Job dismissal and partner reaction

[keelywheely]

Today I was dismissed from work due to ill health. I've been waiting since April last year for an operation on my stomach. My op was scheduled this Sunday but was cancelled because I am too unwell with very high blood pressure.
Spoke with partner briefly as his signal was bad this morning and he said he'll be home at 3pm and we can talk more then. 3pm came and went and he called at 5:40pm and said he was in the pub. I felt annoyed and put the phone down. I went and picked up little one from nursery and went straight to my mums as felt deflated and needed some support.
Since arriving at my mums, my partner has messaged taking the piss out of me for losing my job.
Am I being unreasonable and should brush this off?

Is he such a complete knob the rest of the time? Or is this some random wankerish but out of character one off?

Ps. I would stay at your Mum's and not go back. Unless it's to ask him to leave.

Wow
Is this how he behaves the rest of the time?
Does he show more empathy with your illness?
Think I'd be staying at my mums tbh

I would brush the boyfriend off! He sounds like an idiot! Sorry about your job and I hope you get the operation sorted soon. x

@keelywheely do you genuinely think it’s reasonable for a partner to make fun of your misfortune, especially when you are obviously very ill too?!? The fact you need to ask makes me think you don’t have very high self-esteem and are used to receiving no emotional support from your partner.

Unless he has some amazing redeeming qualities and this was entirely out of character I think the better question to ask yourself is why are you with this awful man?

Sorry about your job and ill health OP.

What do you meant he was taking the piss out of you for losing your job? I’m not being obtuse, genuinely struggling to imagine what this looks/sounds like.

Is he always such a cruel, unsupportive, selfish prick? He’s the one you need to brush off.

What did he actually say in the messages? Is it possible that you have mis-read them due to how you feel at the moment? Or were they so blatant that you could not be mistaken? If the later, then why are you with him?

1. He doesn't respect you.
2. you're so unwell you can't have your op, so your partner's response is to go down the pub
3. you lose your job so he takes the mickey out of you.

c'mon OP, that's a sackable offence, surely you're not just going to take that from him?

Stay at your mum's he sounds like a cunt.

He said " you're upset because you fucked up and I was there to help you"
I asked what he was on about and where was he when he knew I'd be feeling deflated. That he said he'd be home at 3pm.
He replied "at work like you should be"
I replied "thankyou for being so kind and supportive"
He replied "no worries, ur partner has had a beer after WORKING hard"
I've come home with the kids after having dinner with my mum and he's not messaged or called and will be out partying.
Did I misinterpret the messages?

No - he’s a twat. Does he live with you and is he DC’s father? If not then bin him asap.

Your partner is a dick. Awful behaviour. He should have been with you not drinking. I'm sorry OP.

Your partner is an asshole. Get rid.

He sounds awful. I’m really struggling to wrap my head around this - it seems like he doesn’t view your situation as ill health, that’s all I can come up with and drawing a blank on anything else that would explain (not justify!) his attitude.

Is it bariatric surgery and you needed to follow a strict regime in the run up to to the op? A lot of people don’t see obesity as a disease and aren’t very sympathetic to people with it. I just can’t fathom why someone would say “you fucked up” to someone who’s ill.

Yes he doesn't think I'm ill. That I should do more and just toughen up. I'm not obese (size 12) and surgery is due to hiatus hernia and severe reflux. I'm on a lot of medication and anti sickness tablets but it's still a struggle and the operation being cancelled because my blood pressure was 160/122. I'm now on lisinopril to help with that.
I have still not heard from him. This isn't the first time he has put the pub or partying before the needs of me or the kids.

He’s being an arsehole OP and I’m so sorry for you. You don’t need that nonsense in your life.

Can you leave him as he sounds like an arsehole.

Had a message from him. "Can I come home at some point please? X"

I have not replied.

Your reply should be as follows...

"Yes, as long as it's to collect your things".

No doubt he'll try and say it was just "banter", or he was just trying to lighten the mood. Of course it's neither of those. Someone who is that disrespectful and unsympathetic to your situation needs to be gone.

Jeez OP how much more proof do you need that he's an abusive arsehole. Why are you not planning your life without him dragging you down.

I repeat my previous comment

It's a sackable offence, why are you letting him get away with talking to you like dirt under his foot. He's pondlife.