn't enjoy much sport we do go for long walks, he plays in the garden alot and loves swimming with us so has a basic fitness level. Much like myself, I'm no fitness fanatic!
AIBU to think this is shocking to see children of this age not be able to run/jog 200m?!
i guess it's computers/iPads etc but at what point does a parent start to feel ashamed to have let their children get so unfit?!
Made me feel quite sad 😢

Gosh this is an unpleasant little thread!!

I have a child who is academically bright but hopeless at sport (dyspraxia diagnosis if you're interested)

He dances he swims, he does 8 mile walks, he does the daily mile but can he run...no.

However, he's great at maths so what I'd suggest is if you're allowed to come to sports day and publically judge and be "shocked" at my child, I would like the opportunity for the whole school to have a public maths lesson where it is obvious who is good and bad at maths.

I will then smugly start a thread about how my child did really well but how "shocked" I am at children who did less well...I blame the parents of course, for not being better at Maths themselves.

@Quittingwifework
No, it’s not about sports day obviously, but It’s another layer in feeling rubbish about themselves if they’re overweight and unfit. Sports days don’t help these children encourage to form a life long love of sports. Quite the opposite.
As I wrote earlier, well done to those who make their dc take part in sports that they enjoy. Running round the park, swimming etc.

Being good at sport and academically able aren't mutually exclusive.

Oxbridge is full of those who excel at sport.

What OP was mentioning was children too rotund and breathless to actually be able to complete a running race.

That IS concerning.

It’s not just financial, it’s class. There’s a whole cohort of women particularly who would rather die than be fat, and a whole cohort who see fat as totally normal.

i also see a lot of the thin, upper middle class mums, with overweight teenage daughters, and wonder how they feel about that, given so much of their self worth involves being thin.

DS14 does well at sports day, but he's in a football team and plays every chance he gets. He on the whole gets far less exercise than his sisters though.

DD12 hates running, has no desire to do sports day at all, but does swimming once a week and dance for 4 hours per week in clubs and also relentlessly at home. She's fit as hell but unmotivated to do exercise which she doesn't enjoy.

DD8 worked out for sports day, really wanted to do well. She's tiny for her age and just uncoordinated, though she does dance and swimming grace is not hers. She came last in all her races but third in javelin and I made an enormous fuss about that because she tried so hard.

We spend a fortune on the clubs though, it takes all our spare money. Our kids' health is worth the investment of course but we are just about scraping the money together. Plenty of other families can't pay what we pay (even though we're definitely poor, we have family who chip in towards the dance and football).

Trying is so important! {Your 8 year old}
Well done to her.

Third in Javelin is great - It's an art to be able to throw well.

I guess it depends where you live too and what the locality is like. The kids in my son's school seem pretty fit but our village has 2 playparks, a playing field and a cage for ball games so the kids tend to be outside a fair bit. And the roads around us are pretty quiet. I can imagine it's a lot harder to get kids to take regular exercise in more urban areas.

I don’t really think it’s the cost of food so much as your social circle.

If you are around a lot of overweight people and body positivity is preached in your social circle, as it often is in lower class areas, you are less likely to see your weight as a problem. I live in an area with a lot of social housing (I live in SH too) and at the baby group I attend I am the slimmest of all the mums but I am not skinny. I have noticed if someone gets a piece of cake, everyone else follows and gets one too. However, I imagine in upper class areas where the mums often seem competitively fit there would be far less cake consumption. It’s simply not seen as an issue if everyone looks similar or bigger than you and this filters down to the children.

I’m saying that we, as a society, spend a lot of time telling people it’s ok, we know your life is really hard and you are doing your best, just carry on. Or blaming the government for not supporting people enough when often, actually, what individuals are doing is causing harm, particularly to their children, and they shouldn’t carry on. Even if it is really hard.

One year olds in buggys staring at phones. People using their healthy start vouchers to buy the absolute minimum of milk and the rest spent on crap (I’ve seen this countless times). Parents creating when they get a letter home saying their kids obese. Kids with rotting teeth at 5 years old (that’s got nothing to do with not being able to get an NHS dentist, I’m sorry. That’s parents not cleaning their kids sodding teeth).

