Throwing this one out there for your opinions

[ExBusinessAnalyst]

Please can I get some opinions on this situation

You’re asked by your partner to contact a tradesman to get a problem rectified

You ring his chosen tradesman but have to leave a message as there’s no reply

A few hours later you’re asked by your partner if you’ve made contact. You reply yes. What did you say? You reply you said where we’d had the number from and what the problem was - could he help/give advice. Partners response - oh you went into too much detail that’s why he hasn’t called back .. I’d have just said … XYZ

AIBU for being hacked off? I didn’t explode which I feel I could have done but did say eventually ‘you’ve p1$$3d me off by your response’ - he’s exploded and told me he can’t cope with me anymore and I should p1$$ of back to my mums (quite loudly)

In his defence he is going through a tough time as his son has cut all ties with him and I know he’s very cut up about it - he’s just found out his son and partner are having a second child (we haven’t seen the youngest since he wax 3 months old) - should I ignore his outburst? I want to cut him some slack but I’m tired of feeling like this 😓

Why should you cut him some slack? If I'm honest it seems abundantly clear why his son has cut contact and if I were you I would be looking to make a similar choice. He sounds like a right arsehole.

Well if his kid has gone no contact he's probably a dickhead anyway.

Your partner has been cut off by his son, to the extent that he wasn't in the loop about his impending grandchild and has been cut off from seeing his current grandchild for at least a year. I don't think your call to the tradesman is the issue, sounds like you'd have received that reaction if you'd appeared to blink.

It's clearly nothing to do with your communication with the tradesman. He's taking his frustrations out on you which isn't fair.
But ignore the tradesman thing, if he responds then good, if not call someone else.
Talk to him in broader terms about how you understand he's under pressure but you are feeling stressed by his reactions. Would he agree to see a counsellor, to deal with these other family issues? Or maybe you could go together?

I'd accept his invitation. He sounds like a dick.

I think all responses so far are telling me the same thing (thank you fellow mumsnetters) and if I’m honest with myself they’re nothing I didn’t know already - I just don’t know how to move forward at this point 😢

I really hate myself for being in this situation (I used to be a strong (and reasonably independent woman) but parents illnesses and my own redundancy have all conspired to make me question myself and ignore warning signs I should’ve seen.