Conversation with Teacher: Private vs Public

[Popcornlassie28]

Hi everyone,

I want to know if I’m being unreasonable to be annoyed.

I had pre-arranged a meeting with the SEN teacher and Deputy Headteacher at my child’s school. I arranged it so I didn’t have my youngest with me (who has profound disabilities so I could focus on the meeting).

They both came out to meet me and apologised that the room we needed to have the meeting in was not accessible and if we waited until 10 minutes after the end of school, due to the heat we could perhaps chat outside (or have access to a different room inside) but I said outside was fine as there was nobody around.

We all collectively sat on a bench in the far corner of the school grounds (in my opinion it’s apparent it’s a parent and teacher conversation). Anyways, after talking for a while I noticed a boy from my child’s class still roaming around the grounds but thought nothing of it as he was far away- other side of the grounds.

We was talking about some pretty private and confidential things and out of nowhere the Dad of this boy was stood less than an arm length away (not sure how long he was there but long enough to overhear some aspects) and decided to chip in on the meeting with HIS opinions and views and started to talk about his son.

Am I wrong to feel annoyed and like my privacy wasn’t respected?

We was wrapping up the meeting and he suddenly came back and did it AGAIN! I wouldn’t ever dream of butting in on another parent’s conversation with school staff.

He went off half cocked and when I was leaving and was telling me random and useless information that was not at all relevant. He seemed confused by some of the things said in my meeting. MY MEETING.

I explained to him that it was private meeting (the staff did at the time as well) and that there is more to it than what he’s gone half cocked on. I feel livid as he knows much about my child’s progress, diagnosis pathway, struggles, our finances as discussing if private was an option etc. Even about my youngest who will be going there and what support is needed for them.

I just think how dare someone think that’s okay?!

At the start, he wouldnt have realised it wa a meetung juat aomw pwople chatting once wmhe qas told he should have fucked off

@Maddy70 I gave Grace to maybe him not seeing the social cue- it was pretty apparent. Two teachers with clipboards, writing down- it looked formal not just talking about the weather😂

But agreed he should have just fucked off when told directly.

Honestly, I don’t think anyone would reasonable a private parent teacher confetence meeting was happening outside in an area where other parents maybe. I can see why he mis read the situation.

@Sunnysummer24 20 minutes after school has ended?!😂 In a secluded corner? Really?😂😂😂

@Popcornlassie28 So not a single classroom was available? How odd. Mostly schools can find a space inside. Not sure what you can do now.

I think it's fair enough that he thought it was a casual chat at first, but once told he should have fecked off.

This is what is liable to happen if you have a confidential meeting outside in a school playground shortly after the end of the school day, though — I think some of this is on you for choosing the yard rather than waiting for a room. (Agree with a pp that it seems deeply odd there was no room at all available. Do neither the deputy principal nor SEN lead have access to offices? Even an empty classroom?)

@TizerorFizz I know. I guess they assumed if we waited until after school and once everyone had left (not a single soul was around apart from this person and I didn’t see them) that the grounds would be empty and being in the corner of them, it would be fine.

The school grounds are large so we walked all the way to the back corner. They were lovely and stopped talking as soon as he arrived and asked why he was still there this long after school has ended. There was no reasons for it.

He was just being nosy. I wouldn’t dream of butting in on his time with the teachers but people are different these days. Nothing can really be done now.🙃

I think he misread the situation and came over for a nose about. More of an issue regarding why he was still there.

No longer. Meetings are happening. We used to have to fight for one available meeting room. But lack of investment to school buildings mean no extra space

After school the classrooms are empty!! Dc have gone home. I understood this was after school, not 10am!

@Maddy70 This is very true. I didn’t want to have the meeting adjourned to a time where I had my youngest- it would have been impossible (due to her disability). I needed to have this meeting. I waited such a long time. In my opinion, in an ideal world a classroom is best but in the real world, they do the best they can.

It honestly was a private space. It was 20 minutes after school ended so everyone should have left and needed the gate unlocking to be let back in. By the time we walked there and sat after being kicked out of the room we was supposed to go- it was a ghost town and they still took me to a far away corner.

I just feel that once told to leave and the social cue has been directly confirmed, it’s inappropriate to still hover and then wait to ask me about why I needed the meeting when leaving the grounds.

Even after school- I don’t know what is going on there. I guess school finishes for children but not for teachers then. Maybe making phone calls, sorting out their classrooms, dealing with other matters. The SEN room was needed for something, her office is shared and there was a zoom meeting. I mean I have no idea really.

So 20 mins after the end of school and neither the class teacher or deputy head could use their room?