To ask what should be in a chemo care package?

[ChemoCare]

FIL, 72, has been diagnosed with cancer and starts chemo soon. He has never been seriously ill before and this looks to be stage 4 so it's devastating for everyone.

I would like to send him a little care package. I've looked at the ones online but none of them look like something a 72 year old, practical man would like.

I know it's not an AIBU but can anyone give me any pointers? I'm considering a neck pillow?

Feed his carers ( MIL?) and support them.
( Speaking from experience)

There's a lot of sitting around with cancer treatment. Does he read? Might he appreciate a Kobo/Kindle, that he can use one handed when there's a cannula in the other hand?

Also what @FuzzyPuffling said - he will probably be worried about the people caring for him and it will make him feel better to know they're being looked after in turn.

i bought a friend a lovely pair of socks from here https://www.notanotherbunchofflowers.com/collections/chemotherapy-get-well-gifts
she said they were great when she was having chemo

I’m so sorry you’re all going through this.
Things that really helped me through chemo were:

• good non-metallic cutlery. The metallic taste is horrible & metal cutlery makes it so much worse. Think mine were bamboo.

• Amazon gift card so I could load up my kindle with books or buy movies from prime

• weighted blanket for the sofa days

• soft thick towels - skin can get sore & my new towels were so luxurious

Also, My in-laws sent a card every single chemo, just to let me know they remembered the day & were thinking of me. I kept every one, was lovely to come home too each time.

Hope some of these ideas help.

Gosh that must have been a shock. I'm so sorry ❤️That's a lovely idea. I did something similar when my FIL was going through radiotherapy, so different but hopefully it will help.

Obviously depends on budget etc but if limitless this is what i would buy:

New bag already packed with the care package

MooGoo moisturiser (good for radio, not too sure about chemo)

New water bottle

His favourite snacks (although I knoe chemo makes you sick so maybe don't go crazy)

Comfy pillow

Socks

Vaseline

I have heard chemo makes you really cold so maybe a throw/fuzzy blanket

Entertainment of some kind - todays paper, kindle, phone charger with long wire, book by favourite author (not sure what his level of technology is like)

Not sure if you have kids but a homemade card from grandkids and/or a letter from you both saying nice things

Sugar free boiled sweets to help with nausea

Cook voucher or similar

Depending on How time poor you are, he might also appreciate company.

Sending lots of love x

Helpful, practical gifts from my family and friends that helped me during chemo:

• heated blanket: a godsend! *medication box to keep track of what to take and when *chemo specific cookbooks *vouchers for Cook ready meals *waterproof arm cover (if he is having a picc line)

Hope he comes through treatment ok

My friend sent me a blanket printed with lots of photos of my children, to take in on hospital days. It was lovely and cheering to look down and see their faces! Could you do one of those with his family photos?

Really sorry he needs to go through this - sending good wishes to you all.

It's so lovely that you're thinking of all the nice things that would help him. A gift he probably won't appreciate at first, but probably will later, is a high quality fragrance-free (this is important) moisturiser like Aveena or Ceravee. When his skin is chemo dry he will find it very useful.

Is a care package something he is going to appreciate? A lot of the ideas for chemo care packages tend to be things women would buy for other women.

I bought various things for my DF when he had cancer and TBH he didn't appreciate any of them. They were more things I was doing just because I felt so bad I wanted to do something, anything.

My dad lost a few teeth (he really wasn't happy about that) and his skin was dry. He loved to read so we got him audiobooks and a pile of ones he'd enjoy. Sooky sweets were popular and nice cordials to drink.

I'm sorry to hear of your father in laws diagnosis. I'm going through chemo at the moment. Everyone's treatment is different, but mine makes my mouth and skin really dry. Boiled sweets are good for your mouth, and lip balm / vaseline. A good hand cream is useful. A water bottle with a straw is a godsend. Ginger things for when the nausea hits (gingins are great to keep in your pocket when you are out and about). But honestly, the thing that has meant the most to me is people helping where they can - my sister coming to clean my house when I couldn't get up, my mum coming to every appointment with me. My friends calling to check I'm ok, or giving lifts to appointments, or just letting me whinge about it all without judgment. I hope his treatment isn't too hard on him x

If he's practical would he prefer something to do? I remember a friend who bought specific Lego models (I think of classic cars or trains) for their grandfather going through chemo. Gave him something interesting and practical to do whilst not being well enough to be up and about too much.

Hard to say really, different chemos and different patients...

In this weather, if it's a hair-nuking chemo, maybe hypoallergenic (cancer treatments can sensitise the skin, so be careful with "smelly" gifts) sunscreen and a good sunhat?

A nice water bottle could be good if he doesn't have one, you need to drink a lot on chemo.

When I was on chemo, the only new items I really used were hats, bandanas, sensitive shower gel and baby shampoo.

Depending on which chemo he is having will depend on how long it takes to administer. Mine took 8 hours so was really boring. I had earphones to listen to audiobooks as I couldnt concentrate on my books, and I was freezing so socks were nice.

Alpaca bed socks and maybe wrist warmers or fingerless gloves, cold feet and hands are often a side effect of chemo.

www.soul-destiny.co.uk/alpaca-bed-socks.html

Lipsalve, hand cream, some good books, bed socks, colouring book, pencils to colour with, ....also put easy food to cook in fridge...easy to eat too.

I bought my dad an electric handheld fan. Spent about £30 on it. All through his treatments he carried it with him everywhere and sat with it every night at home.

A phone and power bank, with games etc on.

Water bottle ( insulated)

Vaseline and moisturizer, for dry lips and hands. The hand cream also helps with circulation when rubbing it in.

Best gift my family had was someone taking the washing and returning it washed, home cooked meals delivered to your door ... strongly recommend the lipsalve.... Vaseline as it's the one with less chemicals in ..

Really nice sturdy slippers to wear in the chemo suite, depending on the type of chemo it can be such a long day and the comfier you can be the better. One of those wraparound pillows also helped.

As someone else mentioned, high quality non metal cutlery. My mum had horrible mouth ulcers and cordosyl mouthwash massively helped with that. Boiled sweets can also help the funny taste in the mouth.

Dry skin can be a side effect so o’keefes working hand cream or a lovely moisturiser.

Some sort of stationary pouch/folder, you used to receive a chemo/treatment book, lots of appointment letters/aftercare docs and you often get given leaflets to resources so can be handy to just keep all in one place.

A cosy fleece blanket - chemo makes you so cold, I took mine into hospital each time. My friend got me some thick fleecy socks too. Had those on even in the Summer months!
Ginger biscuits, extra strong mints and polos.
Zero alcohol mouthwash- use it at the first sign of an ulcer. A baby toothbrush - to be very gentle when brushing teeth.

When I was having chemo I was given a bag packed with a sleep mask, sucky sweets, ginger and lemon tea bags, a stationery folder for all the paperwork, notebook and pen, moisturiser (I found Aveeno the best), lipsalve, puzzle book, an insulated drinks bottle so i could dill it with either coffee or a cold drink, a Costa voucher for the hospital coffee shop, an amazon voucher so that i could buy books for my kindle and ear buds to plug into my phone. I really appreciated it and it became my 'grab bag' for hospital appointments.

Look after who is caring for him

I talk from experience

Pay for a weekly cleaner. Im just off for mine now and honestly? Nothing gets used from the chemo bag. You have to play it by ear. Sometimes you just chat for three hours with your chemo neighbour. A water bottle filled with nice water, a very good sun screen and maybe some graze snacks. They will feed him there. Chemo is different for everyone and im sure his wife will be getting him his moisturiser. Also tell him to start taking a mild laxative, you dont poo for days.

There is a lot of sitting and feeling cold during chemo. My friend made me a basket with a blanket and fluffy socks, books, boiled sweets, hand cream, lip balm, lots of cosmetic items that might not be relevant here but it was lovely and really helped see me through. I'm sorry this is happening to your FIL