Violent Neighbour is back

[clakster14]

Can't quite believe he's back after 6 police cars had to remove him for attacking her with small children in the house.That was 7 weeks ago.Why would a mother do that to her children,to herself? No social services involvement.Hes a pumped up thug ,I haven't slept, dreading every minute of everyday now he's back.What have we done wrong in life getting neighbours like these,and yes moving is the easy answer but not so easy to do.Sorry for the rant just feel so low .

Well if social services were involved would he be allowed back? Children's school are aware of him being removed so aren't they responsible for safe guarding?

SS OP, those DC could be in danger and she may lie to the school if she's taken him back.

The more people who inform SS, the more SS will have to put a case together. So please report it.

Op there’s every chance he’s not even meant to be there. I had a neighbour a few doors down who got with a man who was incredibly violent, not just to her but to her 4 children. It escalated one night to the point he picked up a baseball bat, beat her in front of her kids, and when her 7yo tried to help his mum he hit him in the face with it, knocking all his front teeth out. Obviously the police and ss were involved and she was told if she ever had contact with him again, her children would be removed. A few weeks later she was spotted down the park by another neighbour, she was secretly meeting up with him with her children, including the one whose teeth he’d knocked out. She’s not allowed her own children unsupervised anymore. Some mothers are vile, I’d 100% be checking up on whether that man should be in that house.

@Aylestone That's harsh to call her vile. The normal responses to trauma are to fight, flight, freeze or fawn. You are describing an example of fawning.

I’m harsh to call a mother vile, as she chose to put her children into the care system so she could carry on shagging a violent man? I can’t begin to imagine the terror on that little boys face when he his mum took him to the park with the man who had recently caved his face in with a baseball bad. Vile is the kindest word I could think of to use for that woman. Baring in mind that I don’t want to hijack the ops post, theres a hell of a lot of back story to it as well

Social Services would have been notified by the police at the time of the incident you describe. There is every chance that they don't know he's back, as they are not issued with crystal balls and neither will the police be doing 24/7 surveillance, even if he's been bailed to stay away from the address.

People take violent partners back every day, to the great detriment of their children and the best and only thing you can do is tell both social services and the police. If you would prefer, go through the NSPCC but it will still end up with the local children's services team.

Report to social services. She will have been told not to allow him back and they will get involved to protect the children.

Have you told the school? Social services? There probably is an agreement in place for him not to be there, but people think after a few weeks no one will notice, and do it anyway.
This is part of the reason why children die, neighbours, friends etc moan about stuff they see with kids but won’t/don’t tell people who can monitor or do something about it!

Yes absolutely phone social services, for the sake of the children's safety

He probably shouldn’t be there so you need to report it because these services won’t have surveillance of the house or know his whereabouts 24/7.

Report to social services instead of complaining that you have to live near them.

Victims of abuse take back their abusive partners all the time. Some people have been so damaged by their abuser they aren't able to live without them. Many parents beg/force their children to accept abuse to protect themselves.

Agree with @Aylestone We’ve got a little family a few doors up. There have been ambulances called and the police have taken the bloke away. He’s back there at the moment. Three little kids under about 7. I mean, what’s wrong with these women

It's still vile not to prioritise your children's safety and happiness

I am fortunate enough never to have been in a relationship with a violent man so although I can't understand how a Mother could allow a man to hurt her children I know that its easy to judge.
Of course this woman should be protecting her DC above everything else but calling her "vile" is pretty awful.
OP, make sure SS knows the man is there, if he is allowed to be then thats up to them but if not they do need to know so they can take action if their Mother can't/won't

Echoing those who say you need to tell social yourself. Was in a similar position once, called social/child protection after I heard arguing and the kids screaming in the night. He wasn't supposed to be there. Loads of previous form.

Social followed it up, went round. She knew neighbours had called, probably me as we lived in the next flat but upstairs had complained to her as well. They moved out soon after. Hopefully on to somewhere safe but fuck knows, maybe back to him. Women tend to do that with abusers. Keep putting themselves and their kids in danger. Its complex. But the right thing is to call authorities. .

Social services will almost certainly be involved. If you are concerned, get in touch yourself.