Yes life’s bloody hard right now. I get it. It was hard for my mum and me growing up on benefits in the 80s. But my teeth never rotted and I was never overweight despite crispy chicken and oven chips.

Yes we need more support from the government. Adding house prices to the CPI basket and lots more exercise in schools and bloody banning UPF would help. Restarting sure start centres and improving subsidies for early childcare provision. But individuals also need to start taking some more responsibility for their own lives and those of their children.

Being good at sport and academically able aren't mutually exclusive.

Oxbridge is full of those who excel at sport.

What OP was mentioning was children too rotund and breathless to actually be able to complete a running race.

That IS concerning.
@oakleaffy

I think you've missed my point quite spectacularly!!

My point is that we wouldn't dream of holding the whole school up for public ridicule in academic subject, we accept that academically kids abilities and aptitudes differ and we support those who find things more of a struggle.

In sport, however, children are generally very poorly supported if they find it difficult and are expected to compete publicly opening themselves up to ridicule and criticism if they find it hard.

If a school held a maths event where it was obvious who the best and worst in the class were and where parents and children were openly judging and mocking the ones who struggled...there would be an outcry.

Sorry @Houseofdragonsisback ti specifically answer your first question - I think there was more judgement in society in the past and I think that as we are much more accepting and kinder now that has brought its own set of problems

Accepting that increasing numbers of primary school kids can’t run on sports days and are obese because their parents are too busy working to cook them proper food and take them to the park just isn’t acceptable. And instead of just saying #bekind maybe we need to be saying this isn’t acceptable, both to the parents and the government, and trying to change something. It’s the kids who are suffering.

Its going to be become like Wall-E.

I was suprised at my children's too.
My daughter (year 3) won every single race by a lot which of course she was thrilled with. But she is not especially sporty, doesn't do any sport outside school (she does drama and brownies), we go for local walks as a family but they aren't big hikes. So if she is the fittest and fastest in her year, then the others must be quite unfit.

As you said some struggled with the 80m, and only the fastest from other races were put in for the 200m. The school has a great ethos of encouragement and participation so every child finished every race they did, but it did make me think that if my very average daughter is the fastest, what on earth is going on with the others.

I’m saying that we, as a society, spend a lot of time telling people it’s ok, we know your life is really hard and you are doing your best, just carry on.

I haven’t said that, I said I understand why some people have it harder. But doesn’t society say that because the more truthful “yes, your life is pretty crap & isn’t likely to improve” is less positive?

Yes we need more support from the government.

So you do agree with me?

Accepting that increasing numbers of primary school kids can’t run on sports days and are obese because their parents are too busy working to cook them proper food and take them to the park just isn’t acceptable.

Where have I ever said accept it or be kind? It’s a travesty, but I think addressing some of the drivers eg expensive housing, shit wages, curriculum is likely to have more of an impact on a child’s health than shouting “take some personal responsibility fatty” but you can disagree.

However, I imagine in upper class areas where the mums often seem competitively fit there would be far less cake consumption. It’s simply not seen as an issue if everyone looks similar or bigger than you and this filters down to the children.

I live somewhere like this, I wouldn’t say this extreme is particularly healthy either. Lots of smoking, disordered eating and so many of my school friends had/have eating disorders because of school pressure, parents etc.

@Houseofdragonsisback

yes, I agree with you that we need more government support

Do you agree with me that parents should clean their child’s teeth and use their healthy start vouchers for, well, healthy food?

Poverty causes many problems but it's often used when poor parenting is the reason. I grew up in real poverty, so I do know a thing or two about it. It's possible to be poor and have fitness. I didn't have much disposable income when my children were younger but they could/still can walk miles and run. It always amazed me when people commented on how amazing it was. No it isn't amazing, nor a high bar it's normal.

So rather than address the issue and get children to lose weight, we just cancel sports day so they don’t feel bad?! Really?!

I recently took the girls in DD's class (Yr6) climbing. I was shocked that the woman teaching the group was shocked that they all took part enthusiastically. She said she often has groups where 2-3 of the girls refuse to join in because they don't want to damage their nails or are afraid they will look silly.

DD's class is somewhat of an exception I think, they are known as the "sporty year" and I doubt any would have difficulty with 200m. Small village primary, 10 girls, 10 boys. 8 of the girls do some form of sport outside of school and 5 compete nationally (all in different sports). 1 of the boys nationally and 3 others at county level, I don't know about the others. They all join in in PE lessons and the teacher took them on a days hike as one of their trips. They all typically play football every break time. The year below is a different story, the teacher had to modify their trip because several of the girls refused to walk as far as planned; only a couple of the boys join in the football at break.

Our village is separated into two by fields and a busy road. There is a play ground at one end, and at the other, the school playing field (1x basketball court and a half size football pitch) and playground is permanently open. And constantly in use if it's not raining. Most families drive everywhere, we are one of the few who don't. The majority of children walk to school.

PE at DD's primary is quite random. They have one double lesson and one single lesson. They work on topics in 4-6 week blocks, get graded on each topic and they are varied enough that not everyone is good at everything. They have standard football, hockey, athletics, dance, tennis but also juggling, skipping, basketball dance(!), volleyball, badminton, gymnastics (rings etc), handball... They don't have a track or sprint strip although they do run around the school building.

Sports' day is not a traditional 100m/200m etc as they don't have the facilities. Instead they do sports day at the start of the school year in mixed year group teams. The aim is for the children to get to know children from other year groups and have fun. They mark out a sprint down the side of the field, long distance is around the school. Other activities are long jump, throwing a tennis ball, finding coins in the sand pit, tug of war, throwing a wet sponge at a teacher. It's all for fun and there are no individual rewards, only team medals. The following day they put a list of the individual sprint/run/throw times on the door. Parents are only invited half an hour before pickup to watch the class relay.

There's a lot I dislike about this school, but they get PE right.

All of this.

agree with the PP who said it’s a slow decline into WALL-E.

@Houseofdragonsisback there has to be both curriculum change, and a greater focus on personal responsibility. I live in a small village in a national park - there should be no excuses for kids living sedentary lives here. It's safe, open access to the countryside, most kids play out. Our rugby is funded so any child can play for free - no subs. After school football club (which doubles as childcare for me) is £4. The mountains on my doorstep are free to climb.

And yet there are so many kids in the primary who are not just heavy, but actually obese. Parents need to take responsibility for that - if your 5 year old is so overweight that they can no longer do normal, human things such as run 200m, you've let them down. I get that it is hard, but children don't need much encouragement to move their bodies!

And I say this as an 44 year old woman with a desk job, I struggle to hit 10k steps during the week, I have half a stone to lose that is really hard, perimenopause is kicking my ass when it comes to my weight. But as a kid, and for most of my adult life, I was skinny/ healthy weight. An obese 5 year old is just going to struggle the whole way through, it's not fair on them

@Quittingwifework the Wall-E comment was me too! 🤣

I don’t know many primary aged kids apart from my DNephew who’s 6.

He’s naturally very active and at weekends does Wing Chung Kung Fu and is learning to swim.

There’s a primary school near my house (2 mins) and kids always seem active in the playground.

What I do seem to notice is:

• less football
• school playing fields seem barely used, changing room long sold off
• netball court in old primary school sold off years ago for parking

Do kids even do indoor gym, country dancing, rounders? Running games like British bulldog.

We regularly used the recreation ground for running competitions around it. Yes there were sporty boys who played football but all sport was encouraged.

Walking to the shops and up and down the steep hills where I lived was encouraged. Even at secondary school a good 20 min walk up steep hills was our only option unless we had bus fare. We were encouraged to get the bus/train and go swimming (in pairs or groups), same with ice skating as we got to 12/13. We had huge free or very cheap big wooden adventure playgrounds in parks. The latter was all 70s/80s so not that long ago. Kids these days are driven 5-10 mins to school. We did snack and did have crisps, sweets and cakes but you rarely saw an overweight child.

Our local parks and playgrounds do seem fairly busy.

I can see why for safety eg playing out isn’t good.

On weekends until I started ballet etc even on Sunday mornings we’d be taken to the local swimming pool.

Fresh air and exercise is so good for you.

Exact same as you only 8 years older. Skinny slim up to late 20s/30 and even then was size 10.

Clothes seem cut more to hide bodies.

It really isn’t that long. My dad was running and winning 400m plus races as a teenager plus hurdling. Normal kid from Hammersmith